Anxiety over unfinished tasks?

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Do you get abnormally anxious about the stuff you have to do?

Just that I get this a lot - a very uneasy feeling whenever I think about the things I have to do, and I was wondering if it's an Aspie thing. I thought it could be something to do with perfectionism....the idea of anything in the in-tray that I haven't yet cleared worries me. I spend a lot of time reassuring myself that it's not the end of the world if this or that doesn't get done, that deadlines aren't usually set in stone, etc., but I never seem to take that message on board without a lot of deliberate reinforcement. Consciously I know that unfinished work shouldn't bother me, but still my anxiety department keeps sounding off.

Or is it more likely to be an obsessive-compulsive disorder? And is there a cure?

My husband is like this. If there is anything at all that needs to be done ever (even if it has a "due date" of a month from now) he cannot relax or enjoy himself at all.

And it is nearly impossible to interrupt him when he's in the middle of something without him melting down.

I don't know if it's the same but I've been a bit like this in the past but mine was mostly rooted in guilt. (eg I have to clean the house because otherwise I am forced to define myself as a slob and I feel very bad about it) I've made a ton of progress in the guilt department in the past couple of years and I don't do so many things from guilt anymore.

I'm like this too. If I'm interrupted during my specials activities, I become very irritated and I absolutely need to take one's anger out on something, because I can't finish my activity. If I don't finish something, I'll think "I have to finish it..." all the day. But I don't know if it's an Aspie thing.

That sounds like me...is he an Aspie?

I have trouble knowing if mine is down to guilt or not. In the workplace it's felt more like paranoia, though I read of one Aspie who believed (apparently through black-and-white thinking and perfectionism) that he was risking the sack by arriving 5 minutes late for work, and that sounded exactly like me. The story was part of a document describing typical Aspie behaviour.

I do tend to feel bad about myself for not keeping the house tidier.....wasn't such a problem when I had no tidy friends, but after exposure to a few more fussy individuals I've started to dislike myself for not doing better. But that's a task that I really have let slide, because I can't see a way of getting it all done (executive disfunction)......there are lots of other things that I do get done, in a timely manner, yet until I begin, I feel that I won't, and the task feels impossible but essential, which of course feels very uncomfortable.


I hate to break off things too, unless it's a "natural break," and even then I'm tempted to complete the whole project in one session. Even if I wasn't enjoying what I was doing. Because (I think) it will mean I have another damned task to remember to come back to, and my memory isn't good, so I might forget, and it won't be easy to re-start, and nobody will understand that, and anyway I don't want to think that there's something I've left undone. Sometimes I wonder if my school years conditioned me, because there were so many times when I was thinking "Omigod I haven't done my essay!" and the consequenses were quite bad - we could get corporal punishment for that, and there were lots of scare stories about what happened to boys who didn't pass their exams and find white-collar jobs.

Yes my husband is an aspie.

And I relate to everything you said about housework I have gotten so much better about most of my difficulties within the past 2 years.. I need to start a thread about this actually because I'm unsure of what it means... but I could have related much better to your issues a few years ago.

Oh yes, all the time! (Initiating phone calls are just the worst for me.) However, I know a lot of people who are NTs that also have high anxiety.

I think it's maybe the degree it can grip me, or paralyze my mind and I know it has to do with the co morbid ADD that I'm diagnosed with ... I can't seem to set aside (mentally) those things that don't need attention today.

My mind is like a snow globe, all the events, thoughts, emotions and responsibilities are on separate scraps of papers flying around together with no regards to importance or logical timeline.

I have to have a very particular set of organizing tasks in place (whatever particular system I'm obsessing on at present), for me to know that a particular event or task doesn't need to be dealt with today - my mind still interrupts me, but I can look at my planner page - and refer to the fact that I HAVE scheduled that task to be worked on.

It's all those other fuzzy things that don't have a particular scheduled appointment that I procrastinate on and suffer great deal of anxiety over.

I relate to alot of things here. Problem is, like the husband in the second post, I meltdown if I'm interupted but I have to be interupted as I'm a single mum and I have to surpress meltdowns otherwise I'd scare my Son. This is exhausting and I often need rest time which just exaserbates the problem, that there is only so much time in the day!

I would appreciate the sharing of stategies (as in the post above). I have Googled "Organisation for aspergers" and "cleaning for aspergers" but I don't get any of the information I require. So strategies ie planning, stress relief, etc, etc, would be much appreciated here!

I go to college, have my own business and am looking for part-time employed work as well as being a sole parent, so I can only see things getting worse if they don't get better!

I'm a third of the way through reading Aspergers Sydrome and Anxiety by Nick Dubbin.

