Do you talk about Asperger's Syndrome with your family?

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Tom_FL_MA
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22 Jul 2004, 12:38 am

This is probably an odd question for many, if not all of you.....

For some reason my parents and me never say "Asperger's" amongst ourselves. The only time it is brought up is when my brother comes over to visit (he lives about 100 miles from here). It isn't even mention much if at all when my four other siblings are visiting (from Massachusetts).

It was nice to see AS discussed on "Dayside with Linda Vester" and "Heartland with John Kasich," discussing nine-year-old Jan Rankowski, the boy from Falmouth, Maine who was showed aggressive and rude behavior.

They (my parents) were commenting about how they don't feel Jan is showing symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome, I was trying to say that sure he does, but then the story is over and I never feel like bringing up {"for no reason"}.



Last edited by Tom_FL_MA on 23 Jul 2004, 2:51 am, edited 2 times in total.

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22 Jul 2004, 1:22 am

The whole AS thing is new (about a month) around here. It is new vocabulary with my father and I. We do talk about it as we are both still learning. I am currently living with him so we have many oppurtunities to discuss it. So far, all of the conversations have been good. We are both reading the same books so it is fun to argue about our different interpretations of what the author was suggesting. We go back to the books to settle the issues.

My father once told my mother that he did not understand me and that he thought that I did not like him. I have been trying to help him with this since she told me. The discovery of Asperger's Syndrome helps alot with this. It explains alot. It also explains why I have four Volvo's. Two in the driveway and two in the basement. The ones in the basement are dismantled and kept for their spare parts. Obsessions. I thought they were good cars, turns out its AS.



Tom_FL_MA
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22 Jul 2004, 1:29 am

Prior to my diagnoses and when I was first diagnosed, we mentioned it "more than it could have been."

My mother ordered two books on Asperger's Syndrome, in fact they came the day our the day our (well my brother's) computer arrived in late February 1999 for the start of my daily internet access, [aside from a month during my move to Florida in June 2000].

There was a period of time I would read these books in view of my parents (especially my mother) here in my room and then I got away from that, not much to read in them on a continuous basis.

I have a third, larger book on AS, I got for my birthday two years ago, this month. I read right through it in about a week. It was the fastest I have ever read a book in my life and probably will be for a long time.



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22 Jul 2004, 2:22 am

There are some aspects of myself that I cannot talk about with my father or here on wrongplanet.net. I was wondering if anybody else might feel the same way. I try my best to keep my threads relevant for everybody but sometimes desire to 'check heads' on other issues and decisions. If you Tom or anybody else wants to send me an email or private message or instant message please feel free. I am a bit inept at times but once I get used to you I can communicate well. Email is probably the best as I am a slow typist. Just thought I would offer incase anyone feels that they would like to talk more.



Tom_FL_MA
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22 Jul 2004, 2:27 am

There may be some things I wouldn't bring up here or in a one on one instant message conversation, but I am much more open online than I am in person.

Great idea, focusesd. I am willing to chat with anyone on AIM (or YIM). Although, I feel that I may be bothering some of those I have on my buddylists. Sometimes after an initial "Hi" or the like, there isn't much else to say; I wouldn't say that is the same as what I mentioned above.



Last edited by Tom_FL_MA on 22 Jul 2004, 2:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

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22 Jul 2004, 2:38 am

I've only mentioned the fact that I most likely have aspergers to only one other person, a stocker I work with, one night I was watching him fling cans on the shelves with lightning speed and I made an innocent comment to him that I wish I could go that fast. He told me that with practice I could, I then delved into apsergers and how it's given me lousy hand-eye coridination and fine motor skills. I was meet with nodding understandment. He's the only NT I've meet so far that I feel comfortable in telling my situation to. I haven't even told my only friend that I most likely have it

I have yet to bring the subject up to my parents and probably will never do so. For one thing, I stumbled across aspergers by total coincidence, plus even if I was (or when I'am) diagnosed, they'd take up the position that mind over matter with the proper meds can solve almost any problem like they did when I was diagnosed with ADHD in August of 1990, a diagnoses which I now feel was incorrect.

BTW, those meds I had to take screwed with me more than my mis-wired brain ever did.


