Afraid of a mis diagnosis

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Hello, i have a concern about being diagnosed. For a whole while now i have been searching internet for mental illnesses to describe me, or something to blame it all on i guess even though i am probably the one to blame. I had several moments where i thought i had something. I thought i was Psychotic at first, then Generalized Anxiety Disorder, later came Avoidant Personality Disorder and later i thought Bipolar. Then i came across the "Autism/Aspergers" section of some forum.

I thought i might have Aspergers because it definitely did not look like Autism. I expressed this concern to my Therapist and we talked about it several sessions. Then she asked me if i would like to get tested for it by some Autism expert. I was hesitant but then she told me she had thought of Aspergers after my first few appointments. That was before i told her i did research about Aspergers.

I was pretty shocked. When i thought of the previous disorders i listed above, i could always shrug them off because they did not seem to describe me after all. But now this Therapist tells me i might actually be this. I thought that maybe it's worth a shot to do the test so i can rule it out for good. So she sent me to the Autism expert and 3 appointments later i agreed to take a test. This expert tells me it's possible i have it.

But i really don't know. I'm starting to believe i don't have Aspergers at all. And maybe just a few things like light OCD, anxiety in meeting people and social situations. I'm afraid i'll get a mis diagnosis for this, i don't even want a diagnosis anymore. My questions are, how likely is a mis diagnosis? If a Autism expert thinks you might have AS, how much weight should i give her oppinion? My dad tells me it's impossible i have Aspergers while my sister says it's possible. Isn't it more important to listen to yourself? I have periods where i think it's AS but also period where i think i absolutely don't, just like right now.

I started arguing against what my therapist tells me but in the end she says "You should have more faith in us" I have a feeling i set things in motion that i'm not happy with.

Enjoy your autism bucks!
Free money.

It sounds like you are in denial. Two experienced professionals have indicated you have aspergers and you are ignoring it.

Regarding your family, it's common for families to go into denial too. The fact your sister thinks it's possible is pretty telling as your siblings often know the real you better than your parents.

Something took you to the therapist to begin with, so you must have some difficulties.
It's your choice, but really what do you have to lose by listening and working with the diagnosis?

Jason.

Two professionals have told me yes, but one is a simple Therapist who probably doesn't know a whole lot about Autism or Aspergers. The Autism expert herself told me there is a possibility. So nothing is certain yet. Ugh i don't know what to think. Maybe my dad doesn't think i have it because most people in my family are like me. As in locking themselves up in a room all day everyday avoiding "real life" and social stuff.

I wonder if it's normal for someone to not have made any friends in the past 5-6 years, i haven't and it seems very Asperger like. And even before that i had 1 friend in High School and 1 in Junior High. I went to the Therapist 6 months ago because i had a severe addiction to Marijuana. I don't have a lot to lose i guess if i work with them. I'm pretty sure anyways that i don't have it. I have this idea that it's my own fault i let it go this far.

Unlike you, I am looking forward to being diagnosed, since it will provide answers. My fear is that I have spent so many years pretending to be normal that it may prevent the proper diagnosis.

Being diagnosed with AS falsely shouldn't be detrimental, as it doesn't rule out other possibilities. You can still seek help with other non-AS issues.

Unlike you, I am looking forward to being diagnosed, since it will provide answers. My fear is that I have spent so many years pretending to be normal that it may prevent the proper diagnosis.

Being diagnosed with AS falsely shouldn't be detrimental, as it doesn't rule out other possibilities. You can still seek help with other non-AS issues.

No we are quite the same, i want to be diagnosed, but for the right thing. I'm just thinking that maybe there are reasons beside AS that make me feel this way. I did smoke myself numb with Marijuana for 3 years. First year was i used "reasonably". Second and third year there was NOT a moment where i wasn't high. Count that in with being bullied whole my life, having little friends and low self esteem/worth.

I am leaving to see the psychologist now, and I am a little hesitant, as I am when I meet anyone new.

What I was trying to say before, is don't stop seeking additional diagnoses if AS is diagnosed, but doesn't answer all the questions. I know I have a couple of different issues.

I think most people have other issues if they have AS, especially if they're diagnosed later. I was depressed suicidal and self-harming by the time I was diagnosed, I think knowing there's something wrong but not knowing what it is or how to explain it pushes some people to the edge. I was told I probably have OCD and depression too, and probably many people with AS end up with some sort of social anxiety from so many bad social experiences, from what I've told there are lots of cross overs and grey areas. Just because you have AS doesn't mean you may not have a psychiatric problem too, with it or because of it.

I'm still only coming to terms with being diagnosed with AS now, and I was diagnosed 10 years ago. I still haven't fully accepted it I don't think, and possibly I never will.

Let's face it, the only change the diagnosis is going to make is to give you a constructive basis for understanding the hand life's dealt you, rather than another net full of red herrings.

I don't think i have it because people around me tell me i used to be social as a kid like everyone. We "all" did sport together and i suppose you could say "It went well because you have things in common". But as i can remember, i wasn't too different from other people when i was young. Also i have a very light form of OCD i think. Which is even getting better every month. I used to check doors 2 to 3 times, stove 3 times. Windows to see if they are locked even though they always are. I have this obsessive compulsion to restart in every sandbox game. To the point where i play one game 3 months and am still playing the first 15 minutes of the game. Some more things i'm sure if i give it some thought, right now i'm not sure.

So i brought it down to checking lights, stove, windows and doors once and i try to look at it for 10 seconds burning the image in my head that it's actually closed.. and that works. And about rituals, i got some i guess but i don't experience many issues when i mess them up or change them. I think i just learned how to keep myself busy and happy that's why i probably haven't really considered socializing the last few years. I don't know, many thing tell me it's not true and some tell me it is. I'm not sure if i have obsessions. I'm having the Aspergers test this month they told me so i guess i'll see soon.

@Littledarwin - Thanks, i won't give up.

@Peterd - Yes i'd love to know for sure that i have something, to know i have this thing and not worry about hundreds of little symptoms and annoyances, trying to piece them together..

I shouldn't fret unduly; a diagnosis matters as much as you let it matter, it's only a word after all. If, after receiving the diagnosis, you don't think it fits you, just shrug it off. You don't have to tell friends you have it, aren't required to mention it in a job interview or apply for disability because of it, not doing anything about it isn't going to get you into any trouble, it just might make explaining any awkwardness in socialisation rather difficult. At any rate, long story short, if you don't like the label, then don't use it, it's not something to worry about.

I had my initial appointment. My psychologist is going through some general diagnoses before seriously considering AS, and in thinking about it, any good professional should do the same. So perhaps it would be good for a patient as well.

If you feel like you could use some help, go and get it, and don't concern yourself with the diagnosis... Discuss your thoughts on your condition(s) and let things fall where they may.