Is it rude to ask if he has Aspergers?

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I'm getting to know this guy and I've always suspected he had a hard time being social and was just really shy. Someone told me that he has Aspergers. From what I've read so far, he matches the description pretty well. Is it OK to ask him about it? I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable or seem rude. How can I find out?

I would confide in him first that you have Asperger's. If he has Asperger's, then he'll feel much more comfortable sharing anything with you. I once told a professor of mine that I have Asperger's, and he told me that he had it, too. We have remained very close since then.

The problem is that if the person who gave her the information is incorrect, he could be really offended.

How well do you know the guy? Would you feel comfortable saying "I heard you had leukemia, is that true?" Not that I think AS is even remotely like cancer, but I do think some people consider the information as private as a medical condition. But if your relationship with him is such that you would feel comfortable asking other personal information, then I do agree that a straightforward approach is better.

I want to add that it is very thoughtful and considerate for you to seek your answer among people with Aspergers. Many (most?) people I know would not think to do that. So, if it is any indication of the kind of person you are, you will probably be sensitive when you ask him and he will hopefully understand that you mean nothing negative in your question.

I keep my issues to myself, to give one viewpoint. One reason is because I do not have ( A current or correct anyway) DX at this time. Even so.. Like my Crohn's Disease, I only would tell people who had a need to know. And my close friends. Outside of that, I would not like to be the topic of discussion.
OTOH, I do not think I would actually be offended. Surprised? Definitely! Most NTs have little knowledge of AS/HFA or other ASDs unless its in their close Family. Even then, they seldom understand it..

Sincerely,
Matthew

I have been seeing a man intimately for a few months. I've known him for a couple years and I have had feelings for him for a long time. We don't spend much time together. I have to persue him but I know he must like me from simple things he might say or do. I am positive he has aspergers but it seems as though he tries to hide it. I want to tell him that I know and that it's ok. I want him to trust me. Whenever I try to discuss visiting longer or going for dinner he changes he subject or says "it possible" meanwhile his face gets a bit flush and he smiles a bit. Will he tell me in time? Should I bring it up?

Yes, sorry I was trying to make a long story short. We are physically intimate.

In that case, I think maybe someone with Aspergers should answer. If you were emotionally intimate, I would feel more comfortable saying you could probably talk to him about it after seeing him for a few months. But if you are physically intimate, I am not sure. I do not think I would go there, but that might just be my preference.

I know there is emotion involved but he doesn't tell me anything about how he feels. I know he likes me more than just sex. I can tell by his actions. It seems to me he is trying hold back and I think it's because he doesn't want me to change my mind about him. An example would be yesterday, I told him if we could go for dinner or something I probably wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of him. His reply was "or the exact opposite" I said not a chance. I just want him to know that i am going to like him just he way he is...maybe I should just give it more time. Thank you for the reply:)

I wouldn't ask him. I don't think I'd want anybody asking me out of the blue if I thought they didn't know, I don't think anyway...especially if I didn't think I had it or know anything about it. You could maybe try getting it out of him by talking about shyness and stuff. You could start off by talking about your own shyness and social awkwardness and maybe he might open up to you a bit more about himself.

Thank you!