Do you ever think...?

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The Question: Do you ever think your social deficits might be due in part to a difficulty with social multitasking???

I ask this because I seem to be better at pointing out social mistakes of others I observe, but when I am in the situation, myself, I maybe end up doing the same thing or something similar.

It's almost if I could only see every situation from the observer's point of view, I could be much more socially adept. But if I'm the one interacting, I am concentrating on too many things at once and not handling them well and I end up doing something stupid.

If I could just have time to logically consider every action, take it home and roll it over in my mind before embarking on it-- maybe even see a video tape of the situation-- my social skills would be average!

sounds like a viable theory to me, Sophist. i know that i appear to be nearly "normal" by basing interactions on previous experience (whether mine or from watching and studying others - including books, films and telly), and i think quickly. working people out is something i've been studying (hard) for nearly 30 years, so i'm bloody good at it, now. but then, i'm older than most here, so have had far more time to practise.

You might be right, but I didn´t think of it in these words, so I voted no.

I know I prefer one-to-one conversation to one-to-multi, which is according to your hypothesis.

Furthermore I prefer written language above spoken language because in that case I have a longer time to formulate, what I want to say. I have no problem with e-mailing for example.

The same exact thing had actually occurred to me a few days ago. Holding a conversation, reading nonverbal cues and giving out appropriate ones of my own, figuring out undertones in the language, and thinking of what to reply with takes so much space in my head that I don't have any room for anything else. I'm pretty good at multitasking with other things, but I absolutely can not hold a conversation while doing anything else at the same time. I often stammer when I'm talking, especially when I'm nervous, because I just can't think straight when I'm talking with someone (I figured out this is the reason I like to rehearse conversations far in advance). When I've got to wing a conversation or recall several facts to make my point, I fail and sound like I don't know what I'm talking about, even if it would be a piece of cake if I were alone.

I voted yes, I can definatly relate.

I honestly don't think that's my main personal problem. I'm not usually analyzing all I'm trying to do. I think my main handicap is that I can't remember names and am therefore lost in any name-dropping conversation. This coupled with how few movies I've watched, how little msuic I listen to, and the fact that I'm new to the area and kind of had no childhood, make conversation hard, even discounting my mild verbal processing problems (not bad enough to be CAPD but I thought I had poor hearing at one point; I can't process spoken words as well as I should).

I voted No.

I'm pretty aware how I appear to other people and it doesn't help at all. I know i'm acting weird around them, but I cannot change. I will blush beetroot red and stutter.

I tend to have a difficulty with 'multi-tasking' generally; I seem to get stressed when I am being made to do more than one thing at once, or when I have stuff piling up, but I think everyone has that. I also have difficulties with someone trying to sustain a conversation over the sound of police/ambulance/fire sirens going past, while they are still trying to speak under it. I don't know why they cannot shut up until the siren noise has gone. Similarly, I don't like constant interruptions when I am trying to do something such as the phone ringing when I am at the computer, or if I am part way through one thing and I get told to do something else (ie at work).

On the social scene, I tend to let myself drift out of the conversation when lots of people are babbling at once then they wonder why I am not saying anything. I used to have difficulty following a conversation when I was expected to look at people at the same time - I used to 'over-look' at them but I have solved this problem by not looking at them and concentrating on what they say.

I tend to find 'multi-noise' places to be quite distracting though the problem does diminish once I have had a few drinks and the crowd starts to 'thin' somewhat.