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Torley_Wong
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22 Jul 2004, 2:42 am

I say "Asperger's" or "Aspie" or "autistic" or some variation on that theme just about every time I have a drawn-out, extensive conversation with family. Obsessed with this obsession I am, yes (I could say that in a Yoda voice). My Mom sometimes gets sick of me mentioning it so much, but I persist in the long-term because she used to doubt such a thing existed -- now, through me trying not to be a nag but show her evidence and news stories as they come along, she's becoming increasingly convinced.

I have tried to be a jaded skeptic of Asperger's and tried to disprove it -- at least within myself -- a great many times. All efforts have failed, so I must be onto something by now. I am still very excited at what the future holds for us.

I think I first found about it in late '00, so not too far from your timeline, Tom. I need to read more books on AS. I'm not too interested in dryly-written technical manuals (although they do provide a much-needed backbone), but I like hearing inspiring personal stories.

focused, good one on the Volvos. I could see myself doing that too with VW cars if I ever had a chance. Or some other brand, whatever I get obsessed with then. I have a lot of strange interpretations of art. Happily strange.



Amy
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22 Jul 2004, 5:31 am

My son and I both have AS so it is mentioned more than in other households I would think. :)



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22 Jul 2004, 8:35 am

:)



Last edited by LadyBug on 26 Jul 2004, 4:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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22 Jul 2004, 12:26 pm

I don't. As sad as it sounds, my family (besides my parents) would betray me and never speak to me again the same. As sad as it sounds, I am 100% sure this is the way it would work out.



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01 Aug 2005, 7:36 am

I do talk about Aspergers with my family sometimes but don't have all that much contact with them now. They try and be understanding about it but don't always realise the practical difficulties I have in looking after myself sometimes. I do feel at times I am a disappointment to my family but other times realise they are happy about what I've achieved in life despite having a disability.


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MovieMogul
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01 Aug 2005, 8:33 am

Well, I'm not officially diagnosed (hoping to 'rectify' this ASAP) but my family don't talk about it. I've mentioned it a couple of times so I won't give the whole backstory, but I'm aware that my mother knew of the possibility that I might have Asperger's ever since 1998. She has an explanation why do all the things she finds odd, and she doesn't inform me. And I was always wondering why I'm so different.

So, with this little thing between us, Asperger's has never come up.


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01 Aug 2005, 8:36 am

I talk about AS all the time, I am still figuring myself out, why I do cetain things, etc. and often these things need to be explained.
Other than to my immediate family, I don't talk about it unless it comes up naturally. My AS is not something I'm going to bother to hide, but I'm not going to go around just telling everyone.



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01 Aug 2005, 9:00 am

"Do you talk about Asperger's Syndrome with your family? "

No.

My husband is aware of AS, but it didn't change his opinions/feelings one way or the other about myself or our son. Which is good! :D He couldn't care less about labels. It remains totally outside his sphere of consciousness.

My parents - never. They don't have a clue, and I have no plans to give them a clue.

My son and I discuss it in a positive light.



danlo
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01 Aug 2005, 9:36 am

Everyone in my family has always known about my autism. I haven't really had any conversations with any of my siblings about it, though I've discussed it with my mum a couple of times.
Here's an extract from an email I sent my mum a couple of weeks ago, which might help to explain how its like in my family:

Quote:
I haven't been able to discuss autism with you because it is almost a taboo subject, and that attitude towards it has become ingrained in my conversation routines. Even our conversations are subject, even somewhat more flexibly, towards routine and scripts. It is not in my nature to be open about the nature of autism with which I am 'endowed'; much of the past 10 years I have been in the dark about what it really is. I think we all were. Unfortunately, the way we grew up with it, it simply being a word to which we would ascribe everything and anything about my odd behaviors and mannerisms, it has almost become a taboo subject. Because we grew up with it, it is not considered by my siblings to be anything out of the ordinary, just that my personality has some aspects that happened to also have a label. If they think about it at all.



Malcolm_Scipo
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01 Aug 2005, 2:54 pm

I sometimes discuss my Asperger's, but not much as I generally talk to my parents about other things. My dad about archery and argue with my mother due to my wierd individuality.


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