Coping with Isolation

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How do you guys cope with chronic isolation? I have no close friends, but I do have a few people I am able to talk to on occasion, so I'm not absolutely, but optimally I'd like to have more social contact. I find that, when I talk to strangers, they are frequently put off by my blank or improper facial expression, flat tone of voice, frequent pauses, slurred words, and a low speaking volume. I also usually run out of things to say after the usual introductory questions (what's your major?, where are you from?, etc.), or I ask the questions awkwardly.

I do have a couple of people I talk to. One I eat lunch with once a week, and we talk to each other on AIM sometimes. He tends to try to say things he knows I'll disagree with and isn't the most interesting guy to talk to, but his social situation isn't much better than mine.

Here's a sample conversation on AIM with him:

There's another guy I talk to after a couple of my classes and now on AIM a little too. His social situation is pretty grim, too. As with this other guy, we don't share too many interests in common besides our major (computer science, which I really don't enjoy very much, but at least it doesn't require good social skills).

Anyway, it can be quite difficult to get up in the morning because I have nothing to look forward to no: no friends to talk to, no girlfriend, not much of anything except food. Throughout my life I never really had many friends. I had a few though until 1st grade; then I had no friends. Between 4th and 7th grades I had two or three friends, but in high school I never had more than acquaintences. I was hoping college would be better, and I have been making many attempts to meet people, but they've all failed so far.

I've never really experienced very much in my life. I mostly only know of things through TV, movies, and the Internet. If I want to go on an outing of any kind, I either have to go alone or have a family member go with me. This means, if I don't have a means of transportation, I'm left at home because my brother and sister have friends of their own, and my parents don't want to try many of the things I'd like to try (plus it's quite embarrassing to be seen in public at the age of 20 with one's parents). I find this lack of experience to be quite detrimental in my ability to relate to people because I don't share many experiences in common with them, and I have little of interest to talk about. My creativity could make up for my lack of real-life experience, but few people seem to enjoy my absurd sense of humor.

I am in very much the same situation as you. I am very lonely and i have no one to talk to outside my family. My main remedy for this is the internet. I am an active member on three communities, and a semi-active member on 5 others. I have a fair number of people on my IM list, too. This is my main source of social interaction. I also have some penpals that I write actual letters to, and a few email friends. I still desperately long for real life friends, but this is the best I can get right now. If I was married, had a good relationship with my husband, plus my family, and one good female friend, I think my social needs would be satisfied, but who knows if that will ever happen. I am trying to be happy with what I have, but that is hard to do when it's less than what you need.

that conversation doesn't seem like you even want to talk to people.

But Then again I am also guilty of that. I often ignore IM conversations and just log off without saying bye or anything.

i am in that situation too: I have a few people who live close by, but i see them maybe once a year or once a month(they're all girls)
right now i feel and am very isolated, and my parents tell me that i shouldnt isolate myself, but its a vicious circle, beacause when /if i do go outside or somewhere to do something, i go with my parents, or alone.
if i am alone, i usually am not able to meet anyone, i will just stay nervous until i get home to "safety" again,(if i go to the town to go shopping or something)
and if i go with one of my parents i just feel like such a dependant person.
so my situation right now is that two of the girls who are supposed to be my friends, have stopped calling/emailing/texting me. and i was the last one to contact them, and asking them if they wanted to do something(like go skiining)
the last time someone came to my house was in january, and since then i have been sitting at home mostly(on the internet)
i actually deleted my entire adress-book on my mobile/cell phone, one night when i felt particularly lonely, and was having an attack/breakdown/was crying/freaking out(dont know what its called)

this week the easter vacation/spring break is starting, and it lasts for two weeks. i dont really do anything anyway, so i have vacation all the time, and i am used to beeing alone in my big house in the forest, but i live with my dad and little brother(whos 10 yrs), and now my dad is going on his own vacation, and my little brother is going to the cabin in the mountains with my mother and the rest of the family,
im so extremely sad, and think two more weeks in COMPLETE isolation will do me absolutely no good. i am used to beng alone the entire day, but my little brother comes home from school at 3.00 pm. and hes fun to play with, but i dont know what to do now.
i desperately want friends, but isolating myself isnt helping, i just dont know what to do..

Urggghhhh!! !! Oh yes, I always find "good bye" appallingly difficult to say to anyone at anytime for some strange reason, and will usually try to slip away unnoticed (not easy when you'e the size I am )

I think I do it because I just can't be bothered typing. It's probably rude, and i'm sorry.

That guy always tries to get a rise out of me. Before he mentioned that he doesn't like Asians, I said there are a lot of Asian exchange students in this dormitory but I'm not attracted to them physically. This is what he does regularly. I mention I don't think it's good that some guys treat women as sex objects, and so he constantly brings up what someone he knows who treats women like sex objects says. It's aggrevating.

I find it really awkward saying goodbye also.

With me its a lot more fundamental than that..... I just feel incredibly uncomfortable with doing it...... Its probably down to my whole discomfort with platitudes in general I reckon.....

Grrrrr..... Platitudes...... duck-billed, egg-laying little freaks..... I hate them so much! !! !! !!

TAFKASH, hey, I resemble that remark!

lol, anyway. The only way I stand it is with the message boards! I have 22 message boards open right now (thank you tabbed browsing). It actually got so bad I would read message boards in class while a hot chick (at the risk of objectifying women) was sitting next to me at the same time.

I used to feel the same way. My parents tell me, that if everyone else (mostly NTs), are having such a great social life, then why is the internet so popular?

There's really no arguing with that. Everyone feels alone sometimes, you have to make your own fun most of the time. Or volunteer, go to a local museum. There are alot of things to do if you look for them. I don't know where you live, but I live near Chicago. So I guess, if you don't live near a city, I really can't relate to that. Other than I'd suggest the famous past-time of cow-tipping. (or gator-tipping if you live in the south)

Also what helps me is, whenever I feel alone, is to listen to Elenor Rigby by The Beatles. There's a rock band called Godhead, who did a awesome cover of Elenor Rigby as well. It's a darker version.

I do not know what to say, except you found an out let already here on these forums and others like it, and also the chats are a great help, for me I never really solved the loneliness problem other then the yahoo and msn chats, a few years ago I kinda lucked out and got married, but it was not out of love and it was a miserable relationship, mostly staying together because of our child, now I am divorced, but I lucked out, this time I found a girl I could and do love here on these forums, her name is chamoisee. My ex-wife I met because she was trying to use me to make someone else jealous and also needed someone to father the child she was carrying and take care of her, she lost that child then got prego again but that time by me (I think), we lasted as long as possible, mostly I hung on out of fear of going back to an empty lonely life that i was terrified of and was afraid of going back too and of losing my son. but divorced I am happier now that I have found someone I can relate with and love, I just miss my son allot....

Hang in there, miracles do happen believe it or not, everyone has their seasons under the sun, I used to not believe it but it happened to me.

The AIM. Radio/Music. 7 Imaginary friends. Stuffed animals. The internet.

These few things help me out MAJORLY.

With the AIM, its hard often times because I don't know what to say to what people say to me (reply) and I feel like a total idiot everytime I talk on the AIM.

When people stsrt saying mean stuff about me on the AIM, I take out a couple of my other screen names with the help of Trillian and pretend to be another person and start annoying them as a funny and harmless way to get back at them for being mean. I've had other people help me out who have had the same problems with the same people.

I am in the same type situation. I too can't drive and don't have friends. I go almost everyone with my parents and family.

Bump