We are not freaks!! !

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I hope this is the correct forum. I just had to shout it out and wrongplanet seems to be just about the right place.

My son was diagnosed with Asperger's the last month. At first I was scared and wracked with guilt. He's always been different but I blamed myself for being a cold mother, a working mother, not being social enough, etc. The psychologist said it was nothing that I had done, but in fact the way his brain is.

Slowly the realization started sinking in that my son is exactly like me! I am 28 years old. All these years I thought I was a freak, anti-social, all I've ever done is blame myself for not being like everybody else. I hesitated and talked to my husband about it and he agreed that I am definitely, definitely an Aspie. Today I took the plunge and called my mom who has been researching AS since we found out about my son. She was not sure about broaching the subject with me, but she had decided on her own that I was un-diagnosed as well. The two people who know me best in the world and both of them love me for it too.

Now, I am so ecstatic! We are not freaks, we are Aspies. We are not anti-social, we are just picky about who we socialize with. We are above normal intelligence! We are sensory individuals with immense capabilities.

I am so happy and when we first took my son to the doctor begging for him to help us figure out why he was so angry and withdrawn and lost in his world, I would have never thought that he would receive and AS diagnosis, and that I would finally figure out that I am an Aspie too, and that it would be the realization that would set the two of us free to fully appreciate who we are.

Sorry if it was completely me me me, I just had to shout it (and being an Aspie, I don't have a crowd to shout it to and wouldn't if I really did lol).

Are there other parents here that figured out they are Aspies through their children's diagnosis?

I dunno, I kinda like to get freaky sometimes.

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I would never want to live in a world where we are all the same.

Autism is just one of many colors of the rainbow in human perception.

My mom actually expressed regret that I slipped through the cracks the way I am starting to see can be typical for an undiagnosed Aspie without a strong support group, but really, there have got to be so many undiagnosed adult Aspies out there. As I told her, if the diagnosis came out in 94 (right?) there is no way my generation (I'm in my late 20's) could have been diagnosed and understood as kids. A whole generation or more of undiagnosed Aspies, or if they are diagnosed as adults, they went undiagnosed in early childhood.

It will be amazing to see how different a kid can grow up and bloom when they actually have support, understanding, and encouragement with all the special abilities that Aspies have.

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That's a pretty common initial reaction-- and one of the better ones.

Snaps, sweetheart.

Unless you're very, very lucky, you'll get over it. Do yourself a favor-- don't bother getting a diagnosis for yourself, and keep your happy new knowledge on the down low.

And don't read a lot of the literature or listen to what the media has to say.

Get ready to fight the school and the experts tooth and nail every step of the way in defense of your son's personhood, his right to be himself...

...and try really, really hard never to let yourself question your own. That way lies bitterness.

Plenty of other people will be more than happy to do that for you.

Good luck.

i figured out i was an aspie age 45, and all my life i blamed myself for being different and thought i was a freak, closing all the windows at home and then pacing back and forth, flipping my fingers, and unable to make friends or be around people in a social gathering.
i was angry and lost in my world, too, especially as a child, and didnt understand where the anger was coming from.
many of the threads here start with, me, me, me. people write about their problems and what they have to deal with, and others relate, having similiar issues.
it's a good thing you found out, both for you and your son. i had the same reaction that i'm not a freak and i have a high intelligence level and i'm special, and felt much better for all the times i said/did the unappropriate thing. it's not because i'm a freak or because i'm stupid.
being diagnosed is the best thing that happened to me, excpet maybe my nieces and buying my cats, oh, and learning self defense... all right, not the best thing but definitely a good thing and very helpful.
of course it's not something you did - or didnt do. just genetics, and your son will be fine, knowing he's an aspie and not a freak at a young age.

I'm also not a freak. I just happen to be different from most people. If everybody was the same, the world would be a very boring place to live. I'm proud to be on the spectrum. I wouldn't be as unique if I was NT.

Thanks everyone for the input.