Why do I find this situation embarrassing?

Post Reply New Topic

About a year or so ago I was waiting in the bus-station for my bus, and a friend came along (well, she used to be my friend but she did be horrible to me for a time, now she's friendly again and I might aswell be civil because I don't do confrontations). She then started yelling out all her problems to me, like thinking she was pregnant, her friends spreading bad roumors about her, her boyfriend cheating behind her back, et cetera. She was yelling so loud, pacing up and down with her phone in her hand, and swearing too. I kind of stood there meekly, just gently mumbling, ''yeah....no....uh-huh....oh that's not nice....'' and somehow I felt the silly one and I felt everybody at the stand were looking oddly at me instead of this girl, who was actually the one who should've been drawing all the attention to herself.

Did I actually look like the idiot, because I should have been the same; swearing and yelling aswell? I feel so embarrassed for some strange reason each time I think back to that moment, and worry that some of the people in the bus-station recognised me because a lot of them are regular passengers on my bus, and I'm a regular passenger too. I just wished the ground opened up and swallowed me then closed again when I was in this situation. Was it normal for me to be embarrassed because of her aggressive behaviour? Did I look more ridiculous than her because I was just being meek?

If I were witnessing that, I'd assume you were the poor soul getting all her anger directed at you. I don't think you need to feel embarrassed about it - you didn't do anything wrong.

if it happens again try bombarding someone like that with some very usless random stuff they will get board and leave you alone. Take my advise at your own risk though.

Joe90, The people were probably looking at you to see your reactions and wondering if you were in any way involved with her problems. From your reaction, I suppose they'll have worked out that it wasn't anything to do with you. I imagine they thought she was the one acting strangley and you were the 'innocent' party (not that you were being attacked or anything). Maybe they were concerned for you, as they'd probably be ambarrassed too, in a situation like that. Don't worry about it at all.

A couple of years ago, I was in the cafe at our town hall with a friend (no longer a friend, long story, another thread). She was speaking quite loudly, not shouting, but the cafe has a very high ceiling and voices echo. Remembering the types of conversations she started, it's possible that she was saying stuff that people don't normally talk about in public. A man and woman were looking directly at me, laughing and kind of making faces and rolling their eyes. I've no idea who they were. I'm sure now that they were laughing at the loud voice and possibly the topic and me having to put up with it. But, at the time, I wasn't sure why they were acting like that, although I assumed it was something about her. I thought maybe they'd seen her before. Knowing what I know now about her, maybe they'd witnessed her behaviour in the past. But, at the time, she was my friend and I was slightly offended that they were poking fun at her (behind her back) and involving me in the process. They were around 50 and looked kind of professional, so this was really odd, I thought.

Those people may have looked at you full of admiration for your calm attitude.

Most people are less self-confident than we give them credit for. They most probably were thinking "how would I act if an acquaintance had a meltdown in the street?" and trying to learn something from how you reacted - whether what to do or what not to do. Of course you'd feel self-conscious, that's only human in such a situation.