"Nonfunctional" routines

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So I have this routine before I go to bed every day. I don't have to do it before I nap, but I always have to do it before I actually get my daily rest.

My monitor needs to display a specific webpage.
I need some objects to be in particular places.

Last night I was very tired and thought "Oh, I'll skip these things" and proceeded to have a panic attack for the next thirty minutes while trying to sleep, until I put everything the way it was supposed to be. The thing is I do not think anything terrible will happen if I don't do it, but I didn't realize that I was quite that dependent on it.

I don't have panic attacks over this sort of stuff but I do plenty of little things that could be classified as non-functional. They mostly have to do with lining stuff up around the house. If some object is not straight or squared up with other objects, I feel compelled to fix it. I suppose that's borderline OCD but it doesn't hurt anyone, it doesn't make me non-functional, so I do it and I don't beat myself up over it. I don't think anyone would notice except I have received comments about my house being exceptionally neat.

If it's no worse than what you described, then just do it and don't worry about.

I know exactly how you feel. I sometimes start to do things in a certain way; I'm not entirely sure why sometimes, at least I wouldn't be able to explain it to anyone. But then if I don't do them one time it starts to really bother me, like how you described.

I had this one object I used to set out on my windowsill before I went to bed, and then as the sun rose I would wake myself up, and put said object back inside of its case. After that I often went right back to sleep, to wake up later in the day. It became almost automated. Then one night I stayed up reeeeaaaally late and so when I woke up at sunrise I didn't want to move. But as I kept trying to make myself go back to sleep my heartbeat kept speeding up and I kept waking up. The next day I felt like the whole day had been messed up.

Your story reminded me of that. Is that at all similar to what you described? I had always thought of 'nonfunctional routines' as being something like having to wash one's hands a certain number of times, etc (I guess I wasn't very imaginative about the 'etc')

Yeah, that does sound familiar. One element of the panic attack was definitely a faster heartbeat.

As far as it goes, the reason I picked that particular webpage was that I liked the color and relative lack of monitor glow. Now the webpage isn't even the same color anymore. I can change the routine slightly - I fall asleep watching a video more often than I'd prefer - but that's the only change I can cope with. And I can't cope with sleeping if I was watching the video via Netflix.

I described things like this when I was getting my diagnosis, and had it described back to me as an "extreme need for routine." I never saw it as extreme, but apparently to other people it's a bit over the top.

I agree, they only look nonfunctional from the outside.
The ones of mine that aren't in place as a direct offset to executive function keep me anchored. If I'm anchored, I can function.

Mine are "passing routines", so, NT routines, mainly. No doctor could put their finger on them if they tried, because they were aquired during the time I was trying to pass as NT with the energy of a jedi warrior.
I cannot go to sleep if I haven't brushed my teeth. Tell anyone that and they'll automatically go "ah me too, really I have to brush my teeth before going to bed", but that's not what I meant, NT friend, I meant exactly what I said: if I go to bed at 10 pm with no access to a toothbrush, I'll still be awake at 3 am obsessing about it until I pass out from exhaustion lol.
I can't see anyone if I haven't showered. Won't open my door, won't go anywhere, will have a panick attack if someone who travelled a long way to see me without calling first shows up at my doorstep. I might let them in, but i'll rudely abandon them in the living room to take the quickest shower ever and come back.
Anything that relates to my natural self like that has to be erased before I face any NT person. House has to be clean or I'll lock the door until it is. Kids in bed at 9, or I panick that the neighbours will hear them playing and think I'm a horrible mother. Every routine I have like that are "let's appear as normal as possible" routines.

My routines are perfectly functional...

I have a few morning routines which might be considered nonfunctioning by some standards. I cannot do anything until I have had breakfast and taken my shower. I mean I cannot even comfortably answer the telephone until that's been done. On occasions where an "emergency" or event likely to arise without warning, based on events from the day before, etc (i.e. a plumber who is coming back to finish a repair, etc) might come up in the early morning, I usually wake up worried before the sun comes up, and I go ahead and get up, eat, and shower "just in case".

Charles

My only nonfunctional routine is needing to have my cell phone at the side of my bed before I sleep. Need it, or I can't sleep. Probably me needing coffee every morning has become one as well. Or that can be debatable, tho its one that afflicts numerous NTs as well.

I've had nonfunctional routines before. As a kid, all my Barbie dolls had to have their pajamas on and be in their beds before I go to bed. I would not go to bed unless they all had their pajamas on and were in bed. But this didn't last forever.

I also had a routine where I had to always shower before bed or I had troubles sleeping. That one lasted for years until I was an adult.

I don't think I have them anymore. My husband seems to have them too and its he has to have his phone on the charger and he has to have his tablet when he goes to bed. He has to play his computer game before work or does he just do that to pass time because of his feet?

I think lot of people have nonfunctional routines but for us it's different because most people don't need that stuff like we do and their nonfunctional routines are the norm such as coffee or needing to check on their kids. But hey, if I don't check on my kid, I don't go crazy.

Maybe my only nonfunctional routine is must be on the computer or I get anxious. Last night the internet quit working on my computer and oh boy I felt upset but I didn't have a meltdown. Instead I used my Nook to get online but yet I am fine on trips without the internet and when I am out in public without being online. But then I figured out how to get the internet working again when I found the switch to the wireless connection on my computer. It was a button i had to push. But I know one other disorder that would share that trait, people with internet addictions.

I also have to have the doors closed to my cupboards or the drawers or else they drive me crazy if I have to look at them. They just feel too distracting and it looks messy. But yet I can have the hall closet door open but I must have the other side closed because it looks too messy because of the Christmas stuff I have packed away in there. I don't know if this is nonfunctional or more like OCD or normal. Who does leave their kitchen cupboards open and their drawers?

I think more of my nonfunctional routines as a kid and teen was with cleaning and things needing to be perfect before I can relax and enjoy my time and I always had to be neat like must brush my teeth or I have a off day in school or can't go to sleep. But that is probably more OCD.

My routines change almost monthly.
I went about a year of my life having to check my door in my house to make sure it was securely shut three times. and sometimes randomly through out the day.

For a few months i had this silly routine of stacking things before bed. It just made the room feel more cleaner and organized and it helped me sleep.

I cant think of many more right now, but they come and go often.

it seems like i have to take a walk once a day no matter the weather or i cannot function.