Special Ed/IEP input

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Note to moderators: If you think this is better placed in the School and College forum, that would be fine with me. I would like, if it is moved, for a "moved" link to be left behind here if possible since I am looking for input from as many as possible. Thanks.

This is for anyone who either is in, or has been in special Ed, with IEP's. I'm in the states, but for the kind of thing I'm looking for, it doesn't really matter where you are from.

Would you be willing to share your experiences with the Special Ed process? I'm looking for both pros and cons here. I have three kids in Special Ed with IEP's and have had both good and bad experiences. The good has been marginal successes, but the bad has been extremely frustrating. I've found inconsistent approaches from school to school (within the same district). Some educators have willingly admitted they needed more training in Autism, and have gotten it, while on the opposite extreme some seem not to act as though they don't understand Autism one bit, yet act as if they know what's best, ignoring every piece of the most important advice my wife and I have offered.

This is just our own narrow experience though, and I've had some tendencies to feel as though if it's like this here, it may be like this in many other places too. I want to hear about your experiences to hopefully gain a wider perspective of what's going on elsewhere with Special Ed.

What are your experiences?

Mostly good? Mostly negative? Balanced? How so? Can you give me some examples?

What kind of special training classes have you had, if any? (Pragmatic Language, Speech or Occupational therapy, for examples, or any others related specifically to Autism) Did any of them help? What did you learn, if anything?

What were your impressions of the Special Ed staff? Do, or did, you feel they truly understood Autism (you)? Did you feel you were treated fairly and helpfully by them?

How about the rest of your teachers? Were (or are) they "on board" with your IEP needs? Do you feel they honored your IEP accommodations?

Anything else you'd like to share (including rants and/or high praise)?

Thanks in advance.

I have an IEP, but in it's current form it does nothing except be an IEP. It was active for me back when I was in 4-7th grade. I wasn't in Special Ed per say, but I while in 4th grade I wasn't in any English class except the added on Gifted English Enrichment our district had, and during the normal English class I was sent to the corner of the Special English Class and left to my own devices, as I wasn't actually a part of the class. In the fifth grade I was sent to a different school which had a program for kids with AS (there were two other boys in it in my grade level, and I was a lot better off than both of them, though I was also probably the stubbornest). I was in normal classes with gifted enrichment at first, but eventually I dropped out of English Class again because I refused to do the work as I found doing all the writing too physically strenuous and redundant, and halfway through the year I expressed my interest to learn Algebra and after they tested me and found I had extraordinary mathmetical talent I started an online Algebra class. 6th grade began middle school, and I went to the middle school that offered Geometry and Social Skills. As it wasn't the designated school for where I lived I had to ride one of the short buses ( this school was an ordinary middle school, but it housed the districts entire Special Ed program for middle school), and I will refuse to speak more of my experience on that bus than I need to. As for the skills classes, I hated them because I found them embarrassing, they took up an elective, and when I didn't find it to be the easiest class it was the only class I ever found to be hard. Being at that Middle school also meant I was no longer with my older brother, and I always looked up to him so that was stressful for me (for one year all 6 of the children in my family were in different schools/educational programs). However, I do believe that the classes did help me quite, and I should have been less stubborn while I was there, I might be even better off than I am now if I was less resistant. The teacher was also one of the nicest yet firmest and overall best teachers I've ever had, and I feel that I owe her something, I was closer to her than all the other teachers I've had. Halfway through the 7th grade she said I was now good enough to graduate from the classes, and for the second half the semester I had an elective in it's place (I've taken health far more often than most people as an accidental result of conflicts between scheduling and differences between school districts, but I'm ok with that as human anatomy is one of my special interests. )
In the eighth grade I moved to Northern Virginia, where I think my IEP had me meet with the councilor every so often, or she would visit me. During that year was the first time I remember attending one of my IEP meetings. In the 9th grade I moved to Brazil and I was more or less untouched by any form of Special Education (being the only Freshman in AP Calculus doesn't count), but once I did meet with the councilor because I sometimes talked to myself during math tests, but I could control myself I tried. I had an IEP meeting after my final final exam and the conclusion was that I was doing great at school and I wasn't sticking out in a bad way, but I needed to work on my time-based organizational skills. I'm now in the 10th grade, and nothing has happened so far.

I'd like to point out that I'm the only person in my family who has been diagnosed with anything (unless my parents haven't told me something or I'm just oblivious), but pretty much my entire family shows many aspie traits of various, but overall mild, severity, and one oft sisters was homeschooled for a year and a half as she couldn't work with her teacher, and my younger brother had speech therapy for awhile ( I think I was probably just like him personality wise at his age. )

My IEP was made in 6th grade, and remains active to this day with a huge revision. At first I thought it was a little bit humiliating, but then I proved that I had far better reading, writing, and math skills than my peers in the Special Ed class. So then it was modified to provide a quiet place for me when I am struggling or overloaded. I'm currently immersed in General Education classes.

