Just a question from a special education teacher

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I am a special education teacher who would like to get some feedback from people on the autism spectrum. Is their anything your teachers or parents did that gave you confidence to speak up about your wants/needs in social situations (self-advocacy) ? Were they helpful or do you think they were more critical of you?

Are you sure you're a teacher? I don't mean to be rude, but you've used 'their' where you should have used 'there'.
Agh, I'm sorry. It's a simple mistake. I'll shut up.

you know that a lot of people on this forum do not speak english as their native language.

I know... I'm such a jerk!

No I cant think of anything they might have done to encourage me. I encouraged myself to do it.

I wasn't diagnosed, so my parents and teachers didn't treat me differently. I was encouraged to act the way a person should act, and my differences and difficulties were attributed to me being spoiled, rude, etc. My social anxiety was seen in the same light. Gradually, I taught myself how to speak and when to speak, and when to shut up (which was a major problem for me). In fact, my mother thought I was so rude she encouraged me to speak about my needs LESS and concentrate on what others want. This was a bad advice because it made it difficult for me to express my needs and it made me feel bad about wanting for my needs to be met. It made me become a doormat in social situations, a person who never says no. This was also a problem in romantic situations and dating - most of the guys treated me like a doormat because I didn't know how to say no. I didn't even think I have a right to say no. (I'm not talking about sexual situations but the regular situations in which you are treated like a doormat because you don't know how to say no. I once walked for miles to get my boyfriend dinner. And the whole time, he was cheating on me). That sort of thins.

Sorry if this doesn't answer your question. In short, I was discouraged to speak about my wants and needs in social situations.

I went to a mainstream school that had many kids with varying degrees of ASDs for some reason. There were lots of little tricks used. Some kids carried cards to show teachers so that they might be excused from class if they were feeling overwhelmed. Some had a codeword that they would say to convey that they were upset and needed a break when they couldn't verbalise as much. There was also an room where they would go at recess to get some peace and quiet.

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http://defeatingthedoginthedaytime.blogspot.com/

the trials and tribulations of a girl pretending to be normal

I wasn't diagnosed until I was thirty one, but I remember what it was like. You just have to give them more space. I know it's not fair to the other kids, but riding us makes us shut down.

Put them into social situations, but don't force them into them. If they put up resistance back off and let them cool down. You might cause a panic attack, tic or seizure if you don't and remember just because you can't see that that is what is happening doesn't mean that it is not happening. If it is possible, they'll get things on their own.

Remember everything new is stressful to us and every social interaction is new, but most of us find ways to cope with it that aren't destructive. Just don't add more to that stress than you have to. There is nothing that you can do to make things better other than not give them more stress.

If you try to correct kids that are picking on them then you are drawing more unwanted attention to them and giving them more stress. I'm not saying don't intervene, but don't let them know that you did. We are often smarter than most people and more observant. Unless you are very very careful we will probably know that you've intervened. If we do then we won't trust you anymore, if you don't intervene and it continues we will lose hope and stop paying attention in class because we are worried about what the other kids are thinking or saying about us.

I know that this is a lot of rules. If you have a more specific question feel free to ask me.

I don't have any special education classes anymore (being a mild case), but I remember being put in small social scenarios to help increase small talk. My teachers also said this to me: "You may have a disability, but you are in no way whatsoever incapable of incredible things."

It certainly worked for me, but everyone is different.

I definitely agree. Encouragement is key, but don't cross the line between encouraging and patronizing.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers in 2010 at age 40 but I was misdiagnosed with ADHD at age 5 in 1975 so they dumped in special education from 1975-1985. Durring my evaluation for Aspergers they found no signs of learning disabilities. I had a slew of bad, mediocre, and good teachers. The good teachers worked as regular teachers a few years who went into special education. The bad teachers seemed to be there for a paycheck. They seemed to be impatient not the type of people to be around children let a lone ones needing special education. The mediocre ones just had no skills what so ever they were boring with no personality. They could not keep everyone's attention so I spent a lot time day dreaming while the other kids ran around like a pack of savages.

The Bad Teacher Experiences
In second grade I had a teacher who did not like my rocking (which is a form of stimming for autistic people) so she tried various methods to get me to quit like tying me to my chair. She eventually got me to quit by slamming a large dictionary against my desk startling me everytime I rocked.

I had a teacher who would grab me by the chin to force eye contact with me. Her forcing me to make eye contact made me loose all consentration. I was so upset by her forcing me to stare into eyes that I could not really do anything afterwords.

I also had a teacher who would put her arm around me even though I would ask her to quit I do not like to be touched she did not know how bad this made me feel. I would have rathered her to kick me then touch me the pain would be over in a few seconds but the touch would make me feel horrible for hours.

When I was in 10th grade I had a teacher who would always hover over me. We had desks that were conected to the chairs so I felt like I was trapped with no way to escape. I had to scream into her face to get her to quit doing it. I had to make her afraid of me to get some relief.

I can't count the times I asked a teacher not to touch me, don't force eye contact, don't stand too close to me, and just to leave me alone but they knew best and did it anyways. I did my best to m ake these teacher's lives a living hell. I could not consentrate because of their actions.

The Good Teacher Experiences

Being a good special education teacher is something that you you'll know you are by the how well the students pay attention. The bad teachers will have a chaotic classroom with a lot fighting and disobiedience. The mediocre teacher will have a lot of kids staring off into space.

If you can't hold their attention or keep control of the class then quit, you are doing the special education students a diservice. Like I said I had plenty of bad special education teachers having learned nothing under their teaching practices I feel I have been cheated out of a proper education.