Getting to a diagnosis - Hi!

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Hello! I'm 30 years old and have been in and out of therapy for most of my life. I had a, shall we say, rough childhood so most of the therapy was geared towards that. I've since "recovered" and while I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I have been able to work through most of my issues with regard to it.

That said, about 7 years ago I started a new job and had health insurance for the first time since high school. I started seeing a psychiatrist. I explained I had symptoms of OCD or PTSD (without memories) and fairly severe ADHD, without hyperactivity. My problems are more impulse control and daydreaming.

She was really nice and prescribed Ritalin and Prozac (for the OCD). We decided it didn't matter if it was OCD or PTSD - the problem was the OCD behaviors (most were related to safety). I'd like to say things got tons better, but they didn't. They got better *enough* though, if that makes sense.

A few years ago - maybe 3 - I decided I wanted to try CBT for my OCD symptoms. I met a therapist I liked and after a few meetings, I asked her about the chances I might have AS. She pulled out the DSM-IV and explained I didn't have enough of the social criteria to meet the diagnostic requirement. I agreed with her, more or less, but I think now it was because I didn't understand what some of the criteria meant.

I ended up quitting the CBT because it was $75 a session and she wanted to meet weekly - I couldn't afford it. However, my insurance recently changed and it is now $15 a visit. Yay! That psychologist was no longer working with CBT, but they had another one - a guy.

I saw him this past Saturday and while we discussed a few things, he did say it may be AS. I scoffed, and explained that the other doctor had said it wasn't. He said that I didn't have to have a complete lack of empathy to be AS. Hmm. Interesting.

I've spent the last 48 hours reading up on AS and spent some time in the IRC channel and it's like I found "my people" - people that understand how you can be an introvert who talks too much. People that understand you can be incredibly smart but socially feel really stupid. People that would get why I would want to experience a new city - or even one I know well - with my headphones on, blasting music so I don't have to interact. I can feel a part of everything and yet not have to actually interact.

So, while I've been told a psychologist can't diagnose AS, I plan to bring it up to my psychiatrist the next time I see her (early May) and see what she says. It just makes sense and would explain SO MUCH. I'm hesitant to self-diagnose but everything in my being says that this is AS. Now I just have to work on getting treated!

I highly suggest you and him read what's on the blog Autism and Empathy: Dispelling Myths and Breaking Stereotypes. Also check out the article Asperger's theory does about-face by Maia Szalavitz (and the comment too).

Who told you a psychologist can't diagnose AS... a psychiatrist? The psychologist who started the support group for adults with Asperger's in my area specialized in Asperger's.

See if you can borrow a copy of The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood. It's a great book for someone new to learning about Asperger's.

One last thing... Asperger's is something that can't be "treated." It's not a disease or illness. It's a different "breed/culture" of people. Getting educated about it helps Aspies to learn how neurotypical people think different from us Aspies.

Hehehe. So so so me!

You have to remember that Autism is a spectrum disorder and not everyone will have the same symptoms. I came across something a few years where a parent had said that their partner doesn't want to meet other childrens parents with ASDs because they're all different.

I've been reading a lot on the boards today.

I know now that I don't have to have a complete lack of empathy to be AS.

I actually found a copy of the Adult Asperger's Assessment test online - an Excel file that auto-calculated.

It came back positive. The area I scored...most AS, I guess you could say? Empathy. Figures! I'm going to print off my answers for the therapist - I see him again Saturday morning - and I figure we can talk about it.

Also, I know it can't be "treated" - that was a poor word choice on my part. I guess the word I'm looking for is "managed" - I want to be me - AS and all (if I do have it) - but I also want to recognize some of the things I do that make others (NT or otherwise) uncomfortable so that I can at least be aware of them, and modify my behavior (if I can/desire to).

Is it weird I'm sort of excited? It's like after knowing I was "different" for my whole life, I finally see WHY I'm different - or at least have a name for it. There are other people like me! It's possible to be this sort of different and still be awesome! Yay!

I feel the same way. Could you send me the link to that Adult Asperger's Assessment test? I've been trying to find one.

When I was little, I was fascinated with ghosts. I wanted to be one.

Alternatively you could just choose to see yourself as a normal person with a thinking and communication style that differs from that of some people but is similar to that of others - that's normal human variation.

Then you could get on with your life without having to pay out any more money for therapy.

This would be the more self-actualising way of dealing with your problems and you'd feel a whole lot better for it, trust me. Life is all about overcoming problems - everyone has to do it all the time; it's an ongoing process that never stops - you do not need to be diagnosed with loads of conditions in order to achieve this - you can just be yourself and learn coping skills for your difficulties, just as the average person does.

This is a far more mentally healthy way of coping with life than clinging to a diagnosis as a way of defining yourself.

It's not that simple at all. People don't go to therapy who have these diagnoses because they're clinging to the diagnosis. They go to therapy because they need therapy, and have the diagnosis because it allows them help that they need.

It doesn't matter that I thought I was an aspie and that meant I was just a slightly different type of person for years. I still needed drastic help. Learning coping skills on my own wasn't enough, because all the coping skills I've put together aren't enough to be dealing with what I need for help at this point in time.

I am disabled. The thing about disabilities is that just saying its not there doesn't mean that its not there - both others saying that, and yourself saying that. If a given individual chooses to not go to therapy, or feels its not necessary, that's their choice. If another given individual chooses to go that route, that doesn't mean they're hiding behind a diagnosis.

