Why Can't People Be Upfront With Me?

Post Reply New Topic

Prime example at work today.

I work for a heating oil company that owns convenience stores. I normally work in the C-store, but fill in occaisionally at the oil office. I filled for a day about a month ago, and again today, the manager wanted to have a day off. He was there first thing to show me a couple things in the computer that had been changed.

I Digress,

On his way out he mentioned that one of the delivery drivers (who spend all of 30 minutes in the office) took offense at my choice of radio station (conservative talk radio) and requested i keep it neutral. Perfectly reasonable request, but why could my coworker not have spoken up when i first turned the radio on?

I have always had the philosophy that, if you have an issue with me, tell me, dont go behind my back and have another person twist the story and give me hell for it. I cant fix something that i dont know is broken.

I would have been more than happy to put it on something else, or turn it off altogether, but why listen to Rush Limbaugh for half an hour, not say a word and then go rat me out to the manager?

I have had this issue my entire life. Nobody is straight with me, they play these games and i am getting tired of it. I try not to be "stand-offish", im open to legitimate constructive criticism, but people insist on "ratting me out" for matters that could have easily been addressed and squared away on the spot with me.

Anyone else have this problem?

Any coworker whose complaint to the manager has to do with radio station preferences needs to calm down. He/she needs to complain about something that's actually worth complaining about.

personally, i think it was the manager himself who doesnt like it, he straight up told me once that he was a "socialist".

he put it under the umbrella of "keeping it neutral" in the office. I say there is no such thing! I like country, someone else likes rap. I like Christian Contemporary music, someone else is into pagan kazoo music (or something)

I have asked the titular question so many times. I find out that something I did or am doing is a problem at a point that the offended party has decided that it is too late for any reasonable redress or apology. This happened with several roommates over time, with relatives fairly frequently, and other various people. It's always frustrating, and feels extremely passive-aggressive to me.

Everyone knows that the only acceptable radio station at work is Easy Listening Soft Rock!

Because it makes most people uncomfortable to be seen as a "bad guy". If it really was the coworker who had a problem with the radio station, the manager gets PAID to deal with crap like that. He gets paid more to basically do paperwork and say no to people. If the manager himself had a problem with it, saying it was a coworker who was offended allows him to avoid responsibility for correcting you.
It's a symptom of Most People Want to be Liked by EVERYONE at ALL TIMES Syndrome. Comorbid with Avoiding Confrontation Syndrome.
It might make you angry, but is just is. You can't control other peoples' behavior, but you can control your response to it. Don't let em rile you.

"Everyone knows" huh? Was i supposed to be born knowing that?

Out of all the music in this great wide world, only three genres irritate me

-Soft rock played by bands like "men without testicles" (ala george carlin)

-New age music, that pointless meandering zombie noise played by pseudo-spiritual lunatics who think windchimes are a musical instrument (also, ala george carlin)

-Rap

Just about everything else is fair game with me. I just wish the offended party would have spoken up, i would have fixed the "problem" right then and there.