Weddings and funerals

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Maybe this is just me, but I'm curious to see how everyone else approaches these things.
It's accepted that ASD people can be different emotionally than others - maybe this is what makes funerals and weddings, and to a lesser extent similar things like baby showers or bucks/hens nights or engagements or whatever, awkward for me.
I have no inclination to go to any of these events that you're supposed to feel, and therefore display, the appropriate emotions. It sets me on edge that everyone else is, and it just ends up being embarrassing and awkward. I have no idea what is appropriate to say, so just end up speaking minimally and entirely in cliches - "I'm sorry for your loss" at funerals tend to be fairly common and empty, "congratulations I know you'll be very happy" at weddings. You get the idea.
So I just avoid them. The problem is my family are really beginning to think I'm an a***hole. At the moment, they're annoyed that I don't want to go and see an extended family member who is dying of cancer. Me, I'd just feel hypocritical. In ten years we've visited maybe once - we're not close. We wouldn't be there for any other reason except to stare at someone dying. Plus you're supposed to be all sad and so on, and I just don't respond that way to death. I don't intend to be heartless, or offend anyone - I just kind of am.
Anyone else have strategies for dealing with this kind of thing?

I have no trouble at funerals because I'm sensitive and I cry very easily. It's weddings and baby showers that I have a problem with. I have to sitaround my same sex peers with the feeling that I've never gone passed the age of 16, while they're all sitting around in their low cut dresses and high heels with their jewlery and makeup, talking to each other a mile a minute.

Weddings are fine as long as I don't have to wear a dress, heels or makeup. I'd love to go to a wedding dressed the way that The Kinks are in my avatar. That would solve everything and I would have a touch of feminine lace upon the collar.

I feel you there. I hate funerals and weddings. I always avoid them. I have only been to one wedding in my life and funerals are always so awkward. I am constantly thinking I am not showing enough emotion and people will think Im a jackass. I also laugh at the worst times.. this includes funerals. Talk about embarrassed... getting full blown giggles during a wake. Don't get me wrong, not trying to be disrespectful. I simply just get the giggles at the worst times.

If I saw you at a wedding dressed like that, I'd think there was at least one interesting person there.

I hate weddings because they are incredibly boring, overwhelming, and I don't really understand why they're such a big deal. If I were to get married, I'd do it quietly, maybe do a drive-through in Vegas with Elvis.
And funerals are very awkward. Really, what do you say to someone who's grieving? I'm really awkward any time someone is feeling sad or whatever, and funerals have to be the worst as far as that goes.