Straight men: Have you ever been called gay before?

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Deinonychus
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05 Jan 2013, 1:01 am

I read that some boys/men with autism do not display typical masculine traits and as a result are often thought of as gay. I've had plenty of people call me gay for apparently displaying behaviour associated with gay men. Such as being organized, tidy, being clean, cleaning and not having a girlfriend/displaying active interest in women (i.e. sleeping around).

Regarding cleaning, I've never really given any thought as to how effeminate it is to for men to clean. If something needs to be cleaned, I just clean it. I don't particularly enjoy cleaning but I do it regularly and I don't see how that makes me appear gay but a lot of people I've encountered think that.



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05 Jan 2013, 1:18 am

Yes, but I don't care.



CyclopsSummers
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05 Jan 2013, 1:21 am

I've been called 'straight' before, and I possess the superpower of being invisible to most gaydars.

I'm gender-neutral/gender-ambiguous in style and attitude. When I'm among machos, I'll appear effeminate, and when I'm among a more feminine crowd, I'll be 'the guy'. All my adult role models growing up were women, so I can imagine that that's contributed to how comfortable I've grown with my 'feminine sides'.


EDIT: I'm not hetero btw. Not that there's anything wrong with that :P


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billiscool
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05 Jan 2013, 1:23 am

yes..



Sylant
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05 Jan 2013, 2:16 am

Of course, but i'm not really a 'macho man' so I don't mind, seems that some people are just very preoccupied with other peoples sexuality. I remember once going to a friends house when I was younger, and as I took my shoes off to enter his house his brother noticed my socks had a pink stripe around the middle.

The brother said something along the line of "Are those women's socks, are you gay?". I didn't say anything, but I remember thinking it was really weird this guy wanted to determine my sexuality based on a pair of socks.



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05 Jan 2013, 2:19 am

I've been told I do some things with a 'certain flare.' I have also been mocked for certain gestures I've done in a manner that implied they were calling me gay. I've never been offended by it either. What does bother me is people calling me out on certain behaviors.

Straight and happily married and happily voted for MD gay marriage! 8)



Sylvastor
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05 Jan 2013, 2:22 am

Yes, but I guess it was more just because for the sake of bullying, didn't really work because I didn't really feel offended by that but usually worse things followed - how I hated that period of my life.
Nowadays, nobody called me gay, that's why I guess it was simply part of the bullying.


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aspiemike
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05 Jan 2013, 2:41 am

Yes.... even gay people thought I was gay. My inability to find women or lack of interest sometimes have people questioning whether I am gay or not.



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05 Jan 2013, 3:01 am

I don't think anyone (as far as I know) has ever actually thought I was gay. In elementary school and a bit in high school, people would sometimes call me gay as a form of harassment, but I don't think any of them actually thought I was.

My interests, skills, etc. cover a mixture of stereotypically masculine and stereotypically feminine things, but nothing extremely "manly" nor "girly". The net effect seems to be that I appear to be an unconventional, straight male -- which happens to be correct in my case.



Stargazer43
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05 Jan 2013, 4:07 am

Negative! Hopefully I never will be, either.



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05 Jan 2013, 4:28 am

Yes. By the logic: "He's strange, so he must be gay."

It was also because of my long hair – which I absolutely don't understand, because I know some gay men and a lot of men with long hair, but absolutely no gay men with long hair.



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05 Jan 2013, 5:22 am

Yes, but I don't really care. People thinking you are gay, especially girls, gives you a few bonuses.


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05 Jan 2013, 5:34 am

The one time this happened to me was recently. There were a group of people I tried to befriend at the dog park. The husband and wife I liked, two others were tolerable, one woman... well there was something wrong with her, bordeline I think. This one woman stressed me out so much I just stopped seeing all of them. During this time I found out she was starting some speculation about me being gay. Then she just asked me in front of the group. Her thinking was (so she said) that I'm not married, no kids, no girlfriend so I must be gay. Later it came out that she was 'interested' in me and I had missed all of her 'hints'. Yes I did miss her hints, as I tend to do. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was a nasty skank so I told her she's too old for me. Damn was she pissed off at that :lol:



DoniiMann
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05 Jan 2013, 6:14 am

Yep. Was single til I was 30. Learned cake decorating from two gay guys and often socialised in gay bars. People assumed I was gay.

But I'm hetero, married with kids.

Does it matter? Nope. Gay, hetero, whatever. All that matters is that sexual relationships are adult and consensual.


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izzeme
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05 Jan 2013, 6:17 am

not flat-out, but i have had the typical subtile questionings.
as cyclops said, i too am more neutral in my behaviour, but i display sufficient masculine traits to stay away from most of the questions, although that might be becouse in most of my peergroups, there are some actual gays as well, which draw the flack away from me.
(nothing wrong with gay people, some of my best friends are; just as long as they know that i'm straight)



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05 Jan 2013, 6:46 am

No