Special Interest dilemma

Post Reply New Topic

I have an odd situation when it comes to my special interests and I don't know if anyone else here has experienced this.

When I get absorbed in something I do love to share my special interest in discussion and activities. However, when it comes to my husband, who tends to hijack special interests, I tend to lose interest. I think it's because when I am absorbed in a special interest, I immerse myself and take it at a pace that I like. When my husband hijacks the interest he tends to push me along and I hate that feeling, and I feel that something gets lost when I feel someone else is running the special interest show. I sort of feel guilty like, I should be happy that my husband wants to share my special interest with me, but I hate feeling out of control on someone else's terms. I don't mind being out of control on my own terms though, LOL
Am I just a control freak? Can anyone relate?

Without specific examples I can't say for sure if I can relate. Have you considered that maybe your husband is subtlety being controlling and that's why you feel out of control?

I never would have thought that. I think he just gets over excited and thinks that I am right there with him in his excitement. I have to say, I've probably been guilty of this myself.

I relate to this completely! The same thing tends to happen between my boyfriend and I. For me, part of the joy and comfort I get from a special project is from the tedious details and my boyfriend is an engineer so his mind automatically focuses on the goal and the most efficient way to get there. He gets so frustrated at me for choosing and actually preferring to do things the "long" way, lol. He also sees "taking over" as a way he can help me, like he is taking it off my plate for me. I have had to explain more than once that the result isn't necessarily even important to me, for example maybe I'll decide I want to sew a bag out of some funky scraps from our rag bag, I may never even look at the bag again once it's done, I just want to make it. His sweet practical mind can see no point to that.

My passion is restoring old British sports cars from the 60's and 70s, a friend was always suggesting he came round and helped me with it... the thought of it made me cringe, it was my alone time in the garage, doing my thing.

Stu