can a person go from aspie to non-aspie??

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It was my personal goal since I was 15. I'm 21 now, and I can say I've made a lot of progress.

Actually, when I had a therapist last year, she said something like this to me:
"Your eye contact is perfect, you're receptive to body language, you pick up social cues, you are self-aware and conscientious, and you understand the nuances of conversation. You don't seem like you are on the spectrum at all. I wouldn't have known if you told me"

5 years ago, I didn't have ANY of those qualities.

And some of my friends that I've told that I was on the spectrum were surprised as well, because I didn't seem any different than anyone else.

I do feel like these labels are often depended on too much, and it often develops an "us versus them" mentality. Psychology is very young, and these categories and classifications will change over time though. The more I hear "Someone who is Aspie will always be Aspie, they can never change and they are just living a fake life pretending to be NT", the more I'm skeptical of it.

Because in the end, if there is criteria for Aspergers and I don't a significant number of traits, then I'm not really on the spectrum anymore.

So basically, where I'm at now, is that I feel I'm not really an Aspie, but not really 100% Nuerotypical either, but I do feel like I lean ,overall, more to the side of non-Aspie.

do you think a person can go from aspie to non-aspie?

How then would it be possible for this girl to change her experiences she describes in this WP post? (Go from being Aspergian to NT) --> Offending people...

I changed as I grew up in the same way you did, but the 'Aspie' way I think can't change and that's what makes me wonder if it is possible for me to ever be socially acceptable.

you can go from self diagnosed to not diagnosed with ease if you change your mind,

Congratulations on learning social skills!

Like anything, it is easier for some of us than others. A similar example is buying clothes--it is really hard for a short older man to buy clothes--big and tall shops everywhere but nothing on the entire East Coast where you can buy decent clothes.

Social skills vary depending on context--in science, engineering, and medicine, there are lots of Aspies, so you may not need to be highly polished to fit in with NTs. The other extreme might be some social gatherings in which a lot of close personal contact is expected...

I think there is also an "in between" area where I believe I am at.

Most people, even doctors, wouldn't even suspect AS in me. However, my husband who has to endure me EVERY DAY, says "Oh yes, Wifey is AS" because he has seen my oddball quirks over the years-not just normal quirks but otherwise inexplicable quirks (why would Wife argue with Cashier on our honeymoon to be charged MORE for something because she said she read the Rules, when Cashier is saying NO, we can pay less?!). People who don't see you all the time are not going to catch it all. And as adults, we have very limited interactions with people outside our home. Even at work, if I sit at my desk all day, coworkers would not necessarily suspect anything unless I am in constant contact with them ALL THE TIME and in a multitude of situations--and that's not reasonable to expect. My friends also see different sides to me, and limited sides to me, because I don't live with them and not in stressful situations where my symptoms are more likely to come out. I have also inadvertently lost friends over my behavior and not even known it because I was oblivious to it, and just figured they haven't been in touch because they got busy (until I heard through a mutual friend that I really pissed them off a couple of years ago). Not everything is going to scream AS to you, because many educated, professional adults are more likely to distance themselves from you and be polite about your shortcomings, rather than bully you or laugh in your face. So, you may be correct in your assessment about yourself, or other people might just be very polite LOL

I wouldn't have thought so, but one can certainly learn how to make it less obvious.

I was formally diagnosed by two doctors, one when I was 12 and one when I was 15. As soon as I got that label, I resented it and wanted to change it. But the psychiatrists I've been to in 2012 have said that I really don't have the symptoms of a person with autism/aspergers.

So, there are criteria on what makes a person Aspie and not Aspie.



I really don't meet any of these really...

Well, honestly, it was a painful process to change. I was bullied, humiliated, rejected and outcasted over 100 times, but I kept getting back up. I took a lesson out of each failure, and all of a sudden, the same people who didn't wanna be seen with me started hanging out with me because they saw I matured over time.

I stopped blaming other people, and I looked at myself and what I did wrong. I observed socially successful people, distanced myself from other Aspies, and tried seeing what it was like being a nuerotypical. Basically, removing all bias. Because Aspies often have a biased perspective of social situations, and most people think their perspectives are objective when they're not. So I stopped seeing things on how I wanted to be and I started focusing on other peoples needs.

