venting about family and fixing u

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Rrrr so i just walked out of the house to escape this reoccurent coversation with my dad. How do we fix u. I have been hearing this since i was a kid misdiagnosed with add.
This kinda thinking that if you just find the right professional everything else will be solved.
It is frustraiting as hell trying to explsine to him the reality that there are pretty much zero services available to people who are diagnosed as adults. What is available presumes that u are either classified as MR or compleatly unable to function.
Its like a trap i get him to read books like be different or parellel play and he seems to think that there is sone one step solution that will make me go from the brilliant 34 y/o who can lay hands(in tge healer sense) on computers seems to have a psychic bond with the nonverbal adults with lfa that i work with but cant get ahead in a feild that is more about inhouse politix than anything else, to having a well paid job that can acctually support me.
Considering that he grew up in a generation that someone like me woukd just have been shuffled along into grad school as he was and then emerge with the actual posdibility of getting paid a living. As opposed to taking on 150k+ in debt to pay for grad school along with the likely outcome of then being unemployed since the only thing employers really look at is how u market urself not the fact that u can do the job better than anyone else, juzt arent good at talking s**t.


Ok that was an incoherant rant. But i did warn ya at the subject line.

There's no cure, dad!

There is nothing to fix. You are not broken. You could use some assistance and education in navigating the social cesspool of office politics but MOST people need help with that to some degree.

I'd ask him not to discourage me and make me feel worse about myself - I'd ask him to refrain from sabotaging me and my efforts to deal with the hand that life had dealt me. I'd tell him I needed someone willing to help me learn what I did not understand and someone to help me advocate for myself. I'd tell him point blank - I need positive input from one of the most important people in my life - not a string of negatives that do nothing to help.

Not incoherent and entirely understood.

Prob was incoherant but it is always good to feel understood.
A big part of my challenge is that my dad has an enourmous amout if the traits (particularly when it comes to being oblivious to the emotions wants and needs of others.) He often comes out with really hurtful things and seems utterly unaware. And no the irony if that is not lost on me. Honestly it is in understanding that i draw the strength to forgive him for so many things that have hurt me thriughout my life.
I can even understand the idea of fixing u as just looking at the problem logically and suggesting a solution. He can easily grasp the AS traits that my niece exhibits ( though under a dif/dx she is more hfa based on speach delays, where i spoke early if snything and was using 6-9 syllibal words as a six year old (little professor) and at that age corrected the minister during his sermon for using the word cobbler to mean shoemaker rather than a shoddy craftsmen). Or even those of his brother (undiagnosed and obliviouse, he has been obsessed with trains for 65+ years but is also now retired from his career as the health inspector in one of the wealthier counties in bay area California. ) I kinda hope by the time he finnishes reading all of the things he has delved into to try and understand me better he might start to catch on. I mean he did tell me when i made him read "dude im an aspie" how he had axcidently congradulated a grad student in making tenore because he mistoke them for a younger proffesor.

It does however give me some better understanding of how hard i must be to deal with for my NT freinds. Though for the most part they have been possibly more understanding than family.