Feeling completely overwhelmed

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I am a nervous wreck, but my way of dealing with adversity and my issues has changed. Rather than trying to do everything that was expected of me out of fear of the consequences, when I'm overwhelmed I simply don't care anymore. I have become very apathetic, even more apathetic than when I was younger and I'm struggling to know why. Perhaps it's become my coping mechanism with dealing with constant anxiety. We live in a world built to suit NT's and we are expected to just fit in.

One things for shure. this will always be a NTs world, so The faster you learn how to deal with it the better off you will be

I have got a high anxiety disorder. Mundane things overwhelm me. It's because I know I look unconfident all the time, no matter how hard I try not to. I just cannot stop the vibes from showing to other people, even though I dress presentably and act normal. Still doesn't seem to work for me.

I am a very nervous wreck. I worry too much of what others think of me, and I am too afraid to stop, because so far I've been making friends a lot more easier than I ever have. I can't help it if I am the type of Aspie to want to have friendships. I don't really have any special interests to focus on, so the next best thing is to try the NT world, which is what I am doing. But nothing stops me from becoming anxious. I just sound unconfident and ''stupid'' all the time. When I go for job interviews, I suddenly put on this monotonous voice, which I cannot seem to break.
I am never the dominent one in a conversation, so I end up keep saying, ''yes'' and ''no'' all the time, without getting a word in to actually speak a sentence (this only occurs when talking to certain people). Some people I can feel more chatty with, but I'm never the one who is mostly talking.

Not only that, I find life too overwhelming. Job-searching is hard and I find that very overwhelming. I keep on backing away from jobs that involve interacting with customers, because I have tried it and have had some unpleasentness, which knocks back my confidence.

The only times when I am actually calm and relaxed is when I am in bed, because I put a film on to watch in bed then go to sleep afterwards. Watching films seems to clear my mind at night.

if anxiety is bothering you that much have you thought about taking medication? if you already havent that is
I also have bad anxiety but i cant be arsed to take anything for a mental problem

Very strong Chamomile tea (4 bags to a cup) is very good at calming anxiety without making you feel stoned. You can buy it in gelcaps online. All natural, no side effects.