Ideal location for a very autistic person to grow?

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Hello,

My brother is nineteen and autistic. He speaks little, is hyperactive, has OCD, and apparently has the mental capabilities of an eight-year old (this was the conclusion of some psychiatric test he was given). I also have autistic qualities, but do not have the limitations my brother does. My brother lives with our mother, who spends a lot of her time teaching him. My mother has spent a lot of time in conflict with school authorities with regards to the SPED program, and my brother has been moved from program to program in various towns-- some private, some public. This struggle has taken a huge toll on my mother, not to mention my brother.

I'm looking for a place where my brother can gradually learn to be self-dependent. I'm not talking about a program so much as a community (a town or city) where my family can be at home, and which is friendly towards autistic people and people with disabilities. Do any of you have thoughts, or would like to share your experiences?