Wanting to go out all time... yet never enjoying it...

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...and always coming back home feeling like you bored your ass off, despite of doing perfectly what other people consider as having fun, being social etc...

Yet despite all of this you still want to go out all the time, hoping that once you will find the thing you were looking for and going outside for, even when you're not even sure what it is...

Sums up my life.

Think it has something to do with having a very limited amount of interests, because I know I'm never feeling depressed or unhappy for more than one day in like a month or a year and I'm always having quite some fun when I'm home, yet I still desire that extra that going out seems to offer, yet I can't seem to find it while I'm at it.

Damn...

Common for aspies or people with autism?

I suffer from the same problem. I make a social investment and it doesn't pay off at all.

I wasted most of my youth doing that. If the internet had been around as much back then, I could've found something more useful to do.

It was common for me when I was younger.

Wasted so much time and wrecked myself in the process.

I went through a phase of going out and trying to do normal young person things but not enjoying it at all, not making new friends or connections and being overwhelmed and yet doing it again and again. Finally I gave up and stopped going out (to malls or pubs ect.- I still go swimming and for walks and to the library). I'm much happier this way. Those young person places are only fun in theory. In reality they're noisy , crowded sensory hells and you're still the same awkward, socially inept person at them.

Yep, I kind of look forward to social gatherings or parties but when I'm actually there I can't wait to leave. I mingle and act normal but the whole thing is a rather draining experience.

I only enjoy going out and doing those types of things with people I already know. Going to a party alone to see a bunch of people I don't know well I'm guaranteed to be both uncomfortable and bored. I just don't "meet new people" in that kind of environment.

I'm also guilty of doing this just as the OP said, I was sure that if I found the right place or the right thing to do, I'd be as happy as everyone else. The truth is, most of the time I was bored, uncomfortable, or confused when I made myself be social. I really love spending a quiet night by myself, I have a lot more energy later, I don't have as many meltdowns from being exhausted and it saves a lot of money.

I can relate to pretty everyones posts and I don't go out alot, usually never in a group of more then 1-2 or so and always with people I feel comfortable with. I think wanting to go and do things in life is a natural want that should not be completely iqnored, to enjoy it I think you need to learn to plan and predict the future a little bit. Research and imagine where your going and who your going with and what might happen. You then may get an idea of if going is even a good idea and plan what you may able to do or bring to make it better(example, if its a loud and crowded concert you may want to bring ear plugs and arrive early to get a chair to yourself). Often the anwser is no I doubt I would enjoy it however sometimes the anwser is yes. Thats what I try to do anyway as its usually with the same people and venues so it can be predicted to a degree, I never just go anywhere without doing a little research.

I think social life for most of us is like basically a permanent trial and error, talking through people or next to them, instead of to them, despite of countless efforts.

And in the end of the day, the whole world knows who we are yet we're still totally there where we used to be half a decade ago before we started.

But it's better than being a white closet blob (health wise), isn't it?

At least because of this our body physique got trained the way other people's has by doing all the stuff everybody else does.

I stopped trying as soon as I realised I didn't really enjoy it.

You can get out and exercise without it involving other people. Socialising is not required in order to involve "being a white closet blob".

I have never been one to want to socialize. I like doing things with my family, but that's about it. The only regular thing I do that involves other people (other than my job) is going to church on Sunday---I am the church organist. But being on the organ bench places me away from the congregation. However, for the sermon, I set with my family.

Sounds pretty much like my life. The most exciting things I do that involve going out include going to the bookstore and the library, and that's basically it. Any time there's the prospect of a new social function, a party my mom's throwing or some such, I'm always determined to make it turn out well, to socialise normally and seem like a fun person... but twenty minutes in I always end up hiding out in my room because the people are too loud, the space is too crowded, and I don't know how to start a conversation, and even if I did it would involve small-talk which is boring. I even disappeared during both my mom's and my mom's best friend's wedding receptions last year.

I have a similar problem, sometimes I really enjoy going out with friends but other times it's a living hell if it gets too loud, you can't join in a conversation and the conversation is something upsetting for someone with ASD.

I find I enjoy going out most if it's with just a couple of friends and we discuss things relevant to our interests.

Yes, all in all, it really was a waste of time with nothing to show for it. I spent many evenings at a local bar in my community when I was younger. Bored, tired and always bothered by the music. When I went back there the other day after living elsewhere for many years, that place no longer exists. An apartment building is being raised on the site now.

I used to get the feeling that if my friends went out without me..
they would have the best time of their lives. it would be amazing and that if i was staying in id miss out on it..
sadly i never really have enjoyed it, i thik the idea that everyones having an amazing time is fading finally.