I dont want to be kissed!

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Im going to my boyfriends house tomorrow for a few hours and Im pretty sure he wants to kiss me. We have kissed before and I hated it every time! And he knows that because I told him. But lately he keeps telling me how we dont act like we are a couple. We act like friends because all we do is hold hands and hug. He likes kissing but for some reason it freaks me out! I dont want to hurt his feelings and tell him how much I really do hate kissing but I also dont want to be kissed. He knows I dont like it but he doesnt know how much I really hate it. What should I do?

I think it's going to be a problem. Kissing is one of those normal things people do as a show of affection. You may just have to learn to do it or else it will be very difficult for you to be involved in a romantic relationship unless you find another aspie with this particular kink.

As far as it goes, I have only been kissed on the lips once, when I was 29, and I found it a very odd sensation too. However, if I had a chance to be with someone I liked, I would learn to get used to it. Life is too long to go through it alone and sometimes that may mean compromise in certain areas.

Tell him that you'd like to go directly to sex, with no kissing preliminars. He'll surely understand

PS Yeap, kissing is fine for a couple of minutes. But... more??? it's all the time the same again and again! It's just boring... Usually when I'm in one of those 'kissing sessions' I just turn on the automatic pilot and think in any other stuff.

You really don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing.
If he can accept that, then great, if not, then maybe you's would be better off friends?
There's no point in being like every other couple when you are put in an uncomfortable position. If you don't like it, don't do it and don't let someone pressure you into doing it.

I had my first boyfriend at 15 and discovered many things which I didn't like, such as kissing and holding hands and generally touching, lol, I got better at holding hands and we'd hold hands while walking around the park, but only because he initially didn't seem to expect anything of me and quickly learnt what I was willing to do and not willing to do.

It's obvious you're not going to change your experience of kissing in one day, so maybe you should just make it clear to him that you don't like kissing?

Here's a novel thought: you could be a really groundbreaking couple in the respect that you don't outwardly flaunt your monopoly on happiness in public through chewing each others' faces off at the bus stop accompanied by noises that sound more like a bear chowing down on a week-old elk cadaver.

I also have issues with kissing, and I don't think kissing is something that you can get used to. My last girlfriend was rather disappointed about it. Needless to say we broke up.

Do you realize this is a 15 year old?

Nope. Didn't see. But anyway, 15 years teens have sex nowadays. And the boyfriend, same age probably, hormones, and insisting in kissing. What do you thing he has in his mind? Strolling under the moonlight?

Maybe you're just not ready to have a relationship yet? I was kissed for the first time when I was fourteen, and I remember thinking it was awful and made me really uncomfortable. So I didn't date or have a relationship until I was nineteen. And now I really like kissing.

I hate kissing too. I know that I think kissing looks really nice and I know that it should feel good and I want to do it, but when it actually gets to it, it's not very pleasant at all.

Try to explain to him how you feel about it. I agree with the post above by Jamsine90 - if he can't accept that then he's not worth it (but then I don't know him and I don't know how much you really like him). I know, from my experience, it's hard to tell the truth because I just thought he would ditch me and I would never find anyone ever again, seeing as he was the second (and, at the moment, last) person ever to show minute interest in me.

But don't suffer in silence. If you don't like it, don't do it. Never let yourself get forced into doing something that you won't enjoy and will regret. Take your time. Your view may change in a few years (I'm still hoping mine will).

Anyway, you're 15! You have plenty of time! (:

Yeah, you have the right not to kiss him if you don't want to. If he doesn't respect your boundaries, then he doesn't really care that much about you, does he? He needs to listen to what you want.

BTW, there are plenty of couples who don't kiss; in fact, plenty who don't kiss, don't have sex, and don't do anything more physically intensive than a hug. You might research asexuality--whether you want sex or not, your problem with kissing is probably similar to that many asexuals have faced. Maybe some of their insights could be useful to you.

It's interesting this double standard about men and women. Advices for women often are this way:

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/ad ... d-foreplay

The final sentence that summarizes it all: 'You deserve a man who wants to make your pleasure a priority.'

But when it comes to the reverse situation, like here, the advice is 'You don't have to care about what your couple wants, it's all about what YOU want'.

A nice way to build a relationship: don't try to empathize, don't try to understand what the other person needs or wants, just think on YOU, because YOU is the only thing that matters. Why you should try to reach a agreement where both parts give up their initial expectations when you can think only about you?

And women call US a**holes...

If you hate it that much you shouldn't do it. I suppose kissing isn't that big a deal but doing sexual things that you don't enjoy and don't really want to do is a good way to build up resentment and make you hate sex.

I enjoy kissing, but not as much as some of my girlfriends have. I only ever dated one girl who I truly enjoyed kissing all the time. I am the same way about hand holding. I enjoy it, but need it in moderation.

I don't see double standard in this thread. I see both males and females complaining that kissing is not easy. In my case it was my girlfriend who demanded it, and I understood her need. I wish I could have done better, I really tried, but I couldn't get rid of my reluctant feelings. At the moment I don't know about anything that would help other than telling them kissing won't work.

You tried. You cared about the other person and you did your best. There's a middle point in a relationship, neither submission nor selfishness, to care about you but to care about the other person too. It's called assertiveness. I have met too many women that overcomed the traditional submissive feminine role... becoming completelly selfish and only caring about themselves. If 'don't do anything that you don't want' is a valid moral statement... then what you do is ONLY what you want (p->q is the equivalent to !q->!p). If both do so, well, this is not the best way to build something.