I think I had one of those rooms at one point, not sure when.

It seems that most of the people here where diagnosised too late to get an IEP, but I know there are a few others who had them, or were at least in special Ed, from reading a few other threads, particulary one I saw a few weeks ago about whether or not all aspies hate school. I don't want to double post or bump, but the OPer hasn't responded yet, and I really want to read some other peoples experiences.

I was on the IEP since preschool. I went to a special school (ran by the school district) for kids with development delays when I was 3-5 and I was in a classroom with high functioning kids. I was the only one mute then and then I started talking and I was very hard to understand because I couldn't have conversations with people and I left endings and beginnings off of words.

Then when I was six and seven, I was placed in a special ed classroom full time and it held me back. The kids in there were all over, high and low functioning and I learned how to act more disabled there so I screamed there and did more odd behaviors and made weird sounds there because it was school behavior. Plus they gave me the same work over and over and never taught me anything normal kids learn. So I was behind in education. Back then they placed all kids with disabilities in one class before inclusion came out. All I learned in that class was my address and how to spell my last name and learned to add and subtract and learned sounds. We also went to the OT room once a week and in music they would come to the music room and do fun activities in there with us on Wednesdays when I was six. Sometimes the speech teacher come to our room and do activities with us.

Then in regular ed, my parents always had to fight them to get them to follow my IEP and I had to go to special ed to catch up in my education. My mom says they were just too lazy to do it so she and dad always had to fight them. I was lucky I had good teachers three years in a row. But in 6th grade, the teacher I had wasn't good and then I was moved to another classroom and the teacher was better but the student teacher was bad because she always lost our school work and I would refuse to do it again and mom had to fight to make me do it and then she started making copies of it so my meltdowns would end and the teacher was boring because she go bla bla bla and students get bored so they misbehave. I also seemed to get treated different because I was on the IEP. The staff made a huge fuss about me and ignore what the other kids do and would act like minor things I did were big things.
The school had me diagnosed with ADD, cluttering, dyspraxia, sensory processing disorder, they suspected OCD, language processing disorder, and they said I had poor social skills. But they never suspected AS. Only my speech therapist did. The school even said I had behavior problems but my mom says I didn't have them. I wonder if she is just being politically correct because parents tend to view their kids different so they may not see their kid as having behavior problems. I did see a OT teacher when I was in 6th grade but I didn't get along with her nor with the new speech teacher so my mother halted those therapies in school for me and I only saw a private OT teacher until we moved to Montana.

In middle school, the staff was better but they exclude me from activities by not having me know about them. I did see a speech therapist when I was 14 and then it was figured out it wasn't needed so I stopped seeing her. I did see a school counselor from the ages of 13 all the way through 16 because he wasn't a good one.

In high school, the teachers tried setting limitations on me by trying to talk me out of things like driver's ed or Spanish or drama and telling me working in fast food would be too much for me. My aid didn't think I would be able to drive and she seemed too over protective of me and the special ed teachers and her thought I shouldn't be in drama. My resource room (PC term for special ed) teacher used to tell me things like if I can't get along with people, how am I going to have a job and live on my own. Also the fact I fall asleep in class if I had nothing to do because they wouldn't let me play my Gameboy or listen to music or be on the computer or even pace so I fall asleep and they tell me if I can't stay away, how am I going to have a job because I can't sleep on the job. I don't think they understood that when you are working, you are always busy and on your feet so you can't get tired from boredom. They also didn't understand my pacing but yet didn't like it when I fell asleep when they saw what happens when I can't do it.


The good parts about being on the IEP was I was not sent to the office for acting out in class, instead I was sent to the resource room, my work got modified, I was given a different book to read for English when we all be assigned books to read so while there were certain books to choose from, I got to pick a different book I wanted that wasn't the teacher's choice. I had an aid with me in every class until I was 17.


In elementary school I don't know what accommodations were given to me, I was sent to the library in 4th grade for a break, in third grade, I listened to some music on my head phones. Back then I was just pushing things away to be normal so I wouldn't get teased in school. In 4th grade I decided no more. Then in 7th grade I accepted help again when I saw many other kids were getting help. Before I was getting bad grades and failing because I wasn't doing my schoolwork and I kept forgetting. I would try and do my school work but I would fail to finish it because it was too hard. Plus I forget to do some assignments. Then when I was having problems in my new school with kids, I was placed in the resource room away from the other kids and I was finally given help with my work. I even accepted the aid too finally because I felt safer. Then in high school I was only in there for two courses.


Of course I didn't know anything about the IEP until I was 15. I never knew I was on it until then. before, I don't think I ever went to any of the meetings. But when i think about it, i think I may have been there because I remember in elementary school, I would stay after school occasionally because my parents were coming to talk to the teacher and they would talk and I would either be doing whatever I wanted. I just assumed it was a meeting so now I realize it may have been an IEP meeting.

