I have got a high anxiety disorder. Mundane things overwhelm me. It's because I know I look unconfident all the time, no matter how hard I try not to. I just cannot stop the vibes from showing to other people, even though I dress presentably and act normal. Still doesn't seem to work for me.
I am a very nervous wreck. I worry too much of what others think of me, and I am too afraid to stop, because so far I've been making friends a lot more easier than I ever have. I can't help it if I am the type of Aspie to want to have friendships. I don't really have any special interests to focus on, so the next best thing is to try the NT world, which is what I am doing. But nothing stops me from becoming anxious. I just sound unconfident and ''stupid'' all the time. When I go for job interviews, I suddenly put on this monotonous voice, which I cannot seem to break.
I am never the dominent one in a conversation, so I end up keep saying, ''yes'' and ''no'' all the time, without getting a word in to actually speak a sentence (this only occurs when talking to certain people). Some people I can feel more chatty with, but I'm never the one who is mostly talking.
Not only that, I find life too overwhelming. Job-searching is hard and I find that very overwhelming. I keep on backing away from jobs that involve interacting with customers, because I have tried it and have had some unpleasentness, which knocks back my confidence.
The only times when I am actually calm and relaxed is when I am in bed, because I put a film on to watch in bed then go to sleep afterwards. Watching films seems to clear my mind at night.
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Female