dyingofpoetry wrote:
I am pretty sure this is an Aspergian phenomenon (although I know it happens to NTs on occasion too), but I very often have a sensation that I can best descibe as being the opposite of déjà vu. In other words, I do something or something happens to me that is pretty roution and happens frequently, but it feels like the first time. It's a strange, uncomfortable feeling like the event hasn't actaully happened a hundred times already and I don't know what to expect next.
For example. I kiss my boyfriend in the morning, or I arrive at the front door of my workplace, and it seems unusual or foreign, like I'm not sure why I'm doing it and have anxiety about what is going to happen next. I suppose it may be a form of derealization, but I think it may be strongly associated with ASDs because it is usually triggered by something being slightly different about the routine event, e.g. when kissing ny boyfriend, he touches me on my shoulder first, or when coming into work, a car plls up next to me. Since I'm a lot more comfortable with things being exactly the same every day, the minor difference might be causing the feeling of disconnect.
Does this happen frequently to anyone else?
Yes.
At times I'll feel profoundly displaced. This is something I thought of opening a thread with, and it has to do our general experiences, ones that are generically routine. For a social example: we know we learn or pick up things from our environment, even subconsciously, but when there is a change in a place such as a location, I seem to lose my personal developed style of relating to people. In other words the same people but now taking place in a different setting e.g., ' new place.' I will completely lose the "developed way" of interacting with
familiar people.
This is one of my "avoidant" pet peeves.
A hypothetical thought experiment: I know folks and we joke around and we feel a mutual comfort with one another, even being together for years. But the kicker is: Now imagine "us" meeting up in a different State ( A location in US).
Now, I cannot interact with these familiar people without making mental mistakes, as it seems I lost my "theory of mind" with them.
One of the reasons some folks thought or 'think' I'm bipolar is the fact that this "thing" is inconsistent in its expression. I can interface these different settings, successfully, and other times I'll do the above.
(Why the inconsistancy?)