Busy places. Feeling very down.

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I am writing this after a night out last night. It was a friends hen night and a group of us went for a meal and then to a pub and a bar, locally. I was ok-ish at the meal. I only knew a few people and I didn't really mix with anyone else but I coped. The restaurant wasn't that busy.

Then we went to a local pub that I know well, we sat outside so I felt comfortable enough. The tables were well spaced and it wasn't too noisy. My problem came when we headed to a local bar- a much busier and noisier place.

Instantly I felt very uncomfortable and the place was heaving. My friend, who takes great delight in my awkwardness (I am in process of being diagnosed at the moment so nobody is aware- they just think I'm a bit socially strange), dragged me to the bar and started a conversation with some men- telling them I had said things about them so I would be forced to talk to them.

Now I have a massive problem with noisy places- I just get so overwhelmed by the noise from everyone that I am completely unable to hold a conversation with anybody. I can barely even register what is being said to me because all I hear is snippets from nearby conversations. I don't know if this is a common issue or just something odd about me. Needless to say it makes me come across as very strange. People look at me funny because I can't understand them and they have to repeat what they are saying over and over and I get flustered and uncomfortable and just want to leave. Which I did. I just couldn't stand it any more so I left at about 10.30pm. We had been there for just half an hour. I felt awful for going that early but I was just too overwhelmed. I would have been ok in the other pub where it was quieter.

I am a little annoyed with my friend as well I suppose. She is massively outgoing and confident. She knows I have 'issues' socially but she isn't fully aware of what is going on although she does know I am being referred to see someone. She doesn't seem to understand how difficult that sort of situation is for me and she thinks it's funny to see how uncomfortable I get. I am used to people making comments about me and the way I am- another friend was a little bit unkind to me at one point about but she doesn't have any idea what is going on so I suppose she is bound to think I act in a strange way.

Anyway I got home and it was only 11pm and I felt awful on my friend whose hen do it was because I had left early and I felt like this dam thing is ruining my life but at the same time I was relieved to be out of that hell!

For years I never understood why I didn't enjoy going to busy pubs and especially clubs and I would make excuses up to friends and generally avoid going. When I did used to be brave and go I would be called 'boring' and 'miserable' because I just sat uncomfortably and found it hard to join in. I desperately wanted to be able to be the same as everyone else- having fun and a laugh but half the time I couldn't even keep up with the conversation because of other things going on.

I am fed up of people thinking I am boring. I'm not boring at all.

Does anyone else have a similar problem?

I dislike it when people just think that if you're an introvert/ quiet you're automatically strange. It is insulting. When I've tried to explain what a introvert is I say that I prefer talking to people one on one and that too much social interaction makes me tired which is true. There is a article that I read recently that suggests people with Asgerpers have too much empathy. We experience and hear nearly everything which is why some aspies experience being overwhelmed in social situations which leads to a meltdown. There's something about being in familar place that makes me comfortable. When I leave familar places I'm more likely to freak out. Also coming across as strange doesn't help either, having Aspergers doesn't really help when you're trying to be 'normal'. It sucks

i totally understand what your saying i have pretty much all those problems which sucks because im only 20 and what little friends i have are really big into clubbing and nightclubs and i just carnt handle those types of places and when my friends do drag me out like what you said i pick a spot just to sit and my friends will think im not being very fun because im not joining in when i just carnt handle it most of the time i will end up leaving and just go stand out side bymyself for hours untill my friends are done, they dont understand how hard it is.
For me i find the more people there is the harder it is and im ok with loud noise like loud music but when im in an area with lots of people all talking at onse i carnt block the talking out and it usully makes me dizzy because i carnt focus.
it dose upset me a bit to think that my friends see me as boring when it comes to that but in saying that i know they dont understand how hard it is. they expect you to be like them.

I've lost track of the amount of times I get called a bore or miserable which is not true at all- put me in a situation where I feel comfortable with friends and I am quite a good laugh. I generally avoid going to places like last night but as I was on a hen do I was forced to stay with everyone and go with the flow.

Anyway my friend has text today and apologised. We had a little chat- she thinks I'm just shy and that I need more self-confidence. I tried to explain a little bit how noise and bustle makes me feel but I don't think she really understood. She is the complete opposite of me in that sense.

I don't like loud noises generally either, they frighten me a little bit. But in places like bars and clubs I can't filter sounds. So I can see my friends talking but all I can hear is words from other conversations and I can't tune out to them. And then everyone's words just turn into a mass of blurry noise and I can't focus and I feel uncomfortable. I am 27 now and have avoided clubs for most of my life. In fact until recently I hadn't been to a club for years because I find the experience horrid.