How do you get over bullying

Post Reply New Topic

I'm not talking about bullying that is happening now, but when it happened in the past and it still bothers you. How do you let it go?

I either a. ignored it b. RAGE, followed with fighting. I don't get much anymore and I just ignore the little bit I do.

I think it can be possible to just make a decision to 'move forward' and leave it in the past if it was a single episode of bullying. If, on the other hand, bullying has happened repeatedly over many many years in many many different contexts by many different people it can become harder and harder to get over it.

There are times I really wish the bullying I experienced had only happened at school...but alas it did not. I was fired at from all directions (including my home life with a physically violent father and emotionally abusive alcoholic mother) over many years.

Basically I was bullied at school, bullied at home, on one occasion repeatedly thumped by my father at 6 or 7 years old, I was physically attacked by my older brother (10 years my senior) at the age of 15 in which instance he threw me across the room and repeatedly kicked me in the back with his boots on (I thought he was going to kill me I think on that day but I survived). My mother would spend hours telling me she should have had me aborted and that I was stupid and useless. I was raped at 17 by someone I thought was a friend. I was bullied at work at 18. I was then bullied online for years and later found myself in an abusive relationship following which I ended up in a women's refuge.

Over the years I have developed a people phobia of sorts as people seem to be so unkind to each other. Now it is very hard for me to get over all of that especially as whenever I have asked for help I was told I was just 'Over-sensitive' by either people or psychiatrists.

And my therapists think my Social Anxiety is about embarrassment....pft

In the end I stopped asking for help from people and have decided to try and heal myself.

I used to try to forget about it, but that stuff never goes away. It's still knocking around in your subconscious, making you depressed but you don't know why.

Need to make peace with it and understand that those experiences had a role in shaping who you are now.

I use a form of nonreligious meditation to bring out all deleted memories. I deleted most of my childhood from ages 0 to 18, so that's a lot of crap to try to reconnect with. I have to start out in a pretty good place emotionally. I sit myself down in my favorite chair and turn the lights out and just sit there. Then I invite the evil crap in. I think to it, "hey come have a seat over here. Let's hang out and catch up. I won't hurt you if you don't hurt me." Then I wait. Eventually, my brain rebuilds one of the neural burnt bridges and some lost memory comes out. Sometimes I get an acid flashback. The regained memories usually make me cry a lot, but there they are. But I try not to judge the memories, just commune with them and let the tears flow. It's healing, and I feel better afterwards. One down, a million more to go.

It only works if I do this when I'm already in a good or neutral state of mind to start with. If I try this when I'm already depressed, it just makes things worse. A lot worse.

It can be really hard. I know first hand. I've had some successes and some mistakes dealing with it. Bullying does have lasting effects similar to PTSD. I'm not making it up. You might want to Google some. It helped me. If you are depressed, treat it. I really, really wish I'd gotten treatment sooner.

I always stood up for myself by either telling the bully off, reporting what had happened to a teacher of the school campus security or I ended up getting into fights. Ended up being suspended 3 times in junior high just because I was defending myself against a bully. Eventually I just grew up and started to forget about the bullying that happened in the past. being on independent study most of your high school years (because teachers though I was too immature to be in a high school setting even though I was just as intelligent as the other students, or even smarter. I was also the youngest person at the high school in mu freshman year because my birthday was right before the cut-off date so I started kindergarten at age 4) and taking all of your college courses online also helped me avoid bullying.

When you read about bullying and what the act of doing that does to the bully, and reflect upon things, you will understand that a bullies life, always turns out badly. They do damage to themselves, have poorer health, poor relationships etc. Because they are basically s**t people.
Those thoughts work for me.

I've yet to get over the bullying of my past. I was bullied consistently for three years at school, repeatedly attacked on the housing estate where I lived even when I left school and then bullied in a so called 'care home'. I didn't complete school so I only left with one GCSE. I have since got a second one but I still feel like someone owes me my life back. I don't know if it is a grudge or something. The trouble is all of my anger about the past comes out now to people who I actually like and it really upsets me. I wish I knew how to get rid of the feelings

_________________
I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

I haven't gotten over it either. One thing that might help if you can manage is surrounding yourself with supportive, understanding people.

I don't think I'll ever get over it...I've tried and the damage was done so now I get to keep it I guess.

I haven't gotten over it either. I don't think I ever will.

I didn't think I'd ever get over it, as the memories are still in my head and that isn't going to change. However, I'm now talking about stuff from school (I was bullied from start to finish) with my psychiatrist. Talking about it makes it not seem so big and important any more because someone is now listening to what happened and staying with me when I experience feelings related to it. Part of my problem is that I had noone to support me through it at the time it was happening.

Talking about the experiences is definetly helping me.

Just report the person for harassment , simple as that. If that doesn't work out climb up the ladder and make sure the person who didn't take it seriously gets notified. Bullying / harassment is illegal in Canada and by law they will be punished.