I hate it when NTs tell me "just get over it"

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Some NTs in uni are nice...but I hate the way they talk to me when I'm depressed or anxious.

QUOTE NT "Does having an anxiety attack help you solve the problem? It doesn't! So just get over it!"

QUOTE NT "You're not the only one who has problems, everyone has their problems in life, so just get over it!"

QUOTE NT "You're not the only one who is stressed, so it's not a big deal, just deal with it."

QUOTE NT "Why are you so depressed? There's nothing wrong with having autism!"

QUOTE NT "Stop using AS as an excuse, you're not the only one who has problems in life."

QUOTE NT "It's easy to talk to people, just open your month."

etc etc etc...anyone has similar expereince? I totally hate it!! !! !! !! !!!ARGH!! !! !! !! !! It also made me realise how hard it is for people to empathise with others.....

Those are the people, who would dare choose to hurt a soul.

I sometimes wonder if the various people who have damaged me -- those people whose presence in my life I am still recovering from -- have any idea what they really did to me or how deeply their actions and choices have altered my life.

I suspect most, if not all, of them have absolutely no idea what they've done.

They say this because they don't understand what's going on in our heads. If they could be aspie for a day the comments would stop.

Vanilla_Slice

One thing I tell them is that no i'm not goingto
get over it, you asked, now its your problem.

Another thing I tell them is "If you were really
my frend you'd do something about it instad
of makinng me feel bad about it it isn't my fault
I was born this way"

When people do that, I'm always tempted to break their nose and tell them to get over it because everyone experiences physical pain.
I wouldn't recommend that you actually do that, though; I'm sure that assault charges wouldn't improve your life.

Yeah but more in a situation where some idiot steals form you and tells you to get over it. (Extreme irrationality.)

Like at a party, I'll have a 6 pack in a fridge take 2 come back 20min later and there's none left. Look around to see what everyones drinking, find the bloke confront him, he laughs turns his head and tells me to get over it some have threatened to hit me too. That kind of crap, I can't stand it and it consumes my mind for hours afterwards. Usually I just swipe it out of his hand but deep down I would like to bash the living crap out of them, so next time they do it to someone else they'll think twice. Attitudes that condescending really really get to me. And basically I feel justice HAS to be served, like I can't just drop things like that? Is anyone else like that?

What I hate is when someone says or does something nasty and when I confront them about it, I'm told I have no sense of humor and can't take a joke. Joking is fun and friendly, not mean and nasty.

agreed

Tell a blind man to watch where he's going....

It is the same deal with adults and children. A child might fall down, and begin crying without having been injured at all. An adult can not understand the emotional investment in something that is not even an issue to them.

I've had that said to me a lot of times since 1974. The 'get over it' sort of thing is just a cliche and is said by people who can not/do not care whether one is alive or dead. NTs exect to be empathised with, but not to be empathetic with anyone, except their favourite social group. Also they are a can dish it but not take it sort of people too. Neurotypicals have dished out aspiphobic comments and would not like anything said back. Another thing they will use ignorance such as the 'I did not know you had AS' as an excuse. If When I was a child, people knew I was an aspie would have they been any different. The answer is no.

They obviously don't know what it's like to be autistic, but they're right in that you do need to stay positive and try and "get over" some of the negative aspects of autism.

I can sympathize totally.

But, a word of wisdom.

IF you can figure out how to neutralize the factors that trigger these events, it's worth it.

A lot of stuff used to set me off. Once I learned to "get over it," they didn't affect me as they used to. Took some time to ID the source of the triggers, though.

Exactly what I was thinking. Sometimes I'd like to rearange some dumb f***ers face and then tell them to "get over it".

Ya I took the advice of a therapist "Be myself" and I went on got a job was "myself" and upset a coworker! (looking back I'm the real huggy/clingy type of person) so that might have turned her off (kind of weird for a girl to be clingy to another female) I was asked by the boss do you know what sexual harassment is Brandy? Uh no. (I was clueless) they told me my behavior was an issue and I broke down in tears! This was the ONE thing I was trying to AVOID having behavior issues with somebody unforutnently I screwed up AGAIN! Now lets just hope learning of AS/my issues etc. can help me change my behavior when I return to college!! !! Also BTW I've heard alot of those above quotes of Just get over it!

What an object lesson that would be, though! Oh, well...

Some of these people really don't give a crap. But sadly, a lot think they're giving good advice (funny how rarely the receiver actually was seeking advice). It may, in fact, be a good thing to do but almost no one can glean an entire text just from the title... In other words, if it is more healthy to let things go, it isn't always as simple as just letting things go. There's ways and means. However, when you're upset about something, especially a recurring problem, any instructions in getting over it are going to be irritating. Too often they sound like someone giving someone permission for having been a jerk to you. Let's face it, any time you've had an upsetting experience, you have to feel like you have the right to feel something about it. A lot of people who suggest just getting over it are disregarding your feelings about it... things that you need to explore sometimes in order to decide what to do or how to react in the future. Push aside these things and they'll be able to sideswipe you again later, at least, that's how I am. Now, if I brood over the negative side or over things I can't actually fix, yeah, it gets worse. If I think it over and figure out how to respond in the future, say, deciding things like this aren't worth my valuable thinking time (which is important to me, though most people don't seem to spend much time doing that...), then I do better.

Trouble is, getting inside someone's head and seeing their side of matters has always been more work and taken more time than assuming they're exactly like you and dispensing prefabricated truisms without the embellishment of pity, understanding, or insight. The latter approach has all the specific consideration of telling someone to drop by anytime. It says, "I accept you as you are... as long as I don't have to make any effort."

I guess it is that many people do just let things go, by a certain age. It's just something they come to do over time. So the cliches are not in fact advice but, from their perspective, a reminder of what people such as they already know and do.

And, I expect that there's always the troublesome people who resent mention of a diagnosis because they think it gives someone an out for things everyone has to deal with. A lot of these people secretly think your problem isn't a neurological condition, though they will say it's all in your head. Two sides of the same coin, one internal, one external. One not your fault, one that is your fault as well as anyone else who raised you wrong. I wish I could say that educating people about Asperger's automatically meant that they accept and believe in it as a genuine condition... but I think it falls with ADHD and the like in the category of things people often dismiss as excuses.

Not all of those are negative. They may be sincerely trying to help, but haven't the slightest clue how. So they figure saying something has a better chance of being right than saying nothing. But yeah, some of them are stupid comments, though I can see where some are coming from.