Eye Contact is Pointless...

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My mother told me that if I don't make eye contact people will think I am hiding something. She told me I will learn someday. I just don't get how to look at someones face. Will eye contact be important for when I am at a job?

I look at people's foreheads instead of in their eyes. It gets easier. My mum never understood either.

What if they think I am staring at them?

I look at peoples noses instead.

I was once told that eye contact is used to indicate whose turn it is to speak during a conversation. Nowadays I give a quick glance at their eyes when I've finished, and nobody's had a problem. I still forget from time to time, though.

Eye contact is very important. It shows the person that you are focus and attentive to them in the conversation. More so in a group situation that you are having eye contact with the person talking.

If you don't move your eyes or head then it would be considered staring over a period of time. People like other people to focus on them when they are talking but if you do it too long then it will be too intense. For some people that is just creepy.

While your maintaining eye contact, move your eyes every so often. Move your head slightly. Just as long as your head is pointed in their direction is the most important part. Look at their mouth, nose or hair and then move back to their eyes.

We may not like it, but I've found especially if you can't do it in interviews you are behind other applicants. Job coaches have commented on this before (I physically can't make eye contact having not just AS but being cross-eyed).

I do quick glances and it hurts and feels weird.

I used to be better at it but now I realize I'm wired to not like it so stopped nearly completely.

If you can't tell that I'm listening to you by the way I respond in conversation, instead relying upon some 'signal', I don't care to deal with you anyhow. Someone else can gain the benefits of whatever it is I am providing.

Some social rule to show that you are a trusting person and are not getting bored during a conversation.

You would need to show some eye contact during a job interview to get the job in the first place. Eyebrows and nose work for me, or sometimes I can only manage the shoulder.

As for me eye contact makes me lose my train of thought, muddle up my words, think the person I'm talking to either wants to do me or kill me and it's physically painful. Besides there are lots of pretty patterns to look around inside a building or in nature. Those suckers making eye contact are missing out.

I think one thing about that (if you can manage some degree of it without it being too bad/distracting/painful/etc.) is figuring out when (or, with who) you need to do that and when you don't. I.e. job interview == yes, handing ticket to train-ticket-puncher-guy == probably not necessary, cop == yes, DMV clerk who is ignoring you == probably would be helpful, etc.

It is pointless to me, but it really isn't to NT's. When I was younger I never had a problem with eye contact. For me it just felt natural to look at someone when I'm talking to them, or at least in their general direction. But eventually people started complaining that I was always staring at them, so I thought to myself, well, they can't think that if I never look at them. I got in the habit of not looking at people when I talk to them. And then my mom started complaining that I would never look at her. That has only made the situation worse. Now every time I'm in public I end up thinking "look them in the eye" over and over again, and it just feels extremely awkward. Especially for someone with no multitasking ability such as me, that does nothing but cause more problems, but I'm starting to get better. For me, the problem isn't so much looking at the person I'm talking to, as it is knowing that they're looking at me. Although this is probably due to my extreme nearsightedness, without my glasses anything farther away than about 30cm starts to look blurry, so I really don't read anything from looking at people (thank god). The only person I absolutely cannot make eye contact with is my mom. I don't even know why, I think possibly because I know that if I do she will say something about it, and it's not something I ever want to talk about, whereas with everyone else, I have to make eye contact to appear as a normal person. If this is confusing and hard to read, its 2:30AM and I'm very tired. I know I'm not quite thinking clearly.

Yes it would be important when you get one. I hear when you don't give eye contact during an interview, they won't hire you.

I also find it useful when you all of a sudden hear someone speak, you turn and look at them to see if they are talking to you. That is if you are alone and there is another person nearby and if they start talking, look at them to make sure they are talking to you. They'd be looking at you if they are. This is something I do to avoid embarrassment because sometimes people are on their phones or there is another person nearby and I thought they were talking to me and then I find out they weren't.

But the trick is you can look at their faces instead or at their head or ears. Or look at their body but not woman's chests because then they might think you are staring at their boobs.

And it does get easier as you keep doing it and then it gets wired into your brain to do it naturally. It took me about a few years to get the hang of it and now it's natural but sometimes I still have a hard time looking at people but that happens in new situations or when I am nervous or when it's with anyone new. I still can't look at my doctors. I even had a hard time looking at my bosses and still do. I don't know what impression I am giving them and I don't really care. When I feel comfortable, I look at people. It took me a while to look at my husband when I talk to him or when he speaks to me.