Getting Annoyed By People In The Street & Shops
When i'm in the street or in a shop and its crowded or there are old people,fat people, groups of people whatever blocking the pavement, walking too slowly infront, people just cutting infront of you without looking, people taking forever at the check out,i find myself getting really really annoyed, especially if i'm in a hurry but even if i'm not. I get inpatient really quickly and i find that people just irritate me. Like if i'm on a train and someone keeps coughing or someone is laughing or breathing really loudly it irritates me.I think all this is possibly due to my Aspergers and wondered if others are the same?
Prams driven by Yummy Mummies walking two-abreast down the pavement
, really slowly
whilst chatting
. Usually encountered at rush hour when everyone else needs the pavement for rushing, but obviously they don't have to work because they have rich husbands.
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_________________
AQ: 32 (up to 37 when answering instinctively); EQ: 21 - 24; SQ: 31
Reading the Mind in the Eyes: 32
RAADS-R: 85
RDOS Aspie score: 115/200; NT score: 79/200
I feel the same way. I speculate that many people on the spectrum take an instrumental approach to movement in public places: Reach destination by path of least resistance. Unfortunately, many NT individuals satisfy many different needs in the same public places: Socializing, admiring, etc. They lack our single-minded approach to tasks, and thus they do all sorts of things we find irritating.
I have a particular enmity towards "choke points" where people (usually cyclists and pedestrians) stop and start conversations in areas where there is a limited room for manoeuvring (use your [CENSORED] eyes!).
But nothing pisses me off more than people who try to cheat while standing in line... (I still got the shovel).
I resent your comment on the age or body weight of individuals, on the other hand...
You needn't resent it, when skinny and young people do it it annoys me just as much. i wasn't picking on any particular group of people, i was referring to the fact old people walk so slow and fat people block the pavement just as i said large groups of people walk slow/block the pavement
I think for us, Just going to the store, market or print-shop can sometimes be a pre-planned task. You know what you need to buy or do, and you want it DONE and "Out of the way" as quickly as possible so you can return to the safe, unpublic haven of your dwelling.
When other people are doddering about, oblivious to that pressing "Sense Of Urgency" that you have in your mind to accomplish the task, you get dismayed and annoyed that they do not have the same (SOU) you do.
I understand, I've been there hundreds of times.
As I age a bit, I've learned to try to just calm myself as much as I can and just let the situation "dissipate" in that few minutes. Before you know it, that sidewalk slow-poke or check-out line road block are gone. And you can breathe easy once again! ![]()
YellowBanana
Veteran
Joined: 14 Feb 2011
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,032
Location: mostly, in my head.
I'm exactly the same. However I'm not sure if it's an AS thing particularly, I know when I'm walking with other people and someone cuts in front or just stops or whatever the person I'm with often seems just as annoyed as me. Perhaps it's just a human thing.
_________________
Female. Dx ASD in 2011 @ Age 38. Also Dx BPD
In short: yes. The exact same things happen to me. I tend to avoid going to crowded places because of it because usually within 15 minutes I want to uppercut somebody (or numerous somebodies - and I'm categorically *not* a violent person). Wearing earplugs helps a little (because the noise is one of the big parts of the problem for me).
I agree that the things he is describing are legitimately rude behaviour on the part of the randoms. However, this behaviour is so pervasive in society that it cannot be avoided - it is only by adapting ourselves that we can learn to cope with it because most 90& of the world are not gonna stop being inconsiderate and selfish overnight. Most NTs seem to have no problem with dealing with it all; the only people I know who have these kind of issues are either autistic or have some kind of anxiety disorder.
I get in such a rage when I have to deal with those things. I find the majority of people in public places to be extremely inconsiderate to everything and everyone else around them. I think it's because when I am going somewhere I always have an objective and I'm always moving with a purpose, not simply meandering around oblivious to everything around me. It's almost as if most people go out without even knowing what they are doing or plan to do.
Is it me, or do they always have huge prams too?
Is it me, or do they always have huge prams too?
Well they can certainly afford huge prams for their luxury children. Yes my observations would seem to concur.
_________________
AQ: 32 (up to 37 when answering instinctively); EQ: 21 - 24; SQ: 31
Reading the Mind in the Eyes: 32
RAADS-R: 85
RDOS Aspie score: 115/200; NT score: 79/200
Don't worry, I'm the same. I have a whole list of things what people do that annoy me, and I bet nearly everyone here can relate to nearly all of them:-
1/ People staring at me (prolonged) for no reason
2/ People standing in my personal space in shops (unless I know them)
3/ People creeping up from behind me in shops and always needing to get to wherever I'm standing
4/ People jostling me, and being impatient
5/ People letting their kids run around like maniacs
6/ Teenage girls who keep giggling
7/ People walking slow/stopping dead right in front of me as though they think they're the only ones around - and they say Aspies are the self-centered ones
8/ Women who are so desperate to go into clothes shops that they act like they're going to die if they don't
9/ People with loud coughs (I know they can't help it but still annoys me)
10/ People who suddenly talk loud on their phone as they pass me, and me thinking they're talking to me
11/ People who bring large buggys into small shops and expect everyone to get out of their way
12/ People that stink
13/ People sitting next to me on the bus, and not moving even when the bus it getting empty
14/ People who try to act cool
I should of replaced ''people'' with ''snotty old women'', because they seem to lack manners and patience (the menopause must do something to them, because it mostly seems to be women in their 60s who annoy me the most).
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Female
Also true. Since this stuff disturbs me deeply, for too long, I do have to make a conscious effort to prioritize.
Generally treated like a cross between Lurch from the Adams Family and Sloth from the Goonies. Just as someone who is well built, eats three square meals a day, and is physically active, I've had these people run into me, while I'm standing there, bounce off, tell me to watch out.
I agree that snotty old women are often the worst. Every time I go out in my town some horrible old woman or other gives me the filthiest look for having the audacity to hold the door open or something. I actually suspect the reason for the filthy looks is the fact I actually exist and fail to meet their expectation of the kind of person they want living in their town. The town where I live, Southport, is full of loads of people who have pretensions of being upper crust. I think that they think that I make the place look untidy or something. It makes me really angry. Every time I, for example, hold the door open for an old lady with a smile and get a filthy look in return for it I make a point of saying "YOU'RE WELCOME!" loudly in the hope of making them feel crappy about their rudeness. Not that I ever imagine it works as these people just think they are better than everyone else. If everyone like that dropped dead tomorrow the world would be a much nicer place... these are the same attitudes that lead to racism, homophobia, "ethnic cleansing" and stuff like that. I'd push the button to make it happen with no qualms.
