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nilescrane
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27 Nov 2011, 11:36 pm

First, I'm aware this probably belongs on love and dating, but I'm not allowed to post there. But it kind of isn't about love and dating anyway because I'm not looking for love or dating advice, more so opinions on the situation.

I was flirting (and being awkward of course lol) with this bartender who seemed to be interested in me at least to some degree (gave us free drinks, told me without me asking what days she works), but anyway at the beginning I asked if an old high school acquaintance still worked there, and she said "actually he's right there" so he comes over and shakes my hand and my brother's hand and we just small talk for a while.

I was idiotically doing this because I've read that if you know people the woman knows, at least with NT women, the whole social proof thing comes into effect...makes you less of a threat, shows that you have common circles.

Anyway, in high school he kind of bullied me...like would make fun of me when everyone else was. We were facebook friends and talked a couple times on facebook, but I deleted him when I did a major overhaul with my profile last year and only kept about 30-40 people total...people I'm in contact with regularly.

I'm just imagining a scenario in my head if she asks him about me and he dishes dirt from high school. Or says something like "We weren't friends, I was just being nice to him" or something.

I want to know if I'm just being uber-paranoid here and even if she did ask/does ask him he'll just say "Oh we went to school together."

It's no surprise to the waitress anyway that I am kind of a goofy guy and she seemed to dig it, so it may not matter anyway.

I'm just thinking worst case scenario. Or would the girl not even care anyway even if he still is a dick and says something?



dogslife
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27 Nov 2011, 11:46 pm

If he still harbors ill will towards you there is a good chance he could bring it up if she asks (especially if he's trying to get with her himself), but if she is already into you, it shouldn't completely take that away or anything. Definitely go to the bar and try to talk to her again!



MrJosh
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27 Nov 2011, 11:46 pm

It could go in anyway, but most likely he'll just say you both went to the same school and probably that he didn't really know you too well.

Your both adults now and that was his work environment.

He will therefore most likely not gossip about you because that would also potentially out him as a bully and it would at the very least make him look like a gossip.

:)



OliveOilMom
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27 Nov 2011, 11:50 pm

If he's still a dick, and he works there and she works there, then she most likely knows he's a dick and won't take his opinion seriously.

Frances



nilescrane
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28 Nov 2011, 12:05 am

Well I just talked to my friend/bandmate who knows how I am and everything...says that the guy would have to be a complete dickwad to say anything like that. He said most likely he'd say just that we were classmates and leave it at that.



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28 Nov 2011, 4:59 am

I am assuming this woman is roughly the same age as you, 28? If this is the case, she should be mature enough not to determine whether she would be interested in a relationship with you based on the way you were at school (this is such a frivolous, superficial age) any woman worth her salt knows this - she should base her decision on whether she likes you now. Hopefully, your acquaintance is mature enough to do the same.


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nilescrane
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28 Nov 2011, 8:44 am

She's 24 actually but seems mature enough for her age.



MrXxx
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28 Nov 2011, 11:02 am

Your profile shows 28 years old, so that means you've been out of high school for anywhere from 9 to 10 years thereabouts, right?

People change a lot once they leave school. The big bad world is somewhat of a harsh equalizer for most people. I wouldn't even think about it anymore. He's not the same person, and neither are you.

You're over analyzing the situation.

Just keep going and wing it. Put the past behind you.


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nilescrane
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28 Nov 2011, 2:23 pm

You guys are right and my friend is too. In a lot of ways, high school never ended for me...1.)The post-traumatic stress in and of itself. 2.)I continued to get harassed by people...co workers/classmates in college/random people on the street, so that has made the high school stuff stand out even more if that makes sense along with the fact that I still live 5-10 minutes away by foot from the school I went to.