Need help...FAST (Please! :) )

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I wasn't sure where else to post this, so I'm posting it here where hopefully the most people will see it.

Also, the smiley is a lie.

I need advice, and I need it bad. IN BRIEF: I work for a hospital in the Medical Records department. Once a month, a department hosts a 'social'. A social is where all two hundred or so doctors and nurses and office workers and housekeeping and maintenance and EMS and clinic workers and their dogs! (There are no dogs. Sadly.)

So, usually, I go to these socials, except for the one time no one else went. I suppose I feel like it's necessary. The one time I ducked out, the CFO was asking my co workers where I was so I felt like I had to go back. These socials are awful. There are about two hundred or so employees in our facility. ALL OF THEM come. So, I try to stay as long as I can until the pressure gets to much. I don't get anything done for the rest of the day. Once, my coworkers saw me having a bit of a breakdown after one social. I told them I have anxiety about crowds, and that was it. Like, a panic attack or something. They do not know I am on the spectrum. I am terrified of disclosing it. I live in West Texas, where people aren't the most understanding of different kinds of people. I fear the pre- and misconceptions that people have
about autism would affect their judgement of me. I also lack an official diagnosis, and don't really plan on getting one, unless USA decides to socialize healthcare or something, because I just can't afford it, and there is little benefit I could receive from it. I digress. Usually, I leave when the pressure becomes to much. I think I said that already. I don't know. Jittery.

Tomorrow, we are hosting the social. I do not have the luxury of leaving. I fear the inevitable breakdown. I'm terrified, and I don't know what to do.

And we're doing it in just about the damned smallest room you could imagine. Maybe as wide as three school buses and as long as one and a half. Full of tables and food and loud talking people and announcements and trophies and employees of the months.

I have no clue what to do. I am desperate for guidance.

why can't you opt out?

I think you may be comming down with the flu, and any second now your throat will be sore and your eyes watery, and you'd better get the thermometer ready..... plenty of rest and fluids.... don't spread those germs!

I don't know if I can. I feel like these are something that we have to do or if not it looks really bad socially. I live in a small town too, where everybody talks to everybody. The hospital is a very social place. I guess I feel like there's a pressure to attend. I dont know. I really dont.

we could go with the "broken leg"..... but it will hurt a bit more.... or maybe someone page you with an emergency you must run right out of there to attend to.... {dog/cow/sheep} got out of the fence, must go looking for him?

You can find me at social gatherings sitting down out of the way focused on my phone and not really responsive to verbal contact. When I'm forced to be in situations where senses are involved I manage to stay somewhat coherent through the use of earplugs but I don't look out of place with them in where I work. It decreases the loud tones while still allowing you to hear a lot of the time. Might help?

Your problem with using an actual excuse is it doesn't solve the long term problem. When you call in the next time people may notice...

I'm a diagnosed aspie but I don't inform people I work with/get in a lot of trouble all the time, but I seem to manage alright.

The broken leg would also keep me in the very same hospital. Then the two hundred people would pop in to make sure I was okay, heh. I think my fears with these types of plans lie in the fact that I'm not a good liar, maybe.

I'm going to refer to that oldest and most noble of human principles "if it doesn't make you happy, don't do it". You don't want to go to this social? Don't. You don't like calling in? Don't. The worst possible result of this (and believe me when I say this is coming from a reliable source) is a slight slap on the wrist when someone says "oh, you should have called in for that". Hey. if they recognise that you don't like doing that then most people will be accepting and leave it alone. People are more understanding than most aspies seem to think. Tell someone you hate crowds or calling in sick(which I will extrapolate to disliking making excuses or asking for something) I am almost certain they won't hate you for not putting yourself through an awkward ordeal for some menial social credit.

In the states I don't think there is much of a reason. People thinking I'm unique/irritating is enough for me. And one person I found to be extremely annoying/dumb/maybe a tweaker actually surprised me when he said "are you autistic or something, you have no social skills". (only person that really caught on ever)....

In my field it doesn't make sense because its dog eat dog world, in a medical setting I'm unsure how it would work. But people would rather gossip and use things against you than be supportive where I come from. And even when if they don't know your an aspie people seem to coach you without quite realizing you might be different ... Example : "Don't smile all the time" - "Don't laugh at everything" - Coaching your interactions..

Ear plugs themselves you can probably wear for different conditions but in a room of doctors that might be a fail. But if you want some go to your local supermarket, they're probably with the eye drops and such. And they come in different types... some probably not as noticeable.

Volunteer to help with the 'backstage' things... the awards, whatever. if you are part of the production it a) looks good to all involved and b) gets you out of the majority of social part. Other people would consider that a sacrifice - missing the social part.

^^^ ewww, YUCK. What a nightmare. You have my sincerest sympathy. All I can think of is.... Valium.

It's not uncommon among people in general to be uncomfortable in large crowds or small spaces. That you want to be in the background should not seem an abnormal choice to anyone. Introvert versus extrovert - everyone falls in one or the other, some even bounce back and forth between the two at random based on their mood and the people in their midst.

Just address whoever is "in charge" of the event and ask what kinds of things you can do to help, that you'd be happy to help keep the tables stocked up and make sure trash doesn't pile up and things like that. Those are chores a lot of people won't want because they'll be wanting to socialize and hang out with the other people at the gathering. That should actually help you disengage from the conversations for the most part.

Alternative to ear plugs are pieces of cotton balls which you can make as small or as large as is comfortable for you. Little bit of baby oil and then some cotton ball, and you just created an instant sound muffler for each ear. If anyone asks, tell them your ears were bothering you a little bit and the drops try to drain out while you're busy during the day. The people at the party don't need to know the finer details and if they ask you questions, just point at the cotton balls and say, "I'm sorry but it's hard to hear right now. Perhaps we can chat some other time?"

So with that you haven't said that you aren't interested in talking to them, just that "right now" isn't a good time.