I love you

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Anyone find it really difficult to say that?

I've managed to upset some girlfriends before when they've said "I love you" and I respond with "Yeah... I really like you."


I mean, its not malicious, I just find it too awkward to say. Oh and public displays of affection - what a nightmare.

I have a difficult time initiating it. I don't seem to mind saying "I love you, too".

Well meaning it is always the problem.

My husbands been trying to adequitely define the word for me for years

I'm in the same boat as you guys. I'm able to say it (sort of unwillingly) but I don't think I've ever meant it, even once.

I cannot seem to tell people I love them. There was the ultimate perfect moment to tell my boyfriend that I love him last night and I just couldn't do it. If it were the other way round though i.e. he tells me first, then I find it much easier to say 'I love you too'. I don't say it unless I mean it though. But I really meant it last night but couldn't say it. I find this frustrating.

Hmm... maybe it is about meaning it. I mean I don't think I've ever been more than fond of my partners. Some of them I've thoroughly despised.

My Mum's friend is having bad, bad relationship problems with her husband, who is having an affair. I still struggle to understand the problem... I don't understand this relationship-love concept.

My problem with the word "love" is that it's far too ambiguous, there are so many connotations to the word that's it's impossible to truly know what is meant by it. This makes me uncomfortable and i avoid it, even refusing to buy cards containing it.
If my Mother says it to me i will usually mumble either something resembling "you too" or "ditto" or refuse to respond. Luckily, she no longer feels hurt when i refuse to reciprocate.

Yes, it's completely impossible.

I told my mother once ( i was contemplating suicide.)
Now, i feel guilty that i never told my dad: i think he feels left out.

As for girlfriends: admitting that the concept maybe a possibilty in the future does not do much for a relationship.

I'm reminded that somebody once said that if you say something repeatedly for some length of time, then the word loses it's meaning. Can't think who said this, but it could be good therapy.

I'm also reminded of an Seinfeld episode in which George mumbles it to someone who is deaf in one ear.
But i digress..

When in doubt... mumble.

My mother and my nan I am capable of saying that I love... but thats different.


But even with that my mother and me have a very difficult relationship. I left home when I was 16, and she keeps bringing that up and saying that it still upsets her - I have no idea why. I just get irritated that she keeps mentioning it, I had fairly much forgotten about it with a week of coming home a few months later. I mean, I didn't see the big deal. We were arguing, then we weren't.

Does anyone else ever get that? People holding grudges or still being upset about something that you have no understanding of?


Sorry, I'm waffling but it would be good to know that this is an Aspie thing.

Maybe she's trying to drop a hint, indicate that she wishes to discuss the subject, you could just ask her to explain exactly what she means, or what she wants, explain that you don't understand why she keeps on bringing it up, she might just want you to acknowledge her. Sometimes subtleties are hard.

I find it hard to say, but not impossible. It's a phrase which should be very special, so I don't use it too often. The power of the words is undermined, otherwise.