Anyone else tired of being told you're too isolated?

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rebbieh
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07 Aug 2012, 10:54 am

It really annoys me when people (in my case it's mostly my parents) tell me I'm too isolated and that I'm getting more and more introverted. I think it's probably true I've become increasingly introverted over the past few years (even though I've always been very introverted) and maybe it's not too healthy, I don't know, but why don't they just let me be? I like being by myself. Especially now that I'm trying to deal with everything that's going on inside of me (anxiety, figuring out if I've got AS etc). My problems make me feel bad enough, why do people have to add to that?



Oldout
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07 Aug 2012, 10:59 am

Unfortunately the world loves to profess freedom, yet most people then do anything to make themselves and others conformists.



Musicc
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07 Aug 2012, 11:01 am

Even when I enjoy being alone and reading books or painting, people get the wrong idea that I am isolated, can't make friends etc. too many assumptions, it annoys me. But I have also learned thst it is impossible to make them understand.



nolan1971
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07 Aug 2012, 11:08 am

A good number of us are not isolated by choice we just can't find enough
like minded people (for me fellow aspies) to become friends with.
Even if it is by choice I would much rather have only a few true friends than alot of lousy/fake ones!



rebbieh
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07 Aug 2012, 11:10 am

nolan1971 wrote:
... we just can't find enough like minded people (for me fellow aspies) to become friends with.


I don't think I've ever met any like-minded people (except here at WP).



Nonperson
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07 Aug 2012, 11:42 am

Yeah, really. When socializing is a source of nothing but suffering & depression and you engage in it only because other people make you feel obligated to, while "isolation" heals that damage, it seems to me the isolation is healthy. What's healthy about running around desperately trying to participate in social activities you can't understand and get no enjoyment from, for no reason? I think it's just NT projection: isolation is depressing for them, so it must be the same for us.



nolan1971
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07 Aug 2012, 1:03 pm

Except for my nephew I haven't met any other aspies since high school
before Wrong Planet with the exception of my best friend Rich who I believe was AS
and my ex wife who I suspect has it also.



GiantHockeyFan
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07 Aug 2012, 1:24 pm

Oldout wrote:
Unfortunately the world loves to profess freedom, yet most people then do anything to make themselves and others conformists.


Probably the best line I heard in a long time. It took me many years before I finally clued in to how true it is.



hanyo
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07 Aug 2012, 2:02 pm

Nonperson wrote:
Yeah, really. When socializing is a source of nothing but suffering & depression and you engage in it only because other people make you feel obligated to, while "isolation" heals that damage, it seems to me the isolation is healthy. What's healthy about running around desperately trying to participate in social activities you can't understand and get no enjoyment from, for no reason? I think it's just NT projection: isolation is depressing for them, so it must be the same for us.


I agree with all of that.

I could stay in my house and never speak to another person (except for my mother because I live with her) for the next year and it wouldn't even bother me. I don't go out much but when I do it's generally to obtain items or do things and I usually don't talk to anyone when I'm out.



hyksos55
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07 Aug 2012, 4:15 pm

“I'm never less at leisure than when at leisure, or less alone than when alone.”

Scipio Africanus


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rebbieh
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08 Aug 2012, 1:38 am

hyksos55 wrote:
“I'm never less at leisure than when at leisure, or less alone than when alone.”

Scipio Africanus


Good one. That's true for me most of the time.



Aprilviolets
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08 Aug 2012, 8:24 am

I remember when I was a child and being forced to socialising with other kids it didn't work and only made me even more of a loner then ever.
in fact the people that try to make you socialise are never there to help you when things go wrong. :evil:



Misslizard
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08 Aug 2012, 6:41 pm

Yes,both my daughter and therapist say this.They tell me that people need contact with other people to do well,if this is so,why the h--l does it make me feel so bad?



revolutionarygirl
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08 Aug 2012, 6:56 pm

I get sick of it, but I'm not going to let it get to me. There was a time when I tried very very much so to fit in. I tried to look as normal as possible to the rest of the world. I would get worried if someone told me I was weird, or if I made a social faux pas. I tried to be like an NT for years, but it never felt right or made me happy. So I decided to stop. Now I don't let comments like that bother me. I tell people I am an introvert and will not be changing anytime soon. If they want to be social, good for them, by all means do so. But what works for them just doesn't work for me.



hyksos55
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09 Aug 2012, 8:45 am

It’s not good to be alone all the time, it’s just so hard to find good company. So it seems “I am never in such good company as when I am alone”.

So it's a Catch 22


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Musicc
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09 Aug 2012, 9:21 am

We are social animals, so we need company. But as aspies, we find it hard to find the right company. But given an option, I'd choose aloneness simply because I know what it's like to have bad friends. It is just not worth it, and aloneness is far more preferable.