Do you have a hard time answering questions?

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I always tend to elaborate my answers dad expects Yes/No but I have to give descriptions LOL! Anyone else like this. (I know I made a similar topic but that was months ago and this issue came up once again today. Thanks.

Yes. Especially in writing, where I can spend as long as I want going into as much detail as possible.

I do, when someone is asking me a question I usually need to think about the answer for awhile.

Depends on what you mean by elaborate. If you consider that even most yes/no questions are filled with implied meaning and nuance, it is nearly impossible to answer truthfully without elaboration and additional inquiries to clarify the question. On the other hand, blunt, monosyllabic grunts of barely discernible yeses and nos are stereotypical of aspies lack of interpersonal engagement and substandard language skills.

Did I answer your question?

I find myself giving long and descriptive answes, as well. My mum always gets on my case by saying, "Just tell me - Yes or No." I find it hard to just give a yes or no answer. I have to explain my motives.

Yes, I have difficulty answering questions. I never know where to start! I usually give too much information and so the person asking me will cut me off without letting me get to the relevant bit. It's as if I can transmit data but there is no filter on it.. I just throw them the entire file.

I feel so put on the spot when someone asks me a personal question that I usually try to reply too quickly or give them a messy answer.

I also take questions very literally.. for example, the other day someone I work with asked me if I was looking for a boyfriend. My thought process went: looking? Am I "looking" for a boyfriend? No I am not actively looking.

I just ended up saying 'no, not really' after I realized he was waiting for a reply.

That same person had asked me if I was 'born here' a few days earlier while we were working at a nursing home. I thought he was making fun of me and asking if I was born at a nursing home. I found out later he was just trying to get to know me by asking me where I was from.

I'm prone to giving detailed answers, but I don't have a hard time with it......in fact I rather enjoy it. But the asker can have a hard time. I'm getting better at pruning my responses down to bite-size, but like eye contact, I can easily relapse if I forget how important it is. And short answers are usually a distortion of the truth, which goes against my grain.

Yes, because of my debilitating perfectionism.

I do that a lot...I almost always ask exactly what they meant...for example, if my mother asks me if I'm fine, I'll ask her what's her definition of "fine" etc.

(((

And then she usually fails to clarify what she means any further than that for me, so she'll just have to settle with a mumbled "I guess I'm ok...???" or "Dunno" )))

Or like last week, I was doing this depression test with my therapist and I was constantly asking about every question just exactly what they meant. They seemed so unclear.
And at some point (in answering one of my questions) then he told me that contentment is not feeling anything. I didn't know that! I thought a mood means you kind of feel some emotion a bit constantly, but apparently feeling nothing is a good mood. And no one ever cared to tell me that before! I really had thought that it's not a good thing to not feel something.

Last edited by Luci on 25 Jan 2011, 9:09 am, edited 3 times in total.

Almost always. I have this strong feeling most of the time that people asking should have ALL the information associated with a Yes/No answer. The why's, and complete reasoning behind the answer.

Trouble is, most people don't want to know all the reasons. Most just want "Yes" or "No," and get exasperated when I give them all the information.

If I think understanding the reasons is important (whether the asker thinks so or not), I'm learning to precede the answer with something like the following.

"I'd rather not answer the question without the opportunity to explain the reasons for it. Are you willing to listen to the reasons?"

Well, that's just his opinion. I accept that "somewhere in the middle" is about the best we can hope for, but I think anybody who never experiences strong emotions (especially positive ones, but also negative, as long as they're not too strong) isn't really living. And there is a symptom of schizophrenia called flattened emotions.

I'm indecisive, but that's probably because I'm a Libra ^^;

I need some time to make a choice, and I'll be fine. I get a lot of pressure if I'm forced to make a hasty decision, because I really can't decide quickly most of the time.

most defiantly.

This is weird because I was the one who was told that people want details when they ask questions so you can't answer "yes" or "no" or they think you don't like them or something. You have to give details because "it's part of the social rules."

With me I am the opposite. If I want details I will ask for it. I also expect a yes or no answer because I won't know if the answer is yes or no. I have a hard time understanding the answer then. Sometimes I can tell if the answer is yes or no but lot of the times I have a hard time with it. I even feel a meltdown coming when my online friends won't give me a direct answer and I hate how I have to wrestle them for a yes or no answer. Sometimes I do have, what I call them, mini meltdown as I am chatting and trying to get a yes or no answer so I understand what answer I got. So this is why I want yes or no answers. Even one of my aspie friends was taught to not give yes or no answers because people want details he was told by his parents so his mother worked with him to do it. So now it's a horrible habit for him to not give me a yes or no answer because it's been a skill he has learned over the last 30 years.

So do NTs really want details when they ask a question and not want a simple answer?
Is it really the social rules to give out details when you answer a simple question?

Now I am hearing in this thread people want a yes or no answer.

That's not a very good definition. I would say that "not feeling anything" is apathetic, not contentment. I've been through months of not feeling anything, and it's not contentment. It's hard to describe, but the closest that I can come to the feeling is that it's like slowly being smothered in a pile of pillows.

Getting back to the original topic of this thread: I find it very difficult to answer questions. If I'm caught by surprise, it takes me a while to think up an answer. I'm a fast thinker, but very slow to change topics. Also, I like to be very precise in my answers, and like to quailfy my answers with a lot if "ifs", "buts", and "excepts".

My problem is not giving answers that are too detailed, but understanding what is meant by the question in the first place.