Fights with family/SO about clothing!

Post Reply New Topic

Do you guys get into a lot of major battles/fights/tantrums over something that appears so unimportant as clothes. I've gotten into so many fights, it's starting to wear me down. I don't know if it's BDD-related or AS-related but I feel my whole day is wasted if I'm not wearing clothes that I'm comfortable with. I feel "icky"/uncomfortable/whimpish if I'm not wearing my particular style/comfort/brand of clothing. I'd rather not go out at all. I've had major swearing back and forth sessions with SOs (significant others) over this issue. Anybody else like this?

I used to go through the same thing with my parents as a kid. I tried to tell them my clothes hurt me or embarased me but they didn't listen until I would hide said sweatshirt or dress. My parents insisted I go to church with them and dress "feminine". My parents would tell me that wearing uncomfortable clothing was nothing compared to what Jesus did for us. I felt like I was going to church not for God but just to apease my parents anyway. I felt fake when I dressed "feminine" and they last person I should have to feel fake for is God. There is nothing in the Bible about wearing your Sunday best to Church anyway...there also isn't anything about going to church either...just remember the Sabatoh, it isn't specified extactaly where I remember the saboth. We don't go to church anymore anyway. If my parents start going again, I don't think I will be joining them. It is very painful for me to wear anything on my knees. It always has been and I haven't worn pants in years. Cold weather never bothered me. My jacket or coat I was forced to wear bothered me more than the weather. My mother would force me to wear pants....practicaly all year round because she was afraid social services was going to take me away. When I turned 18, my parents figured if I wanted to freeze they should just go ahead and let me.

I still have fights with my parents over my clothes. My mom says I look like a photograph because I'm always wearing the exact same thing. Funny, though, that most other people seem to like how I dress.

i have gotten into fights with parents over the cost of clothing while shopping but nothing more than that.

I don't care much about my clothing. What I wear is at the behest of my wife and employer. Unprompted, I would probably look really scruffy. I just don't care that much. I suppose my only preference is for colorful shirts (tropical prints work, but anything bright and colorful) and baggy pants. But the pants can't hang off my butt. And barefoot. If I lived in a tropical climate I would where board shorts and nothing else, if I could get away with it.

But I don't care enough to make a stink.

Not really because I always gave in. Mom was always reassuring me is why. Also I thought I had to wear it because she put them on me. I didn't know I could say no to it. One time I decided to get these shorts that were jeans and I tried them on. I hated them and mom made me get them anyway. She made me wear them to school once and it was hell because it felt like I had something tight around me, I am not sure how to describe the feeling. But it distracted me more and I was unable to do my school work.

Every time mom made me wear them at home, I take them off and be in my shirt and underwear. She told me I'd get used to them and stretch them out and they get looser on me. But I hated the feeling.

Mom stopped making me get clothes I didn't like because why get them if I won't wear them? It be a waste of money. She let me get clothes I felt comfortable in unless she thought they were inappropriate for my age. I once found a dress I liked but she wouldn't let me get it because it showed too much of my body and I was only 11 then. She didn't want teen guys staring at my body.

Also mom used to tell me to take my clothes off because I had worn them that week or the shirt was dirty or smelled. Or because the shirt was too long and it looked like I had nothing on under neath. She made me wear longer shorts or a shorter shirt. I don't see what's so wrong with wearing long shirts that cover your shorts. I even had on a dress and my husband was saying it looks like a shirt and I was like "so what?" He made me change. We used to fight over my coat too until he dug in his heals and tossed my coat in the trash in the Target parking lot. He said he would have let me have a meltdown there if I did. I thought about going back the next day but I figured the trash had already been emptied so no point in wasting gas.

A funny story about my shoes, I had these shoes that were tearing up and mom called them my crappy shoes. She would try and toss them out but I always took them out of the trash. She even ask me to wear another pair because she couldn't stand looking at them. But they didn't look all that bad. Then one day she was happy I finally tossed them out.

But the clothes I wore as a kid made me more of an outcast and a dork because pants were a few inches sort on me. I just didn't like new clothes because they looked too mature and I hated the fact I had to wear junior clothes than girls because of my height. It was hard then because I felt like a little kid inside me but yet little girl clothes were too short on me. Very few of them still fit depending on the style. So having to wear Juniors was hard. I used to find clothes that looked childish as possible if I had to go shopping for new clothes which I hated. Mom had to lie she got them from the childrens so I would wear it and like it.

I'm probably in the minority here, but I love wearing different outfits. I do have sensory issues with certain fabrics, though. I try to wear all natural fabrics because synthetic fabrics really bother me, as well as itchy wool fabrics.

I've been meaning to write a blog post about dressing stealth for aspies - dressing well, but working with your sensory issues. Things like dark jeans with a little stretch in them that can sometimes pass as dress pants, blazers made out of sweatshirt material, plain cotton trousers, comfy fabrics to look for, etc.

I've been compiling a bunch of tips and tricks for being comfortable and appearing put-together, but I'm worried they only apply to women. Any guys want to contribute as well? You will get credit on the blog post, of course!

So let me know if you're interested in collaborating!

I used to get into arguments over it, now everyone is just used to me. I'm not a "slob" but I like to be comfortable, and if I have to wear clothes that I am uncomfortable in I'd rather not go anywhere. My mom still tries to trick me into buying womanly clothing, but I just can't. I also have an NT sister, and I am sure that she is horrified at the way I dress. LOL. Little does she know, I am horrified about how SHE dresses.

The only fights I had with my mom over my clothes were sensory related. I remember a shirt my grandmother bought for me that was SO ugly I would not wear it to school even when my mom bribed me with money. I may not have been aware of current fashion trends nor did I care what others thought of my clothes but if I found something ugly, I would not wear it and no one could make me. My sensory issues didn't help either. I think my parents wanted to send me to a private school but they knew they would have to go through hell to make me wear a uniform that probably would have assulted my sences.