New Aspie - How to control Focus (need it on)

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Where do I go from here?

For the past few months I have been having a really hard time with depression and anxiety...actually, since my daughter was born 17 months ago, but the last few months have been really tough. I've been seeing a psychologist for about 9 months, but we decided it was time that I see a psychiatrist so that she can manage my meds better than my general practitioner.

I had an hour and a half consult with a local psychiatrist. At the end of the consult, she asks me how familiar I am with aspergers. I am moderately familiar, to the point that I've told my wife that I thought I might be mildly autistic previously (which she assured me I was not). She (shrink) then tells me that she feels I likely have aspergers, but she wants me to do some reading before we meet again.

So, I came home and did my homework. Holy Shitake Mushrooms! This explains everything about me that's always been "not quite right". It explains why I shut down when my routines are messed up, it explains why I shut down when my daughter was born, it explains how I routinely forget to eat (until I get dizzy from hypoglycemia), it explains my noise sensitivities, touch sensitivities, foot in mouth statements, previous smell sensitivities, everything.

In fact for the last two days all I keep remembering is stuff from my childhood. Stuff that people didn't understand, stuff that I just accepted because it was the way I was. It was enlightenment after enlightenment...all of a sudden I identified with a group. I wasn't my wife's husband, the loner that waits at home for her to come home and spends his days selling stuff on Ebay when he isn't otherwise shut down because something messed up his schedule.

But now I'm back to Monday. I need to get things done, I need to get auctions listed, I need to clean my workshop, I need to do homework...and I just sit there staring at it. Not wanting to get dirty, not feeling like I have the energy to throw myself into a project.

So...how do I move forward?

Do I add more structure and start rigidly following it? Or do I continue to try to break things up?

How do I turn the focus on? My life is dependant upon the focus, but it is exhausting to try to force. When I've got the focus, almost nothing can break it, but when it's gone, it stays away for too long.

Start trying to do what you can - but whatever you do, the process of reassessing your life is going to take time, and there will be moments it will interrupt your focus. I didn't figure out what was "wrong" with me until I was 51, and after two and a half years, I still have moments...

On the positive side, now that you know what you're dealing with, over time you'll be able to figure out how to deal at least somewhat more effectively with some of it. In 2012, I managed to write more than I'd written in my entire life to date. In part, that was building on things I'd been doing since 2006 - but in part, it was also due to understanding myself better.