^^^ THIS ^^^
I spent 38 years of developing my own coping strategies and overcoming problems ... and I finally had to admit to myself that I was having significant problems with my life and none of the ways I had developed to deal with my difficulties were enough for me to deal with the challenges life was presenting to me. My GP referred me to the psychiatrist, who agreed I had an ASD (which I had previously self-diagnosed with but not pursued diagnosis) and referred me to the local autistic society for further support (because the psych felt I needed it). Funding for that support was denied by the social work department and the NHS. So I continued to try to help myself, as I have done throughout my life - believing that armed with the knowledge and understanding brought to me by my ASD diagnosis I would be able to figure out what to do - but things continued to get worse and exceeded my capacity to cope (I attempted suicide). I ended up back at the psychiatrist - who recognised that I still needed additional help and support - and was given another label on top of the ASD. That new label not only suddenly opened up the funding for support from the local autistic society (from the NHS), but also for specialist psychotherapy (again funded by the NHS). Now we know the NHS in this day and age is very protective of it's funds ... so they really must think I need this additional help and support...

I am lucky that I don't have to pay for it (and I couldn't afford it if I did). But if it's clear that I need this level of support, then other people probably do as well. Just because you are coping with your life, nessa238, it doesn't mean we all can. And it might be that at some time the demands placed on you will exceed your ability to cope even if you try desperately hard to help yourself (as I have) and you might find yourself needing help. I'll be pleased for you if that never happens ... because no one would choose to struggle like this if they didn't have to, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I've been running a support group for adults on the autistic spectrum (mainly aspies) since last year until last week, so I was supporting not only myself but others as well. I finally had enough of it as they were such a selfish, apathetic bunch! They made no effort to help me run the group despite my asking for help to set up a committee so we could apply for funding grants; most of the time they couldn't even be bothered to reply to any emails I sent out! They couldn't be bothered to support each other so why the hell should they expect so-called NTs to help them?? Within the Asperger community the motto seems to be 'Give me all the help you can provide and I'll just sit here and do f-k all in return!

I sent an email out saying I felt more like punching them in the face than supporting them as they were selfish, ungrateful and apathetic. The ones who responded said they were sorry I felt like that and they understood how I felt. No one even got angry! People who make no effort to help themselves but just rely on others to spoon-feed them all the time just grind you down I can tell you! They are not people you want to be around as their apathy and sheer ingratitude is corrosive and makes you start to really dislike them. I'm all for empowering people to help themselves and each other but to keep giving and get absolutely zero effort back - no thanks.

People often confuse empathy with theory of mind. People with AS do not tend to lack emotional empathy. We tend to lack theory of mind.

Nessa, this applies to you as well... Please try to view your experience in this context. The people you are criticizing likely had no idea you felt that way, or what you were expecting of them. Had you made more of an effort to help them understand this, they likely would have been empathetic toward your needs.

To suggest that people with Asperger's are lazy or apathetic just shows ignorance. Frankly, Nessa, I think you need to learn more about AS before you try to help others with it.

No more than neurotypicals. In fact, the older a NT is (generally speaking), the more he or she displays a lack in theory of mind among the Aspie culture. Family members of mine say I appear to have a lot more theory of mind (generally speaking) towards NTs than they do towards me.

Last edited by faithfilly on 02 May 2012, 5:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

I acknowledge that I lack patience and empathy but I see these as traits any person can potentially have ie not specific to Aspergers

I've dispensed with the Asperger label for myself and can see it's not my place to dictate to others and think I know what's best for them - it's an aspect of my character I have that with being 46 I don't know how much chance I have of changing.

I've also almost dispensed with religion as well - as I see it as another element of social control over me - having been sent to Sunday School/Church from a young age I think I was effectively successfully brainwashed into believing in God to the extent it's very scary to me to say I'm not believing in God any more. I want to just be me, free of any outside-imposed conditioning that is detrimental to me developing fully as a person.

I wish others would stop dictating to me how to live my live and stop assuming to know what's best for me... but since that doesn't appear to be happening yet for me by age 57, I doubt it will ever stop. I was informed that most people behaving that way don't realize they're being a bully. It does no good to tell them. They won't believe it because they don't care. That's what makes them blind to what they're doing.

In regard to religion, I must not have been successfully brainwashed. I never heard anyone talking about the Bible or Christianity during my growing up years. No one "exposed" me to it. I just woke up one morning at age 25 with an intense desire to read and study a Bible. That desire changed who I now am today. I'd have to say God washed my brain (and heart). I needed it.

Well that's fine that you came to religion of your own accord - I've got no problem with that at all.

I was sent to Sunday School by my parents though and evidently didn't have the intellectual accumen to question or reject what I was being told, hence it went into my brain and stuck there as if it were fact!

I tried to throw an old bible in the bin yesterday that had been given to my Dad by his grandparents when he was 10 (he's 77 now and has demential and is in a care home) but it felt very wrong! They'd written in the front cover re 'given on his birthday at age 10 years' etc
and also a quotation from Proverbs - 'Let him acknowledge thee in all his ways' - something like that and I thought how exactly is he meant to be acknowledging God when he's living a miserable life in a care home and doesn't even know who I am any more?? He's got no chance of acknowledging God and I strongly suspect he doesn't even believe in him - I'm going to ask him when we see him this week.