Emotional Dysregulation

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The thing that's going to create the worst future problems in growing up for me is this thing called Emotional Dysregulation.
I keep getting angry outbursts and stress that lasts for about an hour (2 or 3 in extreme cases). Being told to calm down only makes it worse.
I'm in high school now and most people who witness it and don't know me think I'm spastic.
I hope this doesn't screw me over too much in life .

It doesn't take much to set me off, especially at home where I can express my anger. I'm pretty passive at school because I tend to internalize my feelings, but this doesn't mean the anger isn't there or that my feelings don't bother me. A big trigger comes from hearing the tone in people's voices. If one of my parents becomes irritated with me, it sends me into a rage. I tend to throw things when angry...I can't help it. In that moment, it just feels like a natural reaction.

Yes, so much so that I received a diagnosis of emotional dyseegulation disorder shortly after my ASD diagnosis. They're not sure if its from the ASD itself or from something like borderline personality disorder. The autism specialist says it'd most likely the ASD, the psych isn't sure and gave me a tentative BPD diagnosis. Either way I'm on the waiting list for psychotherapy to help me with this.

Those who know me know that I am prone to losing control of my emotions when I get upset or stressed out. Always have been. I tend to pick up on others' negative vibes or stress readily, and I can act unpredictably when this happens. I can get frantic when I get stressed out.

I suppress my emotions so well that it causes me problems in dealing with legitimate ones. I have learned to ignore my feelings in order to just get through the day.

I have it very much, it's actually one of my mainproblems.

I could almost have written this!! ! And the whole need to throw things - what is with that?? I can't seem to be able to help it I have found it helpful at times to use this thing called a Pool Noodle (tube of foam they use in swimming pools), and hit my bed really hard til I get my physical anger out. If I have had a day with many things getting to me and generating an intense feeling I have to internalise, it can help to think of each of those events while hitting the bed.

I would love to go to a place where you can therapeutically throw and smash dinner plates

I also get very sensitive to an irritated tone in someone's voice. I am quite fed up at how sensitive I am to everything to be honest and people's advice of "just tell yourself this, or don't let this stuff bother you" surprisingly doesn't work or I wouldn't have this problem.
For me, the emotion is just so overwhelming, fast, and intense that I need to get it out of my body, is hard to explain. My mind telling me this or telling me that only comes into it AFTER the emotion has already taken over me....
(and it isn't just anger, I used to get overly excited about stuff, and other emotions too)

The things that usually trigger me are...

1. Arguments/complaints involving what i do.
2. Confusion for a long period of time.
3. Headaches.
4. People that don't understand me after I've told them a billion times.
5. People arguing/smartassing/purposely irritating me.
It doesn't take much.

I think I do yes.

I always worry about outbursts in the future, like if I get married and settle down and live with a partner. Maybe for the first 3 or 4 years I might be able to control my tempers, but once a few years goes by when living with someone, I know I will start to not care about what he thinks and I will start easily having tantrums again, just like I do at home now.

I really do wish having tantrums/outbursts/meltdowns wasn't an Aspie trait.

The pool noodle is a great idea! I tend to go for the first object I see, and it used to be much worse. Lately I've been able to forgo the expensive stuff

I tend to feel most emotions very intensely, especially anxiety. The biggest reasons I can't be around people for too long are a) sensory overstimulation b) I just want to be left alone, and c) they make me nervous.

I could have written both. (no, I'm not a student now, but I used to be)

I've found that the right therapy can help a big deal. Once I have managed to sort out lots of things I have had from the past near-meltdowns or meltdown situations become easier to handle to me. I still have emotional outbursts, but I'm more likely to notice them in time and prevent or at least delay their worst part (hitting, kicking, throwing). When I'm really stressed, I let out my anger at home, mostly at the bed, until then I try to contain it.

What can a therapy do? I don't know exactly, but I suspect that it has to do with self-esteem and suppressed memories in our subconscious. It may sound banal but it really can make a difference.

Searching for and cutting back on stress factors is naturally the first step to reduce the frequency and severity of meltdowns / anger outbursts. Doing sports can help quite a bit, too.

In 3rd. -5th. Grade this was really a major issue for me in school. Now I only have this issue at home but I have very little social exposure.

Is it just negative emotions or all emotions? I have found not trying to control the more positive ones
seems to relieve or tone down the bad.
I let the positive emotions run wild and vent the bad constantly before it can build up.

I'm hoping that in your case knowledge of your condition and appropriate stress relieving activities will provide you the foundation you need to manage this. You're already aware, so possibly now identify your triggers what gets you upset and stresses you out and work on strategies to minimize those triggers. That's the best we can do I think.

This is me too!!