Meltdowns that scare even yourself?

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Has anyone had a major meltdown that scares even yourself?

I am so extremely stressed in my Life at the moment, and during another argument with my fiance last night I suddenly flipped into having a major meltdown. It still has me feeling scared by it today! I just felt so out of control. I picked up a chair and smashed it to the ground a couple of times, threw things - anything, everything - hit and kicked a door repeatedly, screaming, crying, jumping up and down and my fiance had to physically restrain me, I was out of control, and then I started hyperventilating (what happens to me in a panic attack) and I really couldn't breathe, it was so scary. I felt so out of control!
I haven't had one like this in a very long time. It was like I wasn't even there. I think it is because I am so ridiculously stressed at the moment.

Just wondering, does anyone else get like this sometimes? I hate this aspect of AS....

Basically any meltdown I'd have nowadays would be this. I feel like I've gotten past meltdowns, although they did happen in childhood. I'd be frightened at the prospect of having regressed 10+ years... which for most people would be 25+! Out of a mere (soon to be) 28.

If 0 was completely calm and 100 was meltdown point, I don't think I've gotten above 70 in the last three years.

I get this at times. Generally if I get overly angry. Random objects get bashed against each other, things get launched at the wall, and there's alot of incoherant shouting. Usually this is in reaction to some piece of electronics/machinery not working right, which is the one thing that can set me off really fast.

I dont usually let myself get too concerned about it though. I would never actually hurt anyone, so.....

Most of my meltdowns scare me, usually right after it happens. The scary part is how uncontrollable my emotions are during the climax of the meltdown.

The last one I had, I was probably more ashamed of it than I was afraid, because I had woken up people who were sleeping, but I sure didn't have any control over my actions and was actually surprised that the one I had wasn't worse than it was. I really don't know how much meltdowns can vary in how severe they are.

only really when i was younger (15-18) and at school.

most these days i just go cry/shout my head off for an hour-ish and maybe smash my cellphone up- but it's a Nokia and could survive a nuclear blast so hey ho


i am pretty lucky at the moment cos of the type of work i do means i completely avoid situations where a meltdown would occur - the only thing being is getting burnout/mental tiredness after several days of interaction...


however, this will probably change what with the DWP trying to force me to work in a noisy factory - i'll report back with how many fire extinguishers i launch into computer screens and the like

A few years ago when I was 17, I had a really bad meltdown where I was scream - crying and literally begging my dad and stepmother to brutally kill me because I was such an evil person who would never do anything good or productive.

Yeah I've experienced that sort of thing......though its not just related to having autism in my case, it has a lot to do with my PTSD being triggered a lot of times though I imagine the whole having difficulties dealing with stress due to autism(at least I feel I have always kind of had issues dealing with even normal levels of stress) certainly does not help matters. But yeah it just seems to get worse and worse every time at the moment my head actually still hurts from me hitting myself in the head when I freaked out the other day. It does kind of scare me because I don't really have any control over it and I feel I am lucky I haven't hurt anyone else yet.


Hard thing is trying to figure out what the hell to do about it...I mean I don't think anyone in my family even gets how serious it is or they just simply don't get how I feel. I have one friend who I think gets it, but he's been really busy and can't really do much to help.

I know what that's like....everyone in my family could care less, too.

I've never had aggressive meltdowns where I damage things, but I have ones that have doubled as panic attacks, and they are extremely scary. Usually, they are triggered by the thought that a situation can't be fixed, and that said situation is all my fault. I lose my breath, making me feel like I'm about to die or that I'm losing control of my body. Fortunately, I haven't had one of these in a while.

Some of them do care, but they don't exactly know how to deal with it..........for instance when I start getting set off typically people don't see it as such. They seem to see it as me being irritable and or rude for no reason or they think I am just not letting things go, being overdramatic or just being a jerk and then try to call me out on it but of course the wrong things are said and it just makes it worse. Obviously if I am on the verge of freaking the hell out and someone says something like 'uhh you're being so dramatic' or 'calm down' for instance its likely to make it worse.

Its just frustrating there seems to be no way to indicate to people if I am on the verge of a freak out.....and even if there was I feel like it would be like pulling teeth trying to explain to everyone that when I start getting like that its best to either be supportive and non-judgmental and try to get me away from any major stress. I would like to try and be able to realize myself when its happening so I can just go somewhere quiet. But yeah my family with all their issues aren't exactly helpful when it comes to this issue.

One of my worst meltdowns resulted in my window fan being smashed into a thousand pieces and screaming at my hubby. Inconsolable, that's the word. bleh. Sorry to read you experience these as well. Do what you can to reduce your stress levels. I seem to go for about a week before it is all too much again, yesterday I was relieved that it was only a mini-meltdown and my hubby has been trained (his doing, he has AS too) to "deal" with me and talk me down (simply not engage with whatever I'm accusing him of, etc.).

I don't think any other person on this planet can have the same effect. Do you have someone or something that can help when you notice the beginnings of a meltdown? Sometimes when I catch it early I can go through it with less 'force' if you know what I mean. The cyclone ends up being a gale force wind instead, to use an analogy.

I haven't had a bad meltdown in a couple of years, at least not around anyone else. What scares me are my shutdowns. Those come during periods of stress. I get so depressed, I pretty much give up on life. Usually I barely eat or drink, don't get out of bed, don't function, etc. I just lay in bed and will myself to die. I can't think clearly or rationally. It's scary.

I kind of scared myself from a meltdown a few weeks ago. I ended up slapping myself in the face repeatedly, many times, and I didn't know where to put myself. But the meltdown itself didn't scare me. It's the people who might find out that scares me. Earlier that day I saw my grandparents in the bus-station, and I went upto them and had a quick chat, and I felt all mature and ''normal'', especially when I said, ''I've been shopping with my friends'', and they were like, ''oh, right, that's nice''. Then later that day I had the crazy meltdown, and the next day my dad went to see his mum and dad (the grandparents I had saw the day before), and I could see him telling them about me slapping myself in the face angrily. I think my grandparents have kind of forgot that I have AS, and now that I'm grown-up and don't see them so often, I think, to them, that I just mingle in with the other grandchildren and just comes across as NT to the grandparents, then if my dad told them about my crazy moments it'd suddenly remind them that one of their grandchildren is not normal.

I have had meltdowns where more than one person had to restrain me before. And I have smashed things and hurt people in meltdowns as well.

However now my meltdowns tend to be more internalised, such as panic attacks/seizure symptoms/self-harm. Although I still do have the occasional outwardly obvious meltdown.