I realized that many Aspies don't succeed not just because they act inappropriately but because they aren't considerate to other people. And this is unintentional, an error of omission, but people on the spectrum naturally relate so much with themselves, that they aren't thinking of how the other person is feeling.

Now, for your next trick, try wearing an itchy acrylic sweater and letting all the foods touch each other on your plate, and install fluorescent overhead lights in your house!

i think there are several ways that aspies can stop meeting the criteria for being aspies, at least temporarily:

-they grow out of it, especially as they reach adulthood. aspies are usually most severe in childhood, and i have read that the majority of children diagnosed with the disorder would not meet the criteria in adulthood. this is because social behaviours can be learned, and sensory issues can become less severe, etc. this is usually not an intentional process, just a gradual maturation and shift. some of these people become worse again as they pass middle age.

-they become aware that they are different and intentionally try to "act" like NTs. some aspies have some success with this to varying degrees. i have worked as an actress and i have never had an issue with anyone noticing anything untoward. i can only keep it up short-term, whereas others can keep it up long term. it doesn't make me less aspie because if i am taken off guard/in an unusual situation/under stress/required to keep it up for too long i will revert to my usual self.

-they were never aspies to begin with but had other disorders that mimicked it, and with therapy or a different environment or over time their symptoms lessened or changed. something like OCD with social anxiety, for example. or bipolar disorder in some cycles.

I would appear so. I knew a girl at high school who seemed very Aspie. She always sat on her own in lessons and never had any friends so she hung around with the special ed kids (that included me). Each time NT kids asked her to join in, she always said no, and preferred to walk up and down the front school yard on her own. My (NT) cousin was in her class and she told me that this girl was a little odd and always isolated herself from the rest of the class. Then some other girls started bullying her.
And I know it wasn't anything to do with her upbringing because she had 2 brothers and a sister and I knew them and they were all right. And I went to her house a few times and her parents were just ordinary like mine, in fact my mum and her mum had known each other quite a long time.

But now it's been four or five years since I haven't seen this girl, but now coincidentally we both happen to work at the same place, and she seems like a completely different person. She can engage in conversation with other young people of our age in the first moment she meets them then quickly become friends with them, and she also has pictures of her going out clubbing on week-end nights with her friends on Facebook. She's not an extrovert I wouldn't say but she's not as introverted as she used to be, and she's certainly gained a lot of skills with making friends. She doesn't seem odd in any way at all either, and I'm usually quite good with recognising odd ways in other people.

So that's proof.

It's interesting. When I take these online Asperger's tests I always score in the "you're most likely an aspie" range. I take them to reassure myself especially since I don't look or behave like the stereotypical/Hollywood aspie - Sheldon Cooper, Spencer Reid, Adam, Snow Cake, Rain Man, etc. I also have serious avoidance issues so maybe that plays a part in my high aspie scoring.

Real autism isn't exactly well represented by those characters. The tests are showing that you have many traits of actual Asperger's, not a simplified, exaggerated and sometimes outright erroneous representation of it.

I don't think so.
If a person actually has Asperger's, the disorder should last for his/her whole life.
Some people with milder forms I met said that it was easier for them to pass as "normal", or "just a little particular", but that every now and then their aspie traits came out, even though they tried to hide them.
Bah, I don't really know about that, you should ask to people with milder forms, I don't have a mild form, therefore I can't tell it.

I think you can improve your ability to function in society at a higher level via various treatments/therapies/practices etc (and I have, too.) but that you'll never actually not be on the spectrum. If you were truly off the spectrum you wouldn't have to make a continuous intellectually processed effort to employ the various coping mechanisms you've mastered in order to fit in in the NT world - you'd just intuitively Be that way. But we never will truly be off the spectrum, we'll just be able to manage & control our traits and symptoms better and better to the point that others no longer perceive us to be on the spectrum because any traits that still outwardly exist are minimal & subtle vs. obvious to everyone.

When someone has a diagnosis of aspergers but as they age lose some of the trait/symptoms enough that they would no longer receive a diagnosis, this is called residual aspergers