feeling completely out of place?

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24/7? I mean, sort of a given i think, but expecially when i'm with people, people who have gone as far to include me in their convo or invite me out. i always feel like i have "MISPLACED" stamped on my forehead because everyone seems so uncomfortable or aware that i don't belong there. i mean, i love listening to people talk and include me in their talk, but i never have anything relevant to add.
For example i went to lunch with a pal yesterday, and she's fine with us sitting in relevant silence (she's sort of anti-people herself, but she's pretty NT), but then we ran into another kid who we know. he sat with us and talked and was super friendly and cool (if i knew him better, i'd be crazy about him haha), but i had so little to add to the conversation, i just know that everyone thinks i'm a freak in the back of their head.

that's one of the reasons i would like a proper diagnosis, at least to have an explantion/excuse for why i am how i am, and so that i could explain to people that they should still include, i just won't act the same as they expect...but it's hard to do that when your only explanation is "I'm just weird like that".

Advice?

In the situations you describe, the people involved may not necessarily think of you as strange unless you are doing something that is very noticeably abnormal (i.e. stimming). People would usually just percieve you as quiet if you simply have nothing to add to the conversation. They may, however, percieve you as rude if you dont acknowledge their prescence in any way. It depends on the situation and the people involve.

With that said, you should definitely pursue a diagnosis in order to get to know your own behaviours better and to understand your own capabilities and areas of improvement. From there, you will be able to serve as a self-advocate so when an awkward situation does come along, you'll be able to explain things in regards to your own behaviour. Stating simply 'I have aspergers' doesnt explain much, but explaining what kinds of situations you struggle with, and why, does.

oh thank you. you are the first, even here on this site, to gree that i should seek diagnosis to help me uderstand. everyone else has either chewed me out for wanting diagnosis or told me to wait some ten years....

It may be of some value to also do some reading. There are a number of books that have been written by folks on the spectrum
( i consumed "parallel play" and "be different" )
I would recommend be different, though there may be books written by women who better share ur experince.

I am 34
I was diagnised with add as a kid. I was finnaly diagnosed with aspergers this spring. Being able to ubderstand the why behibd so many occasions that had brought me pain in the past was healing on its own. Also Adding in a better ability to explaine why i am just weird like that

I don't mean to be in any way offensive, but have you ever looked at the symptoms of social anxiety disorder? People with ASD can have social anxiety, of course, but people with SAD feeling like people are constantly judging them and finding them wanting. In social situations, they feel like people are watching them, always noticing the things they do wrong. It's like a spotlight is on them, making all their differences and difficulties clear to even perfect strangers across the room. And if that is the biggest and most consuming problem you have, it might be worthwhile to look into SAD.

But I don't want to assume that I know anything about your experience. But regardless of whether or not you think you have it, having some information on the subject wouldn't hurt if you are thinking about getting a diagnosis so some quack won't try and slap you with the wrong one.

Mori I think that is some very worthwhile advice.

I have actually looked into SAD, a few years back. As with Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, ADHD, and several other disorders which I have looked into, none ever fit like AS.
I didn't write about any of my symptoms in my post, but if you look at my old posts you'll see a pretty detailed recounting of what i experience.

agh it really bothers me that someone's under the impression that those are my only symptoms.

Um thanks for the suggestion though.

You know, dx or not 'I'm just weird like that' is a perfectly acceptable response for most people. There is a good chance you just feel weirder than people perceive you.

Getting a dx may give you some piece of mind but just be forwarned - it won't make you any less 'weird'. I'd suggest embracing your weirdness - own it! No matter who you are self confidence is an attractive trait that most people gravitate towards.

Those disorders are all very similar though.

This is what I tell people to work out which disorder they might have:
Now AS and ADHD (I will use this as an example) share similar symptoms but AS symptoms are more about rigid thought, a few interests that seem to be the centre of your world, repetitive behaviour called stimming which helps you calm down, a certain way of doing things (routine), either wanting to be social but lacking the appropriate skills or showing no interest in people and there may be some motor skills issues and sensory issues.
If you had ADHD you won't be able to have much control over what you pay attention to. Even when I'm wanting to spend time on a special interest it if takes a lot of mental power I would rather take medication to understand it clearly and remember it. And I don't have a great long term memory compared with others on the spectrum.

You can also have AS and social anxiety. I've had it, now I have more a sensory anxiety and can barely survive an hour in a crowded cafe. All I hear is noise and people are mixed into the rest of the chaos before my eyes. I barely notice them anymore.

Anyway, I'm not here to discourage you from getting a diagnosis. Be warned though: some people will take you explaining your diagnosis to them as you making excuses and not taking responsibility for your behaviour. Some people will accept you (my friends do) but others may not (like my family).