Problems sharing your space

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Anyone need to control every aspect of their space, in my case my home. I'm divorced but have my young daugther living with me. I can't cope with her constant noise and movement and moving stuff around. I just want to be on my own with everything in order, my order, and no noise unless I choose to have it. Noise from the neighbours makes me physically and mentally tired. Any one else have similar experiences?

Every so often my next door neighbours bang on the walls. I don't know if they're constantly putting up paintings or just telling me to be quiet. Anyway, it's quite an annoyance.

It's all a matter of perspective.

Choose to love your daughter above all else and appreciate the silly thing she does, the things she's learning by touching and moving things, the sounds she's making.. appreciate even the fact that you can hear them and aren't deaf. My own experiences with my deaf friends certainly have helped shape this perspective for me. Change the structured rules by which you evaluate the exact same things and all of the sudden your new paradigm allows you to be calm, content, and even happy with those very things happening all around you.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I didn't realise until I had a child that this was an issue, when I was married my husband was distant emtionally and never around. I had a very bad pregnancy and all my symptoms became worse during and after it.

I adore my daughter and she is my life, I always put her first. However I still have issues with space. I just wondered if anyone else felt that way?

I agree about trying to change my rules and how I evalute things, I think that's the problem.

I have an issue with space. We live in a loft-style apartment so there is not much privacy where my bedroom is. It really drives me nuts. I have learned to adapt as best as I could. I have a rule that no kids are allowed in our bedroom (1) without me or my husband there and (2) past a certain time of night, unless deathly ill.

My husband will not renovate to add walls/doors so I am under constant stress. However, I knew this was the deal I signed up for before we married. I just hope our economy crashes so we will sell this place and move to Canada and get a house with a bedroom door on it for me!

I gave up the idea of personal space when I had kids. As long as they don't move MY stuff around, it's OK. If any of my stuff is touched without asking there is HELL to pay LOL They can move around all their stuff all they want. I used to try to keep track and organize all their toys but I now just close my eyes and it's only been recently that I've forced myself to shut it out as much as possible. I have to survive and be sane in any way I can. Oddly, I tolerate their noise a lot better than my husband does, but it depends what kind of noise. We both have our peculiarities about that.

We got triple pane glass windows in our lower floor so that it keeps all the street noise out. Very expensive but oh so worth it.

As far as Stuff, I have to learn to practice what I preach actually. I am trying to teach my son that People are more important than Things, and he sort of understands and agrees, but I'm really a terrible self-hating hypocrite when it comes to that!! !

Thanks mikassyna it helps to see how you've adapted to it.

I live with my parents so the only space I have completely to myself is my bedroom and it is my refuge. It is quiet in there and if my door is closed my family knows to leave me alone. I didn't have a full understanding of how important it was to me to have my own private space until my best friend lived with me for awhile and we shared the room. She would leave her belongings in complete dissaray on her side of the room while my side was neat and orderly most of the time. The mess made the room seem off balance which bothered me greatly and simply not having a place where I could find solitude made the experience very difficult for me.

I feel like a visitor in my own home because of my husband and my son, but I can't find the words to explain it without sounding whiny.

My personal space is MINE and nobody is welcome in it (except my wife, and she is very careful about it). NO guests, no visitors, and the maid is only allowed to clean in certain rooms. No plumbers, no electricians, no carpenters... I have learned all those trades, and do it all myself. Same for my vehicles: Nobody drives them but me. I bought a new truck at the dealer last summer, and have never take it back for free servicing because I don't want anyone to fool with it. Of course I have done all the servicing correctly and with dealer-supplies, and will continue to do so. Therefore the warranty is kept valid.

Charles

Yes I've always had issues with space and stuff being moved. I would go into a rage when I was younger and my stuff was moved or just plain gone! I'm better now with years of practice, but it still bothers me when people touch my stuff. This is 1 of the reasons I live alone.

Me, too. When I was raising my daughter and she had friends over and did not want to share her favorite toys, I understood. I told her she just had to make sure they were entertained and happy while they visited. Other parents focused on telling their children "Now, you have to share." Not me.