Is stoicism a tool for Aspies.

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Although most people think of stoicism as about refraining from all emotions, it's actually more based on not reacting to emotion.

Your in fact expected to savor emotion more than deny it.

Anyway to the point from everything I know about it there seems to be a whole lot of potential for aspies. Remembering that we live in a very hedonistic world, were peolpe are expected to act emotionally as a norm, it's interesting to see that it's exceptionally useful for those of us that aren't so social.

There a few reasons why I think it works.

1) it exceptional useful for dealing with depression and misery, something we all know to well.

2) It gives very useful skills for dealing with attention issues, and other problems that arise from impulsive desire.

3) It helps deal with some deeper issues we have with socializing, and motivation.

4) There is a significant problem we have for gaining respect from others around us, stoicism offers a model for behaving around others that isn't totally foreign to how we behave naturally, yet at the same time allows us to get more respect.

5) It helps understand the mindset of the NT, as the process of not acting on emotion stress the importance of identifying emotion. One is better able to understand themselves at the same time gaining an ability to understand the emotional nature of nts.

Last edited by Stoek on 13 Mar 2013, 12:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Edit: Completely missed the point and just rambled.

Last edited by Urist on 13 Mar 2013, 1:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think you might be missing part of stoicism. It's not about denying emotion, it's actually quite the opposite. It's largely about identifying emotion, if one lacks an awareness of their emotions they are unable to control them.

Were usually taught by nts to either have destain for emotional behavior, or to live by it. I'm sure a great deal of our executive function issues come from the way in which were forced to repress our emotion.

In short emotion is like electricity, it's our only known source of fuel, however it can be exceptionally destructive force if one doesn't understand how to direct it.

The trick is learning to make decisions without the influence of emotion, and using that emotion to drive you once a decision has been made.

It's also important to remember emotion doesn't simple mean expressiing emotions like joy and sadness.

This is very much an nt definition.

Obsession for an aspie is just as powerful and useful of emotion than any other.

Part of our problem and this one is created by an nt society, is the way that emotions are expressed. We've been raised by a society that values the expression of emotion(being socioable), and acting by emotional desire(following your heart).

It's conceivable if the roman empire had stayed a pro stoic society, aspies would be treated very differently.

Again part of this is understanding the way in which your ego is driven by fear and insecurity. Part of the problem with aspies is we so often come across as overly egotistical. Stoicism requires one to be quite humble. So I think there is less of an issue with this.

Yeah, I probably did miss the point a bit there and only, barely referenced what I meant to say in the second part. Echem.

For someone with issues with connecting to other people, trying to reduce the impact of emotion upon how they react to their environment and others can keep them from ending up in fights and that sort of thing. Not reacting to the frustration or boredom you may experience with rudeness would most likely keep opinions about you a bit better. Stoicism is avoiding reacting in a significant way to your own emotions in an external way, and I can't see that helping with depression. I would think that trying to keep such emotion inside yourself rather than expressing it would make it far worse, I know it did for me.

I probably missed the point again, but that should be a bit closer to an actual answer.

Well the point with depression is that it's a complex process.It's usually an interaction of multiple things at once.

1) A permanent sense of displeasure with no real cause.
2) Dealing with external sources of stress such as financial pressures.
3) Environmental factors that you experienced as a child such as critical parents.
4) An outlook that doesn't allow for positive outcome(expectation to be perfect etc)
5) An unhealthy lifestyle, which can include bad sleep patters, diet, or other things that will interfere with your bodies natural order.

Number 4 obviously is quite easy to tackle with stoicism because it's about sorting out ones emotions, values, and decisions.
Number 5 again is targeted off the bat as how you live is of the up most importance.

Number 3 is a hard one, but since stoicism advocates identifying emotion, it's the best way to identify those feelings when the event that caused them is forgotten.

Number 1&2 are really the best point, because stoicism is about not letting your decisions be influenced by how you feel.

When your forced to deal with deep feelings of despair there is a massive risk that these feelings will bleed into your decision making.

We've all had a bad day for absolutely no reason, typically we try to seek out the cause of this pain but for us there is often no source but our neuro chemistry.

So your choice usually turns out to be get on drugs, or learning to built up a tolerance for this.

Stoicism is a very good tool for this.

Yes. I tend to intellectualize. I learned this as a child: If you can understand something, it's not as frightening. Even fear is not so overwhelming if you can say to yourself, "I am afraid. This is why. This is how it makes me act. This is what I should expect from myself."

I back away mentally from the emotion and analyze it, study it, understand it. Often I don't react to things that I should react to because I forget to communicate the emotion; I'm just standing back and thinking about it. Sometimes I react, but I separate myself from the reaction and think about that too. I remember being little and being scared out of my wits by my stepfather's rage, but stepping back from the situation, even while I was crying and begging, and thinking about what I was going to do next, how this had happened and how I was going to keep myself sane and safe.

My psychiatrist gets on my case sometimes about it, but as far as defense mechanisms go, it's not a particularly horrible one. Intellectualization is how I handle a lot of my negative emotions; anger and fear often get channeled into defending others' rights, maybe because I'm an abuse survivor and defending others helps me handle having been helpless to defend myself.

It's certainly better than dissociation (which is how I often handle sensory overload)--I still have access to my feelings, even though I'm distanced from them. And it lets me understand myself, consciously understand my past instead of pushing it away. I still have PTSD-type traits, but they're manageable.

Stoicism is also a public face of composure and calm, and does not necessarily mean you have no emotional reaction. In private, the usually stoic people may lose their composure, because they become comfortable showing their private (less stoic) face only to their closest family members and/or closest friends.

Last edited by MannyBoo on 14 Mar 2013, 1:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have my Stoic moments but now I almost have too much emotion sometimes, the more tools the better I say.
whatever it is you can find that works to help you navigate life, do it!

Yeah I think this is super important to aspies.

In the simple terms autism is primarily an issue with sensory intergration.

And for those of us that are considered primarily aspies, our main issue is with emotional intergration..

We tend to be rigid in our emotional states, relative to the nt, meaning we can be seen as obsessive.

We tend to be very poor at sharing emotion.( feeling happy because someone else is etc)

We tend to be very poor at hiding emotion.(putting on a fake smile)

We tend to be very poor using emotion as a form of communication. (using the tone of our voice to show interest)

We tend to be very poor with posturing(displaying feelings),
So by definition any belief system that advocates emotional control will be well suited for people with aspergers.