I have meltdowns when my pattern is interrupted too. Without going into alot of it, separating from my (newly
Dx) Aspie husband (in-house) has been a tremendous help - in having my own space (bedroom) to get calm and take better care of myself.

My husband isn't around much, so I AM interrupted alot, this morning my high school daughter missed the bus - boy she got a lecture on the way to school!

The other thing which may or may not generate a meltdown is if anyone messes with my stuff: takes scissors, disrupts pile on my desk, hangs up the computer and doesn't either reboot or ask me to, that type of stuff - if I have had to repeat myself three or four times, I will pop. If you hear me starting to TALK.STACATTO.I.AM.READY.TO.POP. Where just getting back to where i can start something has exhausted me.

now this is bugging me ... I can't seem to figure out how to put multiple quote boxes within the same post.

Yep I do! I've got really bad anxiety and I am having talk therapy to deal with it, which is starting to work and I'm starting to get it under control. It was getting so bad with me I was having anxiety attacks thinking about getting out of bed in a morning. It was pretty much taking over my life!! ! lol

I don't think there is a cure your always going to have it, but you can control it so it doesn't take over your life lol.

Abnormal anxiety can also a symptom of aspergers so i'm told. I've not been fully diagnosed yet but I've been told I fit in the aspergers bracket because one of my many symptoms is bad abnormal anxiety.

I have not found anything in regards to organizing tips for Aspies either ... I'm only seven months into this discovery, but most of the books and stuff I've read is describing Aspies from the outside in (behavior) rather than from the inside out - if that makes any sense.

I have spent a good deal of time designing my own planner pages based on how my thought process works, the way my brain notices differences, how I NEED to categorize things (like color coding my kids/husband/myself), etc. and I have to stick to this system. I have also found more useful org. info in books about ADD, which may or may not help you.

Here's ONE title: "ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize your Life" that I really really like. It's got line borders on the right side of the pages, headings are block styles, little cartoon bubbles, I have no idea if it's all that revolutionary, but I cannot and will not try to read an organizing book that is just text. Will not try, cannot succeed.




You have alot going on! Not sure how old your kid/s is/are, but I keep wondering if you at least color code yourself? I use gmail, the google calendars - I LOVE the way you can click one on or off, so I keep five calendars defined: me, my three teens (ooops, one just turned 20), and I can view and add things to husband's. I can click to view his and then click off...same for boys - one is away at college, but whenever I am missing him, I click his calendar ON to see what he's up to I keep one other one for MEALS, which helps me repeat things we like to repeat.



this sounds good, I'm going to see if it's available at my local library.

yay me! figured out the multiple quote bubbles! a little labor intensive. that.

I hate loose ends when I'm doing jobs.
For me it's worst when I'm tidying.
I start to do one room but see something out of place elsewhere and can't help doing that job first.
I end up randomly flitting from room to room doing a little here and a little there instead of concentrating in one place.

I get very anxious I must finish and I can't concentrate on anything else until I am done-it consumes me.

I worry about doing things in time e.g. if I had to leave the house at a certain time to catch a bus, to catch a train to get to another town and then rely on getting a taxi to an interview. I see myself stuck at a station trapped after missing the train and missing the interview. I can't relax until I am at the reception of the building on time - I have got nearly there and got lost before!

If I am booked onto a fitness class at 5 I can't relax until I have left the house on time and it is at the back of my mind all day.

YES! Me too ... I know what to do, most of the time ... it's the actioning - verbing my life ... and merging different moving streams of multiple projects at the same time. Especially when it has to do with things others are relying on me for.

This afternoon I need to get daughter to a pasta-feed before her swim meet - restaurant is 20 minutes from here, but, what's the traffic going to be like...is padding time by 10 minutes enough? And. Will I be back from my therapy by then? And. Before that I need to run to the bank. And.

Sometimes I think I need a But-First list
I need to drop the box off at the hazardous site. But first, I need to load it in the car.
I need to go to the bank. But first need to write out the check. But first, I need to get online to see the bank balance.
I need to take the harddrive out of the laptop. But first, I need to google search to see how to do this!
I need to start dinner in the crockpot. But first, I need to get the meat out of the freezer.

Thnaks for your replies everybody.

Good to know it's not just me who has these problems.

I have a really hard time with getting anxious when I cant see how something will turn out, which makes completing all the steps I need to do to complete the task hard to do. Stress (e.g. from bad bosses, weird smelling coworkers, too much/too little socializing etc) makes everything worse and my ability to get work done gets trashed and I get more stressed out; perpetuating the downward spiral.

I like the But First list idea. It gives you the end task and breaks down those tasks into small steps.