FOR THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN HOMESCHOOLED!

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I am still trying to decide what to do for Tenzin's education.

For those who have been homeschooled, please please please weigh in!

He is going into the 2nd Grade. I am completely unsatisfied with the Special Education services in our district. The administrators and teachers just don't get it. The program seems much more geared for behavioral problems than it is for educating someone with autism in an inclusive general education classroom. The instructional assistants (also referred to as paraprofessionals) don't seem to have much training in teaching period, let alone teaching someone with autism. They are generally useless to him. He doesn't need someone sitting next to him for no reason, it's insulting and embarrasing for him! The Gen. Ed. teacher liked him a lot but wouldn't do any basic things for him like make sure that someone was breaking down verbal instructions, or providing visual supports (he's a visual learner) or even a schedule. She told me that she didn't have time for these things but had time to tutor children behind in reading after school!

When he first started Kindergarten he was so excited to go to school. He told me that his favorite thing about school was "the kids". He's very socially inclined, loves people. But all of that changed in 1st grade. He didn't get any support on the playground so he experienced a lot of rejection and who knows what kind of language was used. He really got emotionally hurt and no matter how much I pressed the school I couldn't get him appropriate support.

I've been thinking about homeschooling from the beginning. The problem with homeschooling is the lack of consistency. I can't rely on homeschoolers to provide the kind of routines that school provides and Tenzin needs that to practice things over and over until they click. Yet I can't stand by and watch his self-esteem erode from an ignorant system. So, how do I get my kid what he needs to be educated?

Right now I'm thinking of asking to have him in school part-time, just in the mornings until lunch. Then avoid lunch and recess. Refuse services from IA's unless there are specific reasons for having them. And homeschooling the rest of the subjects that he will miss in school. It sounds like school was only hell and no benefit but he does learn positive skills there, too. I just want to avoid the unsupported parts that hurt more than help him.

So what am I asking? Did your parents find ways to include you in a community while you were homeschooled? Did you find that you had plenty of opportunities to learn and practice social skills or not? Please share your opinion and experiences.

I only spent one year being homeschooled but it was an ok expereince. I didn't miss the social interactions(admittidly I'm probably not the best barometer for that sort of thing) and the curriculum was pretty good. I started the next year with my peers without too much difficutly so I guess it was a good time.

I was not homeschooled. I endured public education. I actually would tend to have a bias against homeschooling (I was overprotected, and most of the people I've personally known who were homeschooled had overprotective parents) - but I still think nothing you can do to an autistic kid is worse than putting him into public school. Well, except concentration camps...

I was home-schooled for about half my school years. My mom was pretty incompetent at it, but for me, that didn't matter. She just gave me the books and told me to learn--but I love learning so much that this actually worked. I'm in college now with a GPA of around 3.5, A's and B's. You could've dumped me in the public library and I'd have educated myself; that's just who I am.

That said, I did feel like I missed out on a few things; in high school, there are usually science labs and computer labs, etc., and I didn't get the chance to do those things. I'm told that a lot of home-schoolers do, by getting together with other home-schoolers and pooling their resources; that, I'd recommend.

As for the "home-school isolation" problem, that's more of a myth than a reality. Most home-schoolers are involved in lots of extracurriculars. Find yourself a local home-school group and go to town.

Your public school system does sound really inadequate. If your boy can't get what he needs there, then it makes a lot of sense to teach him at home.

I was homeschooled from grades 7-9 and 11-12. My Dad worked at the local university and I'd spend all day on the library computers researching whatever my current obsession was.

In terms of socialization, I got plenty of interaction with adults but not other kids. But personally I found that to be a benefit of homeschooling, not a drawback, as it gave me a chance to recover from the bullying I'd gone through and wait until I was good and ready to try socializing with peers again. Grade 10 I actually was fairly well accepted until I started getting overloaded and withdrew from social interaction. Then in university I did great, making several good friends among the disabled students at the university.

It's not that hard to ensure that a homeschooled kid spends time with other kids the same age - just enroll them in extracurricular activities. That has the added advantage that you can pick something the kid is interested in as an activity and expect that the majority of other kids in that program share that interest, thereby giving them some common ground to connect over.

I'd say go for it. My mom didn't home school me until fifth grade because she let the stupid "professionals" convince her I needed "socialization". I have PTSD and SEVERE social anxiety from my "socialization".

I got actual socialization once my mother started homeschooling me. Mostly because I was learning actual social skills as opposed to how despicable I was. I went through hell because of this needed "socialization". I never had a happy childhood and am VERY messed up mentally with PTSD. I've even had at least three nervous breakdowns so far. Some bullying experiences rival that of war veterans. If my parents didn't take me out to home school me when they did, I probably would have committed suicide a long time ago.
"Highest ranked in the state" and stuff like that mean nothing. They aren't an indicator of a good school or good teachers, they are just an indicator that the kids know what blanks to fill in.

About this socialization thing... Someone PLEASE explain to me where in adult life you are going to be locked in a room with 30+ same aged people?

You asked for my advice and this is it.

I wasn't homeschooled, but I know a bunch of people who were. One thing that helped them is that there is a network of parents who homeschool their children in my area, so all the kids grew up in the same homeschool community. All of them seemed to like homeschooling, and almost all of them started attending community college to supplement their classes when they were 16 because their education had progressed more quickly than it would have in a public or private school and their parents had run out of things to teach them. Some of them finished their degrees in community college, some of them applied to college as homeschoolers, and some of them transferred from community college into regular four-year colleges. And all of them did well with it.

A few issues that came up when I asked them how it was were structured time, exercise, and socializing. All of them had different structures in place, but each one had structured time during the week and designated unstructured time. One of the days that was structured was actually their P.E./recess and social day combined. On that day each week, all the homeschoolers in the homeschool group went to the park and played together, and as kids will be kids, they got their exercise by doing so. Some of them said that they didn't get much, but others took on extracurricular sports as they grew older.

My suggestion would be to look for a homeschool group in your area if you're that interested in homeschooling, because the social aspect will obviously be important. And kids in a homeschool school setting generally seem to be more open-minded regarding their peers, because they are not concerned with what the other children around them would think if they are nice to the kid in the corner with the funny hair (or whatever odd trait they want to focus on this week). They can't be concerned if the other children aren't looking.

And it's stuff like this that makes me wish I was homeschooled myself. D=

I wasn't homeschooled, but I am incredibly pro-homeschooling in general and homeschooling for autistic kids in particular.

Personally, there's a question of whether public school caused me to develop social anxiety or whether it was just a misdiagnosis, but if I have social anxiety it was no doubt caused by public schooling. I would go home after school and bed my parents to teach me stuff because the school didn't teach me anything new in math still, and I eventually entirely left the school system for my math education, turning it into a homeschooling sort of one. Those parts of my education were drastically better than the public school parts.


My boyfriend was homeschooled and it worked out amazingly for him. He in particular was unschooled - part of his education was his mom purposefully hiding books she wanted him to read around the house because she knew that he'd search for them and read them after he found them.

For socialization, his family was very much not the stereotypical overprotective family. He has mentioned that he basically spent no evening at home. He spent these evenings singing in a variety of groups, contra dancing, and in scouting. They also found other homeschooling kids and he spent time doing various stuff with other homeschoolers. While he is probably also an aspie (and at the very least BAP), he actually was much better socialized in home schooling than I was in public schools.

From the descriptions you've given I'd very strongly suggest homeschooling your son. I'd look into if there are any homeschooling groups in the area to spend some time with, and having a combination of structured learning time (if you are worried about consistency, schedule, and such) and unschooling. One of the positive traits of aspies is that we tend to be very good at self teaching, even if it is often focused towards special interests. If you have found academic interests, just supply the materials. You have to be careful to not completely neglect other areas, but we thrive when we're given the ability to go far with our interests.

My initial schedule idea would be something like one or two days a week are spent with a homeschooling group, mornings are unschooling, afternoons are structured including physical activities, and evenings are social activities the kid is interested in.


I am incredibly jealous of the people who got to get homeschooled, sure that I would have functioned better in that environment, and have every plan to homeschool any children of mine

I would have liked to be home schooled, but I've since changed my mind. My parents can't teach me what I need to know anymore, and I actually enjoy getting away from them. Homeschooling is great for little kids. While the later years of school are far more rough, for me I think it's worth it. My mom can't teach me Calculus, heck, I've even had to help her with basic algebra sometimes.

Thank you everyone! I very much appreciate your thoughts on this! I can't get enough input....

Since Tenzin isn't an aspie, he's autie, the language barrier is a huge factor as to why school became painful for him. Limited language coupled with sensory issues and not being able to quickly process all the input needed for typical social interaction gets in the way.

And I should say that his language is limited in terms of details but he's capable of putting together complex ideas when pressed but not so much when he isn't comfortable.

Why it's not a snappy decision is the fact that I can't just put books in front of him and have him learn at this point. He needs direction and outside influence. (currently) I know he is capable of learning but he still hasn't awoken to that part of himself. He's also 7. When I was his age, I was curious and motivated to explore and learn. He's different. I see him circling "new things" for a time, then when he's ready he'll develop an interest. Anyway, I don't quite understand my son as a learner yet. What I do know is that he needs direct, clear instruction. Quiet. And time to process. AND a creative approach based on his interests.

I wish that I had the money to start a very small nature-based school for him... Ahhh... one can dream.

I, too, wish that I had had the option of alternative schooling!

I am 16 and have always been homeschooled. It says you live in Seattle, I live near Seattle and I think it's a great place to be homeschooled there are a lot of co-ops and such where normally the parents can be really involved if that's what the kid needs. My mom didn't focus on academics mush till I was about 10, and now I'm mostly on grade level. For social interaction I had lot's of activities such as gymnastics and went on regular hikes with other homeschoolers and for a long time I went a program called wilderness awareness school.

If you have any more specific qusetions just ask.

Seems to me like your boy would do best in a home-school environment all the same--a quiet place where he can be exposed to things at his own speed, and not be forced to go faster than his language processing ability allows him to absorb things.

New things can be really intimidating. They are, to me. That's why I tend to study small areas in-depth rather than get overviews that cover broad areas. Staying in the same area of knowledge is comforting and familiar. It can be easier when you have a procedure for learning new things that you always apply the same way.

One thing I know: If your kid needs peace and quiet and an organized place to learn, he's not going to get it in a public school! See if you can clear out a room to be a classroom--uncluttered, quiet, well-lit without glaring lights or annoying sounds, with a comfortable chair and big table to work at. If he's the active type, enough room to run around or bounce while he learns, or flop into a bean bag. And make sure he knows he can take a break when his brain gets fuzzy.

Does he have an OT? See if you can get the OT (or ST or whatever therapist he's seeing) to teach you the tricks of the autistic-kid-teaching trade. They won't all apply to your particular kid, but it's good to talk to people who have been teaching autistic kids for a while and get some ideas of what to try.