About being anxious and overloaded.

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Just came back from town. Within 2 minutes of walking out the door I started to feel anxious; "what if people bump into me?", "what if people look at me?", "what if people laugh at me?", "what if people think I'm fat?", "why are people coming so close to me?", "Don't touch me!". Anxiety - my own private bully. My heart started beating faster and I started sweating. Also, it's really warm outside and I'm very sensitive to heat which made it all worse. My hair kept touching my neck and my clothes felt wrong and it all freaked me out. Couldn't even listen to music because it just added to the whole claustrophobic feeling and the feeling of getting overloaded.

Now I'm at home and my parents are being noisy. I'm in my room, door locked. Not feeling good at all at the moment. It makes me so angry and sad that I can't even go to town for 30 minutes without feeling this way. It's not always this bad, but still.

Can anyone relate to this?

Yes, I can relate to some of it definately. Mainly the aniexty and worry part.

One thing I continually try to remember is that most of the things I worry might happen, never do. In fact most of the time none of the things I worry about ever happen.

And I know I have had all this anxiety, and wasted a lot of energy, for nothing.

But just knowing that was only of limited help to me, and the feelings still came and it was like I had no control. From talking to people and doctors, I became convinced the anxiety portion was actually a brain chemistry problem and I was being flooded with some chemical or maybe not enough of another. I didn't understand the specifics very well... but did believe it was actually a physical medical problem and not just a attitude or personality issue.

So my Doctors tried some different things and the the first two didn't help (one Prozac, made things worse!) until we found one, fairly new, Effexor, that did the trick. My anxiety and worry episodes are virtually gone now and my life has definately improved these last 6 years. The side effects are minimal and it does not seem to alter my conciousness or make me foggy in any way I can detect. The only side effects, mainly early on was tiredness, which you can minimalize by taking before bed.

So for me a medication (its the only mental disorder med I take) helped reduce one significant problem. I have others, possibly Aspie related, but the overall situation is drastically improved. I don't know if that is an option you have tried or considered & meds are not something to do lightly. But it can be a very useful tool. I would add you have to be patient and persistant in finding the right one. We are all a little different and what works for one, may not for another. Don't let the doctors do sloppy work, but keep on them till they do find the right solution.... or change doctors if possible.

It may not be the answer, but it is worth investigating. It's good to look at all of the options.

Btw, Global warming must be real if its getting hot in Sweden.

Yes I can relate to this, except I feel worse when going out in the winter when there's snow and ice about, because of the fear of slipping on unavoidable ice and drawing attention to myself, or thinking everyone saw because of the paranoia of thinking I'm constantly in the spotlight. Just the thought of winter is already making me anxious and depressed. I wish the UK was more near a warmer part of the Earth where they never get any snow.

I feel more confident with going out when it's hot. It has been hot this week (like 30 celcius) and I wore my T-shirt and shorts and sandals, and felt I could keep up a better posture because I didn't have so many clothes weighing me down, and I really felt that nobody was looking at me, except men who only looked at me because they probably thought I looked ''sexy''. But I had no women or young girls looking at me, which was lovely, and I felt I could perform tasks better and even make better eye contact and talk to people better, knowing I'm not being watched by everybody else so much.

But I know the feeling of being anxious about what might happen (or what usually happens) when you go out. I have these questions too going round and round in my head, and others too; ''what if people look at me?'', ''what if people laugh at me?'', ''what if I get in everyone's way in the shop?'', ''what if too many people get on the bus?'', ''what if somebody singles me out and makes me feel patronised?'', ''what if something happens that shows me up in front of everyone and I make the situation more embarrassing by not knowing what to do?'' I think what it is, is I fear humiliation, and I'm so scared of being embarrassed. I also get the feeling that I am being watched, so when something unexpected does happen to me, I get the feeling that somebody's bound to see it, and judge me against it. Or I always think people are thinking, ''what's that stupid girl doing? Where's that stupid girl going?'' I probably get this feeling because of a lot of experiences I have had in the past where I have caught people whispering about me or sniggering, and I know that it's personal because they were looking at me as they were doing suspicious reactions, making me want to look at them and say, ''if you've got a problem with me then why don't you come right out and say it to my face, so that I can work on any differences and it then won't bother you any more?''

I totally under stand. That sort of thing just happened to me a few days ago. I have a service dog, more service dog in training. Shes still a puppy so sometimes she can add to my stress but other times she really helps. Now shes in my life I feel like I can do more things and go more places with out totally freaking out.

I don't get as overloaded, but I hear everything around me. And when I ask if anyone else heard what I heard, people look at me like I'm crazy. I do hate noise, humidity and heat are unbearable as well.

It may be you can begin getting practical assistance with problematic symtoms once you see the Psychologist. As far as the ASD goes, yes it would be good to know, but I am not sure what it will mean in practical terms, not ever having one myself.

And I think to a point, even with a ASD, you will still be you, and in the same situation and world in general. So I don't see any reason to wait getting on with things. If you have taken the tests, etc, you may already have a fairly good idea about it as well.

The basic pattern whether you are NT or have AS is still the same, though some parts may need modification.

Work, or a profession
Independance
Satisfaction/Happiness

One of the most basic (and successful) strategies in the NT world, for success, is to capitalize on your strengths and minimalize your weaknesses. NTs are far from good at everything and have to use adaptations and modifications to bring the weak areas up to at least an minimum standard/acceptable point. They try to use their strengths to excell in other areas.

I think this is totally useable by people with ASD. You may have to work harder, possibly a lot harder on the weak spots, because some of it is likely related to their condition. Conversely, you probably do have strengths and possibly even stronger ones then NTs.

Sorry for 'long-winded' responses. It takes me a while to develop thoughts. Short, crisp and clear statements is not my strongpoint.

I always get overly worried now when I take a shower, I've had a few really nasty panic attacks there. The other day when it was raining with a few thunderstorms in the area I kept thinking I was gonna get electrocuted in the shower like a piece of toast. I almost jumped out with the soap still on me because i didnt want to get shocked. I resumed my bathing activities but was done in record time. these shower episodes are becoming a flashback of terror for me

Sometimes in the grochery line I'll over think things and get nervous about studdering or dropping my money while handing it to the cashier, it makes me look suspicious but that defintley isnt the intended effect

I supose i could get on meds for my problem but then would have to deal with all the side effects.