Well, in middle school, I was special ed for a little bit. Before middle school, I was in Christian school, and entire grades were 20 people or less, and teachers would devote as much individual time as you needed if you actually accepted it, so I never had problems ever academically. Socially, not too bad, either. 7th grade was my first year in public school, and went well except for one rumor that started about me really late in the year.

I refused to go to school because I was stressed, and I was bullied, but at the time, I didn't want to say who, and the problem was too that most was really subtle stuff. I ended up sorta "melting down" in 8th grade after a rumor was started about me in 7th, that and I was moving, so I actually really wanted to move to the other place and start fresh. Problem was, the move didn't happen as quickly as planned. I really wanted to start fresh and move, but by the time we were moved, it was like March, and there were only a few months to the school year. So, even when I moved, I couldn't escape my old school, the school ended up letting me stay out the year as I moved so late. I ended up just shutting down during that year, and because my mother never called me in correctly, I got charged with truancy and had to go to court and be on probation for it in 8th grade. Oh, during all this time, I got diagnosed with "depression" and "anxiety." The A word was never mentioned ever, nor NVLD. So, my school just basically said "he's weird, we don't know why" on the little thing. They said depression and anxiety for the official reasons.

So already, that sounds terribly negative. However, as far as the special ed I got went, well, the guy in 8th grade I had for special ed was not like, a bad guy. He didn't do much to give me more confidence, but he didn't like, completely destroy it. He was a relatively nice guy I guess. It wasn't like, helpful, per se, but it kept me away from all the kids seemingly out to destroy me. So that part was good. That special ed was 1:1, and occasionally, it'd be like, 2-3 on 1. So not bad.

High school, on the other hand, COMPLETELY terrible and worthless. Special Ed was just used to house all the kids who did drugs, were wannabe gangbangers, and then there were a few random "weird" people there. Basically, it was hell. I ended up being truant there, as I was learning absolutely nothing everyday and just felt I was getting dumber and was around all kinds of dumb people with zero desire to learn at all. I just HATED school, just completely hated it, special ed made me ostracized like hell when I was at, say, lunch, or gym, with the rest of the students. I wanted to actually be in mainstream classes, as for some of the mainstream classes, I was smart enough for AP, but they wouldn't let me be in mainstream at all. Nobody cared about my opinions at all, and the only thing I saw I could do as a way out was to not go to school.

Then after going to court and being threatened with 18 months in a residential (which is basically juvie) I finally started to go to school regularly. However, after getting the s**t beat out of me like that, I just stopped caring completely about school. I had no allusions of going to school and learning anything, or having anything worthwhile happen in school. I just knew I was legally required to go. So, I did the bare minimum of going to school. I didn't bring books, didn't most days bring even a pencil with me, and school just was a complete joke. I didn't care at all. I was sarcastic like hell at everything in class, and I'd show up to school at like 9:30-10AM when school started at 7:45. I failed classes by doing that, but again, didn't care. Why should I? I sorta became a complete nihilist at that point. Nobody listened to me, nobody cared, and I decided since nobody else cared about what I thought, I wouldn't care anymore either. After that, in 10th grade, some random druggie wannabe gangsta kid robbed me for fireworks and I fought back, and the kids got charged with nothing, and I ended up going to jail over it and being on probation and all kinds of fun stuff, not to mention being expelled from school. So didn't go well, not at all.

The phrase that can describe what happened to me best in special ed in 9th grade was from 1984.

I remember a teacher I had in SPED, she made a remark to me that I'll always remember "You just won't play the game, will you?"

So, to put it shortly, without me going all super autobiographical like I just did, special ed was more or less terrible for me. If you're looking at it for your child, it's good if he has a teacher that cares, and it's like 1:1 or something similar. Or, conversely, just putting him in all mainstream classes just with modifications is good, too. But, if it's like my high school, and a big program like that, it will be likely be worse for him than putting him in the ocean of high school. At least high school is an ocean, in SPED, you're a goldfish in a small pond full of sharks. That, and just listen to your kid, if your kid can write a damned paper about how school is bad, etc (like I did) and why he doesn't like it, why he can't learn, LISTEN to him. As we've seen on this board recently, tons of bullying by teachers is happening in SPED programs across the country. At this point, public education is just completely broken, I'd recommend any parent that can just homeschool their child.

OH! For my IEP meetings, I told them exactly what I thought, that I wanted to be in mainstream classes, that SPED was impossible to learn in, etc, and they didn't listen. I think I might have just started laughing at them in the meeting because of how idiotic I thought it was. It got to the point I just told them "Do whatever you want, you're gonna do whatever you want regardless of what I say anyway."

i dont realy know what you mean exactly.
if you mean being in the special needs/special education department of school i havent been there.
my school didnt care about my autism they just kept my in odinary school lessons.
i was suspended at lest 7 times in my first year of high school because of bulying and meltdowns that they didnt understand. i was suspended many more times in the other 2 years of high school but i lost track ages ago. they stoped me from going because they couldnt handle my behavior, neither could the local college.