Question about Autism. Pretty new to it.

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Does anyone have a Autism Child who hits a lot? I'm not use to this. Today she got suspended from school for hitting her teacher; again, 8 times. The other day, she left a whopper of a bruise on her mother. She's tried shoving me before.

She has her good days and she has her bad days. The good days, she calm you would never know the difference. Her bad days, she can be brutal.

I thought, I was being nice, catering to her needs, giving her the option of whether or not she wants to stand in the corner, or if she wants to stay in her room, for a half hour. That's only when she hits. Plus, she also loses her internet and games for the half hour.

I can tell she has had, little to no discipline, only by her spoiled actions and screaming rants and punching fits.

Hmm, can you suggest some type of discipline that may work to hopefully get her to stop the hitting. I don't think drugs are the answer. But she doesn't get her refill until tomorrow.

My sister and her daughter just moved in.

And, I'm pretty much new to all this.

Thanks.

She is simply communicating the best way she can, she is not spoilt. Is it nice in fantasy world?
Best thing you can do is to stay away from her until you are taught to communicate in a appropriate manner with her. CBT or ABA are interventions she will need. Oh and you can't cure her no matter how angelic you think you are. follow the professional advice. ignore the behaviour but not the child.

Geez. Give the OP a break. They've stated that they're entirely new to this. They have come here for help to understand what to do, not to get beaten up.

That said, yes, my first instinct is that it is likely the child is trying to communicate the best way she can - if there are good days and bad days you need to figure out what the trigger is for the hitting/punching (what is it that shuts down her ability to communicate in the way that she does on a "good day") and then figure out how that can be avoided (if it can) or what you can do to help her to learn to manage it better.

But we shouldn't forget that actually, some children are not given appropriate discipline and as a result start to learn to behave badly to get what they want because that's how the parents manage them. And the fact that the child is autistic doesn't rule this out as a possibility. We aren't there and we don't see the parenting. So we don't know.

It could even be a combination of both factors.

Rather than take anything away, the best way to change someone's behavior is by positive reinforcement- reward her when she does things right.

Redacted.

Last edited by Willard on 01 Oct 2011, 8:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mainly it's when we ask her to do something. Hmm, maybe I should make like chore chart for her, her mom, and myself. So this way she doesn't think she's the only one doing chores. I try to have us all do it at the same time You ask her to clean her room 10x and she screams, So, I put a box in there, and the paper still on the floor. She gives me the excuse that papers are collectables and can't go in the box. I ask her to just load the dishwasher, her mom does the next night, and I do it the following night. I only ask her to do 1 chore a day. Because, the house turns into a hurricane after she throws everything around, then I make her mom clean her mess. If you ask her to shut off a light, or if you ask her to flush the toilet. Anytime you ask her to do something. She starts the tantrums. You leave her alone. She's fine.

Today what set it off, she thought someone was a friend, the kid wasn't, didn't want to be bothered by her, the teacher told her to leave him alone and to go to the 7th period, she refused and all heck broke loose after that. I tried to explain to her, if he's ignoring you, then he's not your friend. Friends don't ignore friends. It was the best way I could put it.

She was calm when she came home and I helped her with her homework.

Thanks

Last edited by jasmania27 on 30 Sep 2011, 6:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jasmania, you might want to examine the physical environment that the child is in.

there may be specific triggers that are causing the explosive episodes.

for example: i despise carpet. the way it feels to my fingers drives me nuts, especially the way it clings to sand and burrs and food particles. the sound of a vaccuum cleaner also hurts, makes me cringe. Used to give me a headache just hearing a vaccuum for a minute.

so: i almost never clean carpeted areas, and wear shoes when I have to stand on one. junk piles up and i don't want to pick it up.

but: i like hardwood floors, and will happily and repeatedly scrub them, sweep and mop them spotless.

so: maybe there is "something else" that is making the child balk. Maybe it's getting the hands wet, maybe it's the lighting or shadows in the kitchen, or the sound of the faucet or whatever.

and: it probably isn't being-spoiled-and-not-wanting-to-do-chores, so much as it is that the chores are causing the child intense pain. If you can find any chore that the kid likes to do, start from there and examine the environment.

such as: "why is raking leaves ok, but washing dishes produces a violent outburst?"

I take her shopping and I try to do nice things for her but she gets bored really quick. I'll see what SHE wants to do this weekend.

But, isn't the positive re-enforcement saying it's okay to hit the teacher, myself and her mother?

I also want to add she is 16 years old, taller than me and her mother. I'm 4'11 guessing she is like almost 5'9 and she has the mindset of a 5 year old.

