Do You Self Harm or Have You Self Harmed?

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Do You Self Harm ?
I used to. 38%  38%  [ 18 ]
I Never Have Done. 13%  13%  [ 6 ]
I Self Harm Occasionally. 50%  50%  [ 24 ]
Total votes : 48

Graelwyn
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15 Jul 2011, 8:07 pm

I have reacted to frustration, anger, overload, usually due to difficulties interracting with people, since I was 11/12 years old.

It isn't due to a need for control, nor attention, but through a sheer sense of being overwhelmed by emotions of anger, frustration and pain, and being unable to make myself understood.

I tend to punch myself on my face and body when I reach this point, and am very ashamed of it.
The self harming is one reason I originally got a diagnosis of bpd, even though my self harm isn't about getting attention at all.

Has anyone else here self harmed?
If so, why?

edit - How do I get it to show a 4th poll option?
I added 4 but it has for some reason omitted the last option on posting and edit gives no option to edit the poll.


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Last edited by Graelwyn on 15 Jul 2011, 8:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SuperTrouper
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15 Jul 2011, 8:12 pm

I could have written that myself, if you changed 11/12 to 2. But I started cutting myself when I was 14 because I saw someone do it and thought it would help. Stupid kid, I was. I haven't done it in ages, years and years.



littlelily613
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15 Jul 2011, 8:43 pm

I self-harm occasionally and have done so ever since before I can remember (but the methods have changed). When I was a toddler and child, I would bang my head against the wall. I bang my head occasionally, but likely not as much as I did then. As a teenager I used to cut. Only a few scars remain, but I used to cut several times a day (not very deeply though--my most noticeable scar is almost 10 years old and created with a butter knife of all things). I also hit myself sometimes, and I have a tendancy to claw myself. My nails are very short, but I do have a couple scars from those small, dull nails as well. I almost always do this sort of thing when I am melting-down. Occasionally I would cut as a teenager just to feel, but mostly it was part of a meltdown. Or sometimes it is to prevent an oncoming meltdown before it gets here. Any visible scar I have (which are not many, but still, they are there) are from meltdown outbursts.


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Graelwyn
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15 Jul 2011, 8:46 pm

I cannot recall if I hurt myself in any way as a child.
I do remember reacting strongly to things, but sadly my memory of a lot of my childhood has gone.


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HoodedShadow
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15 Jul 2011, 8:49 pm

I self-harm when bored (I'm always bored.. :roll: ).

It started from wrists at first but spread to my head and now just few weeks ago started doing it for my back too..

Video of my hands (WARNING: the video contains cuts and bloody areas!) : video


I WANT to stop this!
Any ideas, tips or help? :?

I use my nails to do this, no matter how short I cut them I am still "able" to do it and just can't stop.. OCD?


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15 Jul 2011, 8:59 pm

Does grinding my teeth count? Sometimes when I get angry I grind my teeth so hard that my jaw hurts for a few days. It's a wonder I still have my teeth I do it so often.


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MakaylaTheAspie
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15 Jul 2011, 9:02 pm

Despite all my issues in life, I have managed to not harm myself... intentionally. :lol:


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Graelwyn
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15 Jul 2011, 9:16 pm

I do wonder why it is that some autistics/aspies, get through life, and difficulties, and never have this issue.
I wonder if it is related to abuse being additional to Aspergers/Autism?

Or if it is merely due to differences in emotional regulation ?
I find it frustrating as the rest of the time, I am very much in control of myself.

Once this 'thing' hits, it is like chaos inside.


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boxxarom
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15 Jul 2011, 9:21 pm

I punch/slap myself occasionally. As I'v gotten older Iv been able to control it much better though. Life can get frustrating sometime, I just wish I didn't take everything out on myself :?


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15 Jul 2011, 9:28 pm

I self harm sometimes but out of guilt and frustration. I cut my arms and bang my head against the wall. I also hit myself on the head constantly. I don't want attention for it so I do it in my room. Sometimes it gets worse during psychotic breaks and depressive episodes. I won't get into the reasons why besides what I said already. When I was young I didn't self harm but wanted to.



Graelwyn
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15 Jul 2011, 9:33 pm

boxxarom wrote:
I punch/slap myself occasionally. As I'v gotten older Iv been able to control it much better though. Life can get frustrating sometime, I just wish I didn't take everything out on myself :?


What methods did you use to control it? It can be so difficult when you are so full of these emotions that they overwhelm rationality.


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Fatal-Noogie
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15 Jul 2011, 9:53 pm

Why should I wish myself harm? Haters already wish that for me.


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boxxarom
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15 Jul 2011, 9:55 pm

Same technique I used to control my meltdowns and depression. Exercising! When you exercise endorphins get released into your blood stream, causing an analgesic effect. Overall it will leave you feeling calmer and relaxed through out the day. I just got done running and jump roping about an hour ago, Im VERY relaxed right now :)
Although this doesn't solve the problems causing the frustration. That requires a more specific "on the spot" strategy. (Such as stepping away from the situation.) I know that can be frustrating in itself, but if you can it helps. Unfortunately its socially unacceptable to walk away from people haha
Boxing has also helped. You get the exercise, but it can also be used to vent frustration at the same time. Picking up a Martial Art or fighting sport would be a good idea.


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15 Jul 2011, 9:57 pm

I used to self-harm sometimes. It was actually more of a pain endurance thing I used to do---it left no marks or scars. I did it to relieve tension/stress. I would just get frustrated and would look for an outlet---and that was it. I haven't done this for some time---it was when I was younger.


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Daina
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15 Jul 2011, 9:58 pm

Never intentionally to *hurt* myself. Curiosity, however, did cause more than a few bloody situations. And I was also fascinated with sticking needles through the top layer of skin, but that wasn't really doing any harm. About the only harmful thing I do anymore is that when I'm uncomfortable I tend to scratch my arm or bite the joint in my left thumb.



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15 Jul 2011, 10:47 pm

This may sound weird but I used to stick needles under my fingers as a child. Not due to any trauma I suffered(as far as I know) but because I thought it looked neat.