Aspies that have a aspie parent...

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Do y'all ever feel resentment towards them?

Like upset that they decided to have kids knowing that its possible that there undesirable traits (Autism) might pass on to their kids?

I'm a aspie and would never want to have kids for that reason alone...

then there's the situation where some of us might have aspie parents but they are not aware of it, but they try to criticize you when your aspie-ness holds back your potential for success in life. Not acknowledging that fact that you are autistic but getting on your case like you're a NT or something.

Yea, there's are aspie success stories out there I think we can all agree to that, but on the same note, lets be honest here, thanks to our aspie/autism some of us just won't be able to hold a job and our "traits" might end up getting us fired, so the best option for income for some of us is disability.

Sorry for ranting but I just want to hear how y'all feel about this...

Nah, not really. My dad's an aspie, but he's pretty worldly. In fact, I think he would have done a better job raising me than my mom did, mainly because he would have understood me better.

I don't know if Dad was diagnosably Aspie, but he was certainly on the spectrum -- his "depressions" closely resemble my path to shutdown, and he seemed to need a certain amount of solitary downtime.

My folks had no idea that there was Autism in the bloodline, and I have no doubt that had they known I was Aspie, they would certainly have done more to help. As it was, they did the best they could with the resources and knowledge available to them, and that is all I ever ask of anyone.

I think my bestest friend did a great job raising her daughter!

imho: part of the problem that young Aspies face is the fact that society expects you to be independent by early 20's when, for many, the nervous system just isn't yet ready to fly the nest. Greater awareness and acceptance that this is physiological, and not a moral or intellectual failing would go a long way.

I am so glad that I have Aspie/BAP parents instead of NT parents, so so so glad. My parents care much less about the social stuff than NT parents would care. They are not much social themselves.

No, because he wouldn't have had a clue that he could pass AS down. In the late 60s, this was definitely not general knowledge. Nor was information about ASD really circulating at that time. You were either 100% non-communicative and completely devoid of self help skills, or you just weren't autistic, period.

Also, here's something from the perspective of BEING a parent. I didn't realize there was/could be a genetic component to ASD when I got pregnant with my third son (my second son hadn't yet been DXd autistic but did have a DX of PDD-NOS at that time). If I had realized it, I'm ashamed to say I don't think I would have gotten pregnant again. It just feels like life is too hard with ASD at times.

Yet that would mean I wouldn't have my little buddy. He wouldn't be here to love life and to bring happiness to others as well. So...I don't know. I'm not sure whether to be philosophical about this or not but I personally am almost kind of glad I didn't know about the genetic factor when I got pregnant with my last child.

I don't know...maybe my parents would have felt the same way.

When she was pregnant with me, my mother was injected with a prescribed medication, now known to exacerbate these traits. I am resigned to my fate and do not resent myself.

I could tolerate hearing that someone acted in good faith and stands by their decisions.

I do resent asking what were you doing, why did you do it, and drawing a blank.

Not in the least, in fact, I'm quite proud of my dad for doing all that he did despite what I recognize now as undiagnosed AS. Even after my mom took off and left four kids (two of which weren't even his) for him to take care of, he managed to take care of us, keep food on the table, clothes on our back, and a roof over our heads.



I'm now the proud mother of an 8 year old with ADD/ODD and undiagnosed AS. I wouldn't have passed that up for the world. Now that I understand, I can better prepare him for the world.

My mother is undiagnosed, but I love them both. They did the best, given the knowledge they had. Very few people were diagnosed until the 2000s and I held back a lot of my issues from them. Zero resentment.

NTs are boring people who are interested in boring things and lead boring lives. So glad I'm not working some stupid job I hate for the rest of my life, using all my free time to watch mindless TV, buying a house I can't afford and marrying some annoying girl I don't actually like because I'm afraid to be alone, like all my NT friends are. Who wants to be normal?

I'm going through a difficult one because of this - both my parents I think have aspie traits, I'm about to be assessed for AS, so I'm asking them to help with the assessment, thing is, they are in denial about my and their Aspie-ness...

Does anyone know where I could get a good list of questions I could ask them about my childhood etc... to help with my assessment --- bearing in mind they may have it too?

I am resentful that they didnt suggest I get tested, even though they were dropped so many hints by schools, and friends, that I just wasnt like other kids...its as if they didnt want to see it in themselves...

anyway any suggestions appreciated

I used to have a lot of resentment toward my dad - he is at least autistoid (i.e he has lots of traits) -my mom thinks he's diagnosable. The resentment wasn't for passing on his genes to me but because he didn't make a very good parent and the reasons for that one could argue are related to ASD traits. Recently (4 or 5 years ago) I forgave him because I realized that he and I are very similar and that I would likely be a similar kind of parent hypothetically.......I'm not planning to have children.

My dad is very similar to me. I admire him for what he's achieved. He's given me a great upbringing and has done well with his career. He's not very good at connecting with people so he was a better provider than a father when I was a child, but we've grown closer now that I'm older. I have only spoken to him about AS once. I think he's built up too many coping mechanisms and walls to ever accept that he has anything like AS but he's always known he's different. I'm actually looking forward to having kids and being a stay at home dad.

Neither of my parents are on the spectrum, but one of them does have considerable cognitive dysfunction. My father is agoraphobic and has panic disorder. He is also quite stupid but just functional enough to do damage. For instance, he is capable of running his own business. He is capable of procreation. He also has the capacity to make wildly ill-advised financial decisions and to be a horribly incompetent father. On a number of occasions he has been given opportunity to thrive in his business but will inevitably run it back into the ground and file bankruptcy. He ran out on our family when I was eleven years old, leaving my mother to support myself and my three siblings.

I absolutely resent him. He should not have been allowed to breed. My birth was an accident, I am the youngest in my family by seven years and was born during a time of particular financial trouble for my family. I blame him for my existence.

I don't exactly fit here, but I am fairly certain my grandfather had either AS or HFA (undiagnosed). I was closer to him than almost anyone in my life, and I think it is because he never judged me the way everyone else did. No resentment whatsoever. (I did live with him for a little while as well, and saw him almost as much as my own parents).