Hmm, ok. I'll try that. I'll let her choose what chore she likes. Thanks for the tip.
Her last environment was horrible. I wouldn't want to live there. She's in a very nice suburban place now, with a lot of yard to run and a lot more freedom then the past place. As for the school. I don't know, how that environment was.

Okay, I just asked her. She said that she would clean her room on Saturday, Do the dishes on Sundays and Vacuum the floors Monday Thru Friday. I tried to tell her she only had to choose one thing. But she keeps bringing up her old place. So, I'm guessing that's where she's getting that schedule from.


Only have to worry about the school now.

Last edited by jasmania27 on 30 Sep 2011, 6:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

FYI, by "environment" i meant the physical specifics, not the general emotional health of the area.

Me, I love living in slums. Plastic suburban people with shiny new cars and disposable stuff scare the crap out of me and drive me into a panic. Crumbling brick, faded peeling paint and rusty girders are much more comforting environment for me. Softer colors, less hurtful than those flashy suburbs with all their advertising.

lol. It's not that bad. I'll never be plastic Barbie BTW. HAHA

Positive reinforcement isn't used when they do something wrong, such as hitting you, her teacher, or her mother- It's used when she has behaved. My sister gets stickers for good behaviour and out of the norm chores and such, when she gets a certain amount of stickers, she gets a small toy or treat, but she can also lose stickers if she suddenly does something very against the rules. Her favourite line when she's taking a fit after losing a sticker is "I don't like consequences!!" Because we've explained to her that her actions have consequences. Her violent outbursts used to be from over stimulation and we'd have to restrain her because she was a threat to herself and others, but now she can typically calm herself down when we can get her into her room. They're also a lot less now. I know when I have my meltdowns I can't rationalize DURING a melt down, but I've found that when I'm calm and my Mum or whoever I'm with who is used to me talks to me about what happened and explains things, I'm much more able to understand it. It seems the same with my sister (I have asperger's, we're positive she's a little lower down on the autism spectrum)

Just throwing things out there, hope it helps!

I didn't say to reward her when she hits. I said to reward her when she does things RIGHT.

First, you teach her a replacement behavior, such as punching her pillow.

Then, every time she hits, you redirect her to punch her pillow. Over and over.

When she punches the pillow without hitting, you reward her (sticker on a chart, for example, and 10 stickers gets her whatever little reward she wants). Again- over and over.

Eventually, she'll go to the pillow more and more. And then you start to fade the rewards, slowly.

It's too late.

I received a hearing notification from the school. 2 in one day in the first week. That is a record. Assault charges. II and III. I have no clue what to expect. III, their going to lock her up for good. She threw it away like it nothing. Like it didn't deal with her. But, for 10 even a 15 years with mindset set of 5, you would think they were prepared? Rather, than the then later. I live near two high schools of the age. But, she went to that specific high school because I was under the impression they could teach her something. It's 20 minutes out the way and with a 2 hour bus drive in the process. And, They can't even know her level education from her past school??? I don't know. After everything I deal with , with college. should be no different. Scared about the meeting though. I've Never to been too one. Her Mom is a blamer, if she hears, Than your a blamer. *get the drift*

2 crazy people I can deal with. The hitting. I can't. I told the sheriff to lock her up.

hurray for exclusion the NT way, woo woo there gonna put us all away.

I don't suppose you ever bothered to figure out whether she is capable of cleaning a room to begin with? I wasn't. Not until my mid-teens. And I get called "high-functioning" all the time, and live on my own without any aide, so it's not like cleaning a room is such a simple thing that only somebody who's profoundly autistic could ever have any trouble with it. Trying to follow an instruction that is so vague as "clean your room" is just a recipe for mental breakdown and blue-screen when you are autistic. It's like somebody walked up to you and handed you a college calculus test and said, "Here, finish this. You've got a half-hour," and then ignored you when you said you hadn't taken calculus and you couldn't do this yet, and got angry at you for being rebellious because that's the only possible reason that someone like you, who can cook spaghetti and drive a car, would ever "refuse" to do calculus, which is "obviously" a simple task that anybody at your level of functioning could accomplish.

It's probably a ridiculous example, but do you get what I mean? Meltdowns are just very likely when you're asked to do something overwhelming, something you can only do on your best days when you're thinking the most effectively, or when somebody stands there and tells you every step. You can't figure out where to start, you get frustrated, you can't even express what the problem is, so you get mad and you start crying, and then somebody gets angry at you and tells you to stop crying and start working, and that's just the last straw because now you have to try to figure out their voice and words, and their loud voice grates like fingernails on a chalkboard, and that's just enough to push you into total overload... Wham. Meltdown.

I wrote about this on my blog, explaining how I finally learned how to clean a room--
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com/48979.html