I got up feeling like I had a hangover after yesterday's events. Most of the day I popped on & off WP, which really helped me stay clearer headed than I had before. About an hour after I had dinner a tsunami of guilt, anger and grief came out of nowhere; tears, knotted stomach, grinding teeth and self pummeling like someone flipped a switch, I went hypersensitive at my dad when he was trying to talk to me, I didn't want him to see me racking and sobbing. I told him almost shouting that I was having a meltdown and suddenly he backed away and gave me a few minutes until I felt composed enough to explain, we talked about little communication techniques they've learned with my half-brother (who I've seen 'doormat' them a time or 2 already) and the storm completely passed in less than 20 minutes. I've seen obvious triggers that take me out for half day or more but this time I hadn't noticed until the bad feelings jumped on my back.
Am I comparing or just self-awaring?
16 May 2012, 11:57 pm
