Poor Boundaries,does this relate to lacking"theory of M

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When reading about AS ,one thing I really related to,was poor boundaries.

I have good physical boundaries....dont get to close,but I might borrow someones "something"but I will return it and treat it with respect and have no problem with others doing likewise with my things...key word being respectful...

My bigest boundary issue is "To much information"....I always assumed it was from going to counselers and being an open,honest and unashamed person....I know many of my faults but I dont think I am a bad person for making mistakes ,so I have no "shame" in talking about them whenever they are relevent to a conversation.I want to be excepted for who I am and "inspite" of who I am...but giving to much info can be intrussive to other persons....I dont really know why this is,but I read it some where and it does seem to be followed in our society.Divulging this information to "soon" can result in a negative reaction from the other person(this I have finnally figured out after 42 years).After the "reaction" or fear of it....I tend to push the person away....ahhhhh,run away,run away.....
which further confusses the person....

Anyone else have this isuue?Sometimes I feel like a repentent Nudist....expose myself and then run away.....what a pervert....

Yeah, I get this. I’ve recently been thinking about my earliest experiences being humiliated by bullies. It was pre-school. There was a pool and a changing room. I remember being laughed at by older kids, I think because of my casualness and lack of shame about my nakedness. I think this persists today in that I tend to not be shy about some things that sometimes people seem to think maybe I should. Like my AS. I think I feel like you do. “This is the way I am and I’m not going to be ashamed.”

too much information too soon.....a cultural negative..


yes, that gets real interesting when your telling the right information to the right people and they have this strange cultural negative about it...or worse, when they REQUEST the information, and you follow the rules and tell them, only to find that 'whoah...when you said tell me you meant DONT tell me'..... I'll never understand, and have since mostly stopped trying to.

where's the handbook.

Too much information -- that is a social blunder I make regularly.

It's hard to find the right balance between saying nothing and saying too much.

Same here, thats a hard one and i'm also often not ashamed or embaressed by the same things that other people are and will talk at things that embaress other people. It s link to my poor understanding of whats rude and what isn't and also to the suprising fact that people often say things they don't mean. Why do people do that?! ! Beats me.

Yeah, I know what you mean... I regret telling a lot of people about AS now. I can never tell what I should tell, so now I barely say anything important (when I'm careful; other times I forget).

So true. I talk a lot, yet can't determine what's important & can't figure out how well I'm being understood by others. I'm terrible at skill of "summing up" instead of listing every little detail. When I do brief version of things it feels like I'm lying, because editing requires so much omission as to seem inaccurate. Wish I could be otherwise, oh well. Hope is that if I give other person all the "puzzle pieces", they can put them together. Alas, friend of mine tells me that TMI can be as confusing as providing insufficient info. I really do understand that, but it doesn't help me.
When I was a kid/teenager, didn't occur to me to explain some things about myself to other people. Other things, it didn't occur to me to not to explain. Also, had no sense of who was "safe" to be open with. Since getting dx'd AS a few years ago, I've been able to work on this with new (analytical, not intuitive) awareness.

I have often fallen into the trap of giving away too much personal information which someone has delved out of me only to find in a social gathering they are recounting the information to embarass me. " Hey guess what she confided that she has an xyz" I think one of my so called friends has done this so often I'm immune to feeling embarrasment. I must learn that somethings are private and I have a right to keep them so.
Too much information as in too much detail, yes I do that too, brevity is key. I have an aunt who recalls incidents with frightening detail to every blade of grass its excrutiating, I don't think I'm that bad.

Yeah Ive had people say embarassing things about me when they didnt think I could hear them (auspie sensitivity does come in handy sometimes).

Ive found if someone is saying something negative about you and you arrive in their vicinity immediately afterwards, awkward (for them) silence ensues so I just grin and watch them squirm uncomfortably.

It works especially well if they're uncertain if you heard them or not.. wondering about it will drive them crazy.

I'll try, that Fraya!

I give too much information and even though I know I should not do this I still do.

I have a big problem with this. I think it drives people away from me because if I don't know someone very well, I tend to be sort of withdrawn and not talk much. Once I start to feel comfortable around them, I start talking and never shut up! More than one person has told me that it took them completely by surprise. I think people start to feel overwhelmed by the amount of information... ask me a simple question and I start rambling on all over the place and then they stop responding and I get the message (too late) that they want me to shut up. It's best if I figure this out before they start making chicken noises, but alas, this is not always the case. My family is always on my case about giving too much personal info to strangers (yeah, like on this site they would not be happy about it. Oh well.)

Well...Its good to know that I am not the only "full Discloserer"...second part of question...

Have you ever avoided people afterwords out of embarassment?

I think I have ruined potential friendships because after having disclosed...I start feeling freaked out and avoid the person...I dont really understand why I feel embarassed(maybe ,like I flashed them.."Krex opens raincoat and smiles")....but this has to be confussing as hell for them,who think they are "special" that I would have revealed so much of myself(I dont know how else TO be)...and why am I now acting so "snobby " or "stand offish"....(maybe they are secretly relieved to be shed of me)but I always feel guilty ,like I have deserted them...No wonder I have no friends...lol

Usually people avoid me anyway so I don't have to avoid them but sometimes I do, if I realize that I started going on and on about some "weird" detail of myself, and found out that the person was totally nonplussed and trying to withdraw but I overlooked their signals (or at any rate, that's how I interpretted it)... then I'm embarassed and try to get away even faster. Sometimes I apologize later and that makes everything worse

I'm so glad to have read this thread! I have a terrible habit of saying too much. I can tell when I'm doing it because of the way people react, but usually it's too late. For me it's either telling people stuff that's far too personal, or just getting far too long-winded about trivial stuff. I think it's interesting that so many of us can tell when it's happening, as Aspies supposedly can't read people..... That's not the problem in this instance, is it? Personally, I wish people could be as honest with me as I am with them - but we have to play by the rules, even if they make no sense to us, to be accepted, don't we?

Well, it's usually them avoiding me. I open my mouth because I don't have the embarrassment to begin with and their quality of shame doesn't always translate to me. I do get embarrassed by avoiding people, though it's internal.