Coming out of the "Autism Closet"

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A new group was created for adults with A.S. in my area. I went. I loved it. Making friends (in person) with other Aspergians has helped me embrace it more openly in myself, and enough confidence that I'm actually planning on writing posting a Facebook note "outing" myself.

Anyway, I also recently started a blog. My initial motive in creating it was in order to have an outlet to express my feelings about something that is such a fundamental part of my identity but keeping it anonymous. But at this point I kind of feel like saying, screw it, I'm sick of hiding who I am.

http://adventuresfromthespectrum.wordpress.com/[url=http://adventuresfromthespectrum.wordpress.com/]

I may change the name or url.

Anyway, any thoughts about going public?

I think it would be excellent!
Even talking about aspergers anonymously online like a load off my shoulders! And it's the perfect time for it too, it appears general public opinion about aspergers has been becoming positive for the last couple of years. Anyone who thinks of you differently for it aren't worth being friends with.

However you're far braver then me... I can't even think of what I would say to tell people! How would you go about telling people?

My thoughts exactly!



Well, I wouldn't have wanted to do it when I was younger, I'm 26 now - I'd NEVER have thought even a couple years ago that I'd do this. I used to think it was this shameful secret that I had to keep quiet about the rest of my life. The first time I think I told anybody about it I was 20 or so, and have done it here and there over the years, but always felt awkward doing it. I think I'm finally at a place where I can articulate what it actually is. I'm going to post a facebook note with a summary of my theory of A.S. and counter the negative and false perceptions people have of it. Then I'll include some links to videos and articles and websites that I like.

^^ When you post that facebook note, make sure to share it with us here as well!! Lol!


I am undiagnosed but on the road to getting a diagnosis... I fit he bill of aspergers pretty darn well.

At first, I thought that I wouldn't want to share the diagnosis (if I get one) with anyone but my close friends because I wouldn't want to appear to be seeking pity from others or give my friends the impression that they have to treat me special or give me extra breaks/sympathy because I have "issues" or am "special needs". I am sure this is what a lot of people feel like.

However, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I think it is necessary to share this information with everyone I know and come into contact with, IF only in fairness to THEM. Even just helping people understand that they ways I have acted in the past were not caused by intentional rudeness, hatred, cockiness, or simply a bad attitude - it was simply a miscommunication - would clear a lot of things up and release a lot of guilt and tensions from both myself and the other party. If I don't at least try to help them understand, I can't expect them to ever understand. This is just my thoughts... I feel like you are on the right track and I hope to soon know enough about myself to be able to let others know me too!

Will do! Might be in a week or two. Thanks for the feedback.

Rather than share it with the whole wide world all at once, why not "practice" a bit with your nearest and dearest, those who understand you, one at a time? That's approximately what I did, and now my own whole wide world knows about it, that is, most everybody who knows my name at all. It'll also refine your own thoughts about it: to someone like, say, your sister, you can say something like "that's why I was late tying my shoes", or "that's why I had trouble learning to catch a ball", etc.-- any of the many traits that stood out about you that that particular person happens to know about.

i sort of feel like you at the minute.

ive been so desperate to get everything down on paper as i have trouble remembering everything. it got to the point where i had written so much about my own condition that i started my site as well. its only been up 10 days. i also feel the need to just explode out of the closet and say "look this me! Deal with it or F-off".

http://freakgeekunique.co.uk/wp/

ive been debating for the last few days whether to post a pic of myself on the "post a pic" thread.

It does not have to be an all or none thing many people I know about me but I don’t make it public lucky most of my friends are psychology students half are not NT

I am open about my diagnosis of Asperger's. I have been written about in two books (and a third book about to be published). The one book had a paragraph contribution written by me discussing my autism and praising the man the book was about. The second book had some quotes I made about autism. And this third upcoming book actually features me in a section---where I am discussing autism in my life (around 10 pages). Coincidentally I just received the release form today to sign so that it may be used legally in the book. I have also played music publically where I have discussed autism in my life.

Oh wow! Would we be allowed to hear what this book is called? If it uses real life stories, that sounds like an interesting read.


I'm still just finding out about myself and my Asperger's. I told some friends already, including my boyfriend, and to them it was more like one of those, "OHHHHH!! ! That makes sense" kind of moments, haha. My little brother (who also seems to be an aspie) also wasn't surprised. He'd actually read about it and considered it for us before. Though I still have my parents to reach... and I doubt my mom will be ready to believe it when I tell her. She has a multi-step process when handling news she doesn't like. 1) Denial, at all costs. Refuses to talk about it. 2) More denial, but less strong. 3) Absolute silence. Could last from a day, up to several weeks. 4) Starts to listen. 5)Thinks about it. Asks questions. Then finally, 6) Acceptance. (This process has been tested many times. Even my brothers agree with me; it's a pattern she always makes.)

... I think I'm going to need a pre-written pamphlet to send out to her, since we live 1000 miles apart, she doesn't use the internet, and she'll need something to mull over when she gets to her "Starts to listen" phase.

I had the perfect opportunity to come out about my AS to some friends last night. But in the end I chickened out. I've come out to about 3 friends, and I'm just uncomfortable with coming out because of being judged, and people talking about it behind my back.

it seems to be a no-win situation. damned if you do and damned if you dont

That's happened to me so many times. I want to be able to mention it if the topic of autism comes up, but as soon as I try to figure out what to say, my heart starts beating fast and then the topic changes and I beat myself up for it being such a big deal.



Yep. For a while my philosophy has been, if your traits are obvious and cause impairment, telling people could make them a bit more understanding, but if you can pass as normal, then telling people will cause them to filter all your uniqueness and quirks as merely symptoms of a disorder.

One reason I feel more willing to go with the "damned if I do" route is due to the cultural shift that is taking place right now with public awareness of Aspergers and autistic culture.

As for posting a picture or sharing your name in a public forum: that brings with it a larger issue; once somethings on the web, it goes out of your control really. For instance, potential employers, can google you, and you could get considered a liability. And an identity trail can be used to find out all about you - suppose someone looked you up via facial recognition technology (which is getting better and better). The post pops up, and then they go through and read all your posts. So, not only could they then know about your autism, they could learn about other stuff you wouldn't want an employer to know. I know I've written some stuff on here that I wouldn't want an employer to know about, unrelated to Autism.

Not saying don't do it, just, consider that as one factor. For me, I figure it's only a matter of time before I become involved in Autism in a public manner - like posting videos and pictures. But I'm taking it one step at a time.

That's exactly what happened with me. I had brought up this strange man who walks down the street in our neighborhood wearing a suit, mis matched shoes, and wild hair. He walks around with grocery bags all the time, tears up bread and throws it on the ground, or he talks on a pay phone all night. Turns out this guy used to be my friends math teacher and is autistic. Apparently this guy is a genius, and was a great teacher. Teaching people things way beyond of what they should of been learning.

Update: well, I've decided not to do it. There's just too many ramifications. I'm gonna just keep practicing telling people on an individual level. To write a big ol facebook note at this point would be impulsive; I can always do it later if and when it becomes more relevant or necessary, when the timing is right.

I've never been "in the closet." It's been an open topic for me ever since I began to suspect it. I don't even understand the feeling that it's something to hide or be so cautious about revealing. To me it would be like trying to hide my nose. I've always felt it was pretty obvious anyway. Now there's word for it, and an explanation. That's the only difference.