More autistic around certain people

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I know that many of us feel that we are more comfortable not "masking" so many behaviors when around certain people, but do any of you feel like you might at least semi-consciously avoid masking autistic behaviors because you don't want to feel like you appear to be a--I can't really think of any other way to put it--"contradictory" mixture of sometimes-normal-sometimes-abnormal behaviors? I feel that I really don't try masking a very large majority of symptoms around the few people outside family who know I have AS, but for most people I feel like I try so hard to appear "NT" that, when I feel comfortable around the few people who know that I'm not, I feel like I am a couple of different personalities.

Very wordy and hard to describe, but I don't like it. I feel compelled to sometimes have at least a semi-autistic response when I would have a learned NT response about 95% of the time. It feels like some of the more autistic responses are becoming masked even when I try not to.

Maybe it has quite a bit to do with adolescence, but not completely sure. It just bothers me sometimes.

There are coworkers that I feel more autistic around. I feel uncomfortable and than I clam up. There are others that I'm more open with and I can talk to them about anything.

Just be yourself!

This is normal human behavior. Everyone does this to some extent.

I do this too.

There is no real "me".

I can only be myself at home.... Everywhere else is fake me, particularly at work.

Strangers (including co-workers that I don't really work with, we just work on the same floor for the same organisation) talk to Awkward Aspie, friends and strongly trusted co-workers tend to get Intense Interests Argumentative Pedant Aspie (in as genial a way as possible - really). There are exceptions when a stranger asks me about my work in a way that needs a detailed answer, etc.

This morning, I have to work with the coworker that I feel the most autistic around and my vocal chords are already starting to tighten up.

I'm not so much more Autistic around certain people, but I'm definately more weird around certain people than others.

People who are very judgemental, or bitchy, or very popular or stuck-up sometimes make me feel more socially inadaquate, and the more nervous I get the more the traits show. When I like the person and I know they like me, I feel less nervous and more relaxed, so I can put on a front a little easier.

I suppose I do become a little more Aspie round certain people. When I'm with someone who imakes me feel nervous or even stupid, I talk in a monotone voice, which is not my usual tone otherwise. I hate talking in monotone for too long, but I can't seem to find the courage to lighten up a bit and add ''colour'' to my voice when I'm talking to somebody who's making me feel nervous or small.

I remember when I was about 16 or 17, and I was definitely more autistic with some people than others. I started sixthform and had to spend half the time at a different school- so when I was at the "normal" school, I was far less aspie than at the new one.

I tried to mask my autistic nature with most people at my normal school, except for with my few friends who were weird like me!
At the new school, however, it was really hard (I seemed to get more autistic starting from age 12 to about age 21), and I was doing A Levels in French and German there (BAD choice!). So anyway, my new teachers thought I was really quiet as I had serious problems with my selective mutism for about 18 months starting then so was appalling at communicating. The strange thing is that they never even wondered if I was autistic, although it was really obvious I was then.

So, yes, in some situations I was more autistic, with some people I was less.
And, yes, it was partly because I was a teenager, as the OP suggested- crazy hormones maybe?

Now, I try my best to hide my autistic nature at work, especially when I have a classroom full of children, but I can have problems when dealing with the other staff- I'm either really chatty or really quiet, depending on who it is.

No one see the true me, but me.

My girlfriend gets to see 90% of the real me.


Everyone else gets my best NT impersonation. (Co-workers, acquaintances, etc etc)

My few real "close" friends get about a 50-50 mix of NT masking & real me.


New people or unfamiliar people who I am uncomfortable with get the silent treatment.

I feel more stressed out around certain people and appear less communicative. My face freezes up and I am very terse. I think it's due to stress more than anything. It happens when people are loud and start telling obnoxious jokes and I worry they are going to say mean things or will become unpredictable. I shut down in these situations.