Today I am going to admit I have Autism

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Hi folks,

1. I get anxious with loud noises i.e. bars, parties, TV too loud etc…
2. I hate making appointments or committing to a time slot, it feels so restrictive and weighs on my mind if I do and then I need to get it out of the way as quickly as possible. My partner asks if I want to go do something specific next Tuesday and I just don’t know how to commit to saying yes or no.
3. I am verbose and pedantic and guilty of regularly correcting others grammar.
4. I am single-minded and obsess on my chosen subject, which has changed through time. I have obsessed learning to play the guitar to a high standard self-taught, learning golf in two years to a scratch handicap and now I am into Physics and Math and been told by friends and family not to talk to them about it, as they have no idea what I am talking about and it was boring at school and is boring now!
5. I have a need to be on time very specifically even if I say I will get there around 2.30, I get there at exactly 2.30 and become agitated with anyone who causes me to deviate from my perceived schedule. Any anomalies in my anticipated events schedule strike me as illogical and unnecessary personal selfishness, as I have averaged out most probabilities and the resultant delay is because a person has chosen to step outside these reasonable boundaries for self-indulgent reasons.
6. I feel arrogant saying this but I am smarter than the average bear and most everyday interactions bore me and I cannot be bothered with small talk and my ears only prick up when I hear something of value that I can learn. I learn and rationalise logically at a high level and have given in at 40 to the fact that most other people cannot do this and substitute unbased emotion in place of reason and logic.

There are areas where I seem to have no symptoms at all, as I am very good with eye contact, but only see inefficiency and confusion when trying to hold a conversation with more than two other people and subconsciously withdraw by default.
I am struggling with life in general and am looking to understand my awkwardness and rigid logic thought processes and inability to interact with normal people.
What do you guys recon should I go for a test and will it help?

All the test will do is tell you what's up in your head. The only way it could help you would be to help you understand yourself better. Everyone has quirks, we just have more pronounced and consistant quirks.

Hi there,

As Makayla wrote, all a test will do is confirm what you already know. The only value of a test is if it opens doors for you to get guidance, and that's only if you feel you actually need guidance. I personally got tested because I feel my symptoms are getting in the way of my life, work and happiness. Actually getting the diagnosis gives me the right to get guidance as well as modifications of my work environment to help me cope better.

So if you feel your quirks are getting in the way of a good and happy life, then by all means get tested (officially) and seek help and advice. If you feel your life is good the way it is, getting tested will not change a thing, except that you will know what you have, rather than just suspect it. But that's only if you have an official diagnosis. Some people find it important (me included), others don't.

The test itself has no value. The important thing you have to ask yourself is: what will you do with the result?

Thanks for your info and I think you are right.
I have left a few well paid jobs in the last 15 years and am unemployed and struggling to get an interview as my last job was 2008. I always get bored in my jobs and am not challenged and find dealing with normal people so frustrating as they pick up concepts and ideas so slowly, making a working day as painful as going to the dentist.
I know that the answer is to change and get a job that challenges you but I am 40 and it's a lot harder to do than it is to say and for every sucess story you hear trumpeted there are 10,000 failures.
I was just hoping to hear that somewhere being clever, logical and a fast learner was worth somthing.

P.s. and normal!

Chris

an "admission" is similar to a "confession", and they both point to some sort of guilty origin.

why would you have to "admit" you have autism?

there is no shame in revealing you have autism because even if people "back pedal" and "reassess you", they will still know you are "formidable" to engage in contentious "banter", and they will probably never respond if they are too timid to try and truly challenge you.

even if you are challenged, do not reply until you have slept.

having autism does not mean you are incompetent.

i have autism.
i feel strong and durable.

You're also 40 years old. The Diagnostic Manual is written to help recognize AS in children. Some of those symptoms you think you don't have may have just become masked over the years by unconscious 'coping mechanisms' that you've developed to help you function with apparent normalcy.


Ask your parents if you had eye contact problems when you were a child - if they had to remind you a lot that grownups expected you to look them in the eye as a sign of respect.

I used to think my eye contact was perfectly normal, but after I became aware of my other autistic behaviors, I began to realize that it wasn't like everyone else's. I could look at someone I was talking to, but I never maintained eye contact like they did with each other. I'd look - then glance away, then look back..and end up staring at a spot over their shoulder, or looking at the floor in the corner for the rest of the conversation, because if I kept looking at them, I'd become distracted by their facial features and lose my train of thought, or begin to feel like they were looking into me, trying to pick my brain, or steal my soul.

I was actually shocked to realize that something seemingly so simple that I thought I was doing normally all my life, did not look normal at all to people around me. I was performing a learned facsimile of their behavior and actually doing a rather